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Tom Segura AKA Mr. Ladybug

@tomsegura941k followers

I have 4 specials on Netflix. podcast here: You can Merch up here:

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Top outlier
14.5×
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1.7M
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9.6k
Across 96 organic posts
Last scan
Oct 16
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Posts 96 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Apr 17, '20Hey, what THE FUCK?!14.5×0110k10k280
2Mar 28, '22Fuck Will Smith's candy ass smacking a dude 4 inches shorter and 50lbs lighter. He's just in his feelings cause his bald headed bitch been fuckin around on him for years and he tak11.6×074k9k748
3Dec 25, '22Merry Christmas 🎄🏳️‍🌈11×1.7M15k21313
4Jan 22, '23And no hospital visit 👏10.7×1.6M15k22211
5Sep 30, '22Far worse than the loss of life is the loss of a super car. There are billions of people on earth. There were only 375 P1's produced. People are replaceable, this isn't. 🙏10.4×081k5.4k814
6Jun 29, '23Please make this happen 🙏10.4×1.6M12k71638
7Dec 11, '24I was right8.8×1.3M25k2.5k3.4k
8Jan 16, '23G'day mate! 🇦🇺8.6×1.3M14k18312
9Mar 28, '22The bitch BEEN bald. Jokes about it or her are FINE. It was tame AF. You super sensitive about it? Buy a FUCKIN WIG7.4×042k3.3k421
10Aug 14, '23😂😂😂7.2×1.1M10k17415
11Dec 11, '17Hey Keaton, don't get to full or yourself with all this attention. I will fuck You up and there's not a thing that your mom or Lebron or Chris Evans can do about it.7.2×041k10k6
12Oct 31, '19Dude. I mean this makes me cry laughing. 😂😂😂😂4.8×024k7.6k815
13Mar 29, '22Lots of sensitive folks in my mentions. I'd like to remind you all to suck my dick. It's a little sensitive too 😘4.7×037k1.8k62
14Jul 23, '23Please welcome the newest member of the Cool Guy Club 😎🏍️🎸4.3×660k8.1k21069
15Oct 4, '24So many people have texted me about Garth, you'd think I did something3.9×589k8.3k29165
16Jul 18, '19What the fuck?! Jerry isn't allowed to be a Tupac fan?3.4×023k3.3k50
18Dec 24, '25New special is out NOW 👇2.9×435k8485746
19Jul 22, '21I'm going to take drugs tonight2.8×022k1.2k45
20Mar 29, '22Just landed in NYC you dusty bald headed bitches! See you at the shows with a 🔥surprise! #StaySeated 😂😂2.8×020k1.7k114
21Jun 20, '20While we're calling people out, can we take a moment to address what @bertkreischer has been doing to dogs for YEARS?! The man has had intimate relations with nearly every breed an2.7×020k1.6k26
22Aug 23, '20This is just unbelievable. The acting, fight coordination, lighting (or lack thereof), the obvious and wildly inaccurate stunt doubles, the shit audio, total neglect by Seagal for 2.6×019k1.8k258
23May 6, '20Adele lost a bunch of weight and people started tweeting how great she looks and then a bunch of other people started tweeting that we shouldn't associate losing weight with beauty2.5×018k2.3k31
24Mar 8, '19Don't ever quit unless something is really hard2.5×015k3.6k28
25Apr 1, '21This is an elected official in the United States of America2.5×019k1.2k67
26Aug 29, '18To everyone complaining about Louis C.K. being back in comedy clubs, I'd like to ask you sincerely, where exactly is he supposed to cum?2.4×017k1.9k14
27May 17, '22Walked in the house and my 6-year old said, "Look, it's the world famous daddy shitbag, toilet water."2.3×019k68340
28Mar 28, '22LOL you fully endorsed it! Fuck Will Smith 🤙🏼2.2×017k92832
29May 23, '19Amazing, real-life moment where I capture one of my moms legendary farts. We go into great detail about it in episode 500 of YMH. She isn't happy that I'm posting this but I did pa2.1×013k2.2k224
