| 1 | Aug 29, '24 | She looks at her 7th bedroom, “Ben used to hide here.” | 220× | 13.1M | 307k | 17k | 3.9k |
| 2 | Jan 14, '24 | I haven’t seen Jerry Jones this upset since they passed the Civil Rights Act | 104× | 6.2M | 92k | 11k | 1.6k |
| 3 | Jan 29, '24 | Dan Campbell drawing an 18 in blackjack: “hit me.” | 78.4× | 4.7M | 78k | 8.1k | 893 |
| 4 | Apr 11, '24 | OJ lied? | 71.7× | 4.3M | 67k | 2.6k | 590 |
| 5 | Feb 26, '24 | An all-timer crazy moment | 65× | 3.9M | 34k | 3.4k | 4.5k |
| 6 | May 6, '23 | George Lucas has seen Star Wars and he’s a billionaire | 61.8× | 3.7M | 43k | 1.7k | 129 |
| 7 | Dec 9, '24 | “Yes, I represent Luigi Mangione.” | 59.7× | 3.6M | 60k | 2.6k | 1.1k |
| 8 | Apr 26, '24 | I respect Joel Embiid’s talent and greatness as a player, but this is a disgrace. This is after he kicked Hartenstein in the balls. You don’t see Jokic or Giannis doing this bc thi | 53.5× | 3.2M | 22k | 1.4k | 556 |
| 9 | Sep 3, '23 | Being trapped at Burning Man seems almost as bad as being trapped in a conversation with someone who went to Burning Man | 45.7× | 2.7M | 45k | 3.9k | 275 |
| 10 | Dec 4, '24 | The inspiring story of the guy who bounced back from a devastating injury to do a worse job than the novice QB he was replacing | 41.2× | 2.5M | 42k | 2k | 526 |
| 11 | Aug 17, '23 | Make that 7 rings for Pippen/Jordan | 38.2× | 2.3M | 12k | 1k | 78 |
| 12 | Jan 21, '25 | Guys, it’s day 1 of 4 years. Don’t react to every little…wait, was that a Nazi salute? | 36.6× | 2.2M | 85k | 4.1k | 905 |
| 13 | Jan 29, '25 | View post on X | 34.5× | 2.1M | 49k | 2k | 5.4k |
| 14 | Oct 9, '24 | .@gardenofdreams charity game. Hard to believe our team lost. | 33.8× | 2M | 8.4k | 151 | 97 |
| 15 | Dec 12, '23 | “3 veal parms or we walk.” | 31.1× | 1.9M | 29k | 1.2k | 240 |
| 16 | Mar 24, '24 | Tough L for Texas but their coach can go back to his job at Pollo Hermanos | 30.7× | 1.8M | 20k | 775 | 216 |
| 17 | Oct 3, '23 | I dunno. I’m glad my parents drew the line at shouting. | 30× | 1.8M | 12k | 595 | 90 |
| 18 | Jun 25, '23 | “Don’t impregnate 13 year olds brother!” | 27.5× | 1.6M | 9.9k | 1.1k | 81 |
| 19 | Jun 13, '24 | Matchups are weird. The Wolves beat the Nuggets. The Mavs beat the Wolves. The Mavs are getting smoked by Boston, but I feel like the Nuggets would’ve given the Celtics a decent se | 25.5× | 1.5M | 14k | 642 | 307 |
| 20 | May 2, '24 | Guy who is trolling me not realizing I was in this movie scene | 23.7× | 1.4M | 7.9k | 165 | 83 |
| 21 | Oct 12, '23 | This should make a dent | 23.3× | 1.4M | 9.2k | 273 | 21 |
| 22 | Jan 23, '23 | This guy is 71 years old | 22.9× | 1.4M | 9.5k | 301 | 25 |
| 23 | Aug 16, '24 | Somehow, someway, I am BACK on morning TV. | 21.7× | 1.3M | 10k | 715 | 624 |
| 24 | Jul 21, '24 | Biden: I am not mentally capable of making important decisions….I think Kamala Harris should be president. | 21.2× | 1.3M | 21k | 1.7k | 437 |
| 25 | Aug 13, '23 | “It’s from both of us.”-Lauren Sanchez | 20.6× | 1.2M | 9k | 377 | 39 |