30Dec 8, '18Dear @TheAcademy, I will jerk off 2 guys at the same time (of different races) and Make Them CUM while hosting your boring show in order to heal our nation.2.1×013k2.1k24
31Jan 1, '19I should probably say that if I've ever written a joke on Twitter or performed one on stage that offended someone, that person should eat my dads ass. He's 71. Get your life togeth2.1×014k2.2k17
32Jun 9, '20It's been quite the ride witnessing someone devolve to the point where they are spewing this. Also this is the President Of The United States. #Neato2.0×014k1.9k31
33Apr 10, '19I'm so over people like this getting attention. We need to highlight IG models, actors and SoundCloud rappers. Not this science nonsense.2.0×014k2.1k23
34Mar 28, '22Where's the racism? This is about a comedian and a bitch2.0×016k54151
35Mar 21, '20This is a great time to hit your kids as Child Protective Services are unable to fulfill their normal duties due to CORONAVIRUS restrictions.2.0×014k1.9k40
36Sep 15, '20Let's be honest - JRE is not the place to get a read on these candidates. If you want to know what direction the country is going to go in @JoeBiden & @realDonaldTrump need to 2.0×015k1.2k5
37Oct 5, '19That's me2.0×016k97714
38Nov 13, '20So true!2.0×015k1.2k29
39Sep 16, '20Kanye havin a pretty chill day2.0×015k1.5k9
40Nov 16, '22I keep having hiccups. Am I gay?1.9×014k74859
41Mar 6, '19"Of course my son can sleep in your bed."1.9×013k1.6k53
42Apr 8, '19They used a photoshop of me without eyebrows for promo 😂😂😂1.9×015k87513
43May 9, '20There are no such things as CHAMPIONS in your FAKE ASS SPORT! If you wanna do something real - get at me.1.9×013k1.2k26
44Mar 14, '22I will be donating $10,000 to @TrevorProject as a thank you to Westboro Baptist Church for protesting my show 🤙🏼😂🏳️‍🌈1.8×014k82419
45Jul 25, '18Honestly, if you're triggered by words I feel for you. Stay home. In the dark. Don't get online and don't look outside. It's better that way.1.8×010k2.9k8
46Jul 21, '18Happy to report that @ChristinaP gave birth to a happy, healthy non-gender specific baby this evening! She and baby are great. We can't wait to show XxxX-Rowe Segura the world!1.8×014k8843
47Nov 15, '19Ndamukong Suh watching that Garrett clip, nodding, "and that's how you play football."1.8×012k2k13
48Aug 26, '19I mean I love you and I'm proud of you but you can't dance for shit1.7×012k1.2k58
49Jan 19, '20We out here1.7×013k81817
50Mar 10, '20My new special BALL HOG drops March 24th on @NetflixIsAJoke1.7×011k1.6k56
51Aug 1, '21The hardest part of living in Texas is pretending that Whataburger isn't dog shit.1.7×012k77222
52Nov 7, '20He's just SO dumb. "Miraculously disappear." You mean the states started counting mail ins when their state let them? This is like when there's a blizzard and he says "what happene1.6×012k1.2k27
53Jun 29, '20My dream is to voice a black character and an Asian character on an animated show and show other white people how it's done.1.6×012k72714
54May 28, '19Took an absolutely catastrophic shit on a regional plane just now. Wow. Total disaster. 4 flushes. Need a shower. Whole cabin is looking at me. Never been prouder.1.5×012k89236
55Sep 14, '21This is so legendary. I remember watching it. Norm was easily one of the best ever. So effortlessly funny. Total master. RIP1.5×011k899229
56Apr 10, '21New studio, who dis?1.5×013k37512
57Sep 30, '20Jesus Christ, this is embarrassing. #Debate20201.5×011k9827
58Dec 2, '20I was injured yesterday and it really sucks. I can't move. Multiple broken bones. Unfortunately this means I will not be able to do my shows this weekend in Phoenix. We are looking1.5×011k9315
59Feb 3, '19This documentary is making Ted Bundy sound like a really bad guy.1.5×010k1.2k11
60Dec 12, '22Don't be a loser...1.4×09.3k1.2k216
61Jun 1, '18I took an ambien last night and nothing. Brain just shut off. Totally sober now and the Jews run the banks because the god damn Chinese will stab you in the back.1.4×09.4k1.6k9
62Dec 6, '20OK guys I need ideas for tattoos to cover this thing up. this is my upper left arm by the way1.4×08.8k7836
63Sep 30, '21We masturbate as a family in my home.1.4×010k69238
64Apr 21, '21Happy 4/21!1.4×08.9k1.5k54
65Jan 13, '20Congrats to @JimmyJohnson on his #HallofFame induction! He blocked me years ago when I mistakenly speculated that he may have been in a sex video I saw where a man (who looked a lo1.4×011k69816
66Sep 7, '19😭💀1.4×08.9k1.6k14
67Jan 6, '21Dozens of people telling me "Now is not the time" to tweet something unrelated to the news 👍🏼. OKAY! Hey guys, storming the Capitol and rioting is BAD. You should not do that. Re1.3×010k51213
68Aug 8, '20How soon can you crank your hog after a vasectomy?1.3×09.3k54728
70Apr 13, '21So proud of Bert and so excited to get to talk on 2 Bears for a few months!1.3×011k34618
71May 31, '20Good.1.3×09.5k87029
72Nov 26, '19This holiday season don't forget to #toastsomeone who means the world to you. It can be your #firstwife or your #secondwife or even your #thirdwife. @SamuelAdamsBeer1.3×08.1k1.2k57
73May 5, '19A guy pulled his dick out and pissed at his seat during the last show. In a theater with people all around him 😧. Then the police came and took him away. 👮🏼‍♀️ Support live come1.3×09.7k53711
74May 8, '20Oh no! Not "the king" 😂1.2×09k75726
75Nov 26, '20Ham is bullshit1.2×08.1k8683
76May 13, '20Holy Shit!1.2×08k1.1k84
77Feb 23, '19I gave Robert Kraft a blowjob for no money.1.2×08.8k8138
78Feb 10, '19Me and my dawg out here killin the game1.2×09.3k58810
79Dec 5, '18I'd rather "beat 12 cats to death with a hammer" than adopt your illogical nonsense.1.2×08k1.3k14
80Feb 14, '21Happy V Day ❤️1.2×08.9k82910
81Jan 11, '19He gonna nut so hard on the 1st night 👍🏼🍆💦#Heisman1.2×08.3k89118
82Dec 5, '19As he should! Was ready to cancel him, but I'll wait a beat...1.2×09.1k64413
83Oct 16, '18Piers curling those 5 pounders like a REAL MAN!1.2×08.3k8504
84Sep 11, '18Hey guys I checked and this is actually true1.2×08.3k1k4
85Jan 5, '21Ball is life:1.1×09.2k33423
86Jan 3, '21This one😂😂1.1×09k50815
87Oct 26, '20DK Metcalf chasing down Baker is flat out other level athleticism. I cannot get over how fast he is. Terrifying.1.1×08.8k41510
88Jan 5, '21Me1.1×09.1k3334
89Nov 2, '20Look at me. I'm better than anyone who hasn't voted and I'm better than anyone who has voted but hasn't told you or shown you that they voted. #IVoted #vote #dontVoteTwice1.1×08.5k5716
90May 4, '21Just spent the day with my parents and siblings and am currently unwinding with drinking, smoking, edibles + pills. There's nothing like family!1.1×08.8k37314
91Apr 23, '20It ain't Friday 😂😂🚭1.1×08.5k5346
92May 1, '22Bert broke the stage 🥲1.0×08.7k2135
93Dec 6, '20Please stop blaming Garth for my injuries. Yes he's responsible for a lot of hurt and harm in this world but my pain is all my fault.1.0×08.4k24610
94Oct 16, '22It's still #soberoctober and we're still going strong 🤙🏼 Shout out to @whoop and my boy @bertkreischer - we're gettin after it every day!1.0×08.1k9617
95Mar 29, '22Hey bitch!!1.0×07.9k27010
96Dec 3, '20Thank you for all the messages. Surgery tomorrow! 🍻1.0×08k303
97Aug 1, '21Go fuck your dad1.0×07.9k3384
98Jun 26, '20They tried to charge me for milk on the side at @Starbucks and we almost had another comedian in the news (for a violent response!).1.0×07.7k3087

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