| 26 | Mar 25, '23 | A lot of pressure on Jonah Hill to stay funny. | 20.3× | 1.2M | 17k | 863 | 53 |
| 27 | Mar 28, '22 | Jussie Smollett is saying Will Smith hit him too | 19.2× | 0 | 81k | 8.7k | 196 |
| 28 | Mar 27, '23 | It’s one thing to steal my joke verbatim, but to add their handle to the post to want credit…truly unoriginal morally bankrupt pieces of shit. | 17.7× | 1.1M | 11k | 308 | 48 |
| 29 | Mar 1, '24 | Another stellar morning show appearance. You keep inviting me on, I’ll keep coming. | 17.3× | 1M | 7.7k | 570 | 444 |
| 30 | Apr 6, '20 | Feels like we are all in prison but the prison in Goodfellas where you can still make pasta | 15.8× | 0 | 60k | 11k | 262 |
| 31 | Sep 14, '23 | “I will honor the spirit of the strike by not doing a monologue, New Rules or desk pieces.” Bc you can’t. Writers did that stuff. That’s not honoring them. It’s something you are n | 15× | 893k | 8.1k | 404 | 28 |
| 32 | Mar 25, '24 | Hey that’s a judgment free zone | 14.4× | 861k | 18k | 846 | 80 |
| 33 | Jan 15, '23 | Paul Giamatti’s agent: “they want you to play Albert Einstein.” Giamatti: “a bio pic?” Agent: “no, in a Verizon commercial.” | 13.6× | 810k | 6.9k | 282 | 16 |
| 34 | Jan 15, '24 | NFL Memes. More like Sam Morril memes. | 13.5× | 805k | 13k | 413 | 75 |
| 35 | Aug 12, '23 | Deshaun Watson will still start at quarterback | 13.2× | 788k | 5.1k | 276 | 16 |
| 36 | Jul 6, '24 | Another morning TV bomb | 13× | 774k | 7.2k | 515 | 727 |
| 37 | Mar 28, '22 | Will Smith just won an award for being the best actor, but he couldn’t act like a human being during a joke. | 12.1× | 0 | 54k | 3.7k | 110 |
| 38 | Apr 27, '25 | That no call is payback for the 4 years 71 mill Tim Hardaway Jr stole from the Knicks | 11× | 654k | 10k | 1.2k | 164 |
| 39 | Dec 1, '22 | The guy who mocked the Sandy Hook victims families thinks Kanye is going too far | 10.8× | 0 | 50k | 3k | 327 |
| 40 | May 2, '23 | Writers deserve more respect. People worship actors, but they’re nothing without writers. Writing is harder than acting. There are child actors. There are no child writers. | 10.7× | 640k | 6.4k | 580 | 40 |
| 41 | Oct 5, '23 | Too bad. Roy is a comics comic. He would’ve made the show funny to both sides. A guy from Alabama who hit the road hard and lives in New York. He understands how to connect. I’m no | 10.4× | 622k | 4.4k | 176 | 16 |
| 42 | Feb 13, '23 | Rihanna proving women do not need maternity leave | 10.4× | 620k | 6.3k | 515 | 45 |
| 43 | Jan 26, '24 | This is like when Pacino won for Scent of a Woman | 10.3× | 613k | 4.5k | 296 | 59 |
| 44 | Feb 4, '23 | Good thing China can’t spy on us anymore. -Sent from my IPhone | 9.9× | 589k | 7.1k | 605 | 10 |
| 45 | Nov 30, '23 | Damn he’s shredded. I gotta brush more. | 9.7× | 579k | 6.2k | 218 | 18 |
| 46 | May 28, '23 | Succession has been one of the best shows ever made. Everything about it is great- the music, the acting, the sets, etc. BUT it’s one of the best written shows of all time. Might b | 9.3× | 557k | 7.1k | 700 | 45 |
| 47 | Jan 22, '24 | Buffalo losing on a wide right missed field goal is like if Lance Armstrong got cancer in his other ball. | 9.0× | 536k | 4.7k | 350 | 86 |
| 48 | Feb 10, '23 | For someone who cares about the environment, Leonardo Dicaprio sure does love fucking the future generation. | 8.9× | 529k | 8.6k | 613 | 50 |
| 49 | Apr 28, '24 | Joel Embiid purposely trying to injure Mitchell Robinson and succeeding is one of the all time bitch ass moves from a star in playoff history | 8.6× | 512k | 8.7k | 748 | 116 |
| 50 | Sep 2, '22 | Trans joke from my new special Same Time Tomorrow streaming on Netflix now. Captions fixed. | 8.5× | 0 | 33k | 3.1k | 1.7k |
| 51 | Feb 13, '23 | Hey, Megan. I’ll be doing two theater shows in your city of Orlando in March. I’ll put two comps under Megan the Grouch. You’ve tweeted at me 20 times and I think you could use a n | 7.8× | 464k | 4.3k | 105 | 5 |
| 52 | Jun 21, '23 | At an airport maybe make it 9-12 minutes | 7.6× | 455k | 6.1k | 188 | 41 |
| 53 | Aug 10, '24 | Steph Curry banging more 3s than me in my early years on the road | 7.2× | 429k | 4.8k | 145 | 60 |
| 54 | May 10, '25 | Hacking Mitchell Robinson up 29. The Celtics maybe a great team, but they are a bitch ass team. | 6.9× | 410k | 5.3k | 282 | 75 |
| 55 | Oct 2, '20 | @realDonaldTrump @FLOTUS this is the first time Melania has been positive around you | 6.7× | 0 | 30k | 2.1k | 104 |
| 56 | Feb 25, '24 | Watching from a green room. Hell yeah. | 6.1× | 363k | 6.5k | 69 | 28 |
| 57 | Apr 20, '23 | So now the accounts who have a blue check mark on here are the same people who bought a class ring | 5.5× | 328k | 5k | 477 | 9 |
| 58 | May 22, '25 | Is this what we did to the Celtics twice? This feels terrible | 5.3× | 314k | 5.2k | 230 | 63 |
| 59 | Jun 5, '25 | “Jokes on all of you. I helped elect a pedo!” | 4.8× | 284k | 5.9k | 429 | 89 |
| 60 | Nov 16, '24 | "Jake Paul can say he beat Mike Tyson"...As an old man. If you fuck a playmate when she's in her 80s, it's not as cool either. | 4.0× | 239k | 5k | 312 | 71 |
| 61 | Jul 5, '20 | I don’t think Kanye can win. He’s an egomaniac with no political experience. | 4.0× | 0 | 18k | 1.1k | 32 |
| 62 | Oct 28, '22 | My drinking mistakes aren’t as bad as I get older. I wake up like, “did I sign up for Paramount Plus last night?” | 3.9× | 0 | 18k | 962 | 109 |
| 63 | Oct 15, '24 | View post on X | 3.9× | 231k | 9.6k | 216 | 179 |
| 64 | May 17, '24 | NY vibes right now. New York is cookin. | 3.8× | 224k | 7.9k | 289 | 52 |
| 65 | May 20, '20 | Just got disconnected from a friend on FaceTime and neither of us called the other one back. That’s real friendship. | 3.7× | 0 | 17k | 1.2k | 56 |
| 66 | May 17, '25 | Knicks in 6 | 3.4× | 201k | 6k | 65 | 39 |
| 67 | Jun 28, '24 | Neither of these men should be up this late. | 2.9× | 170k | 4.9k | 372 | 15 |
| 68 | Oct 11, '24 | View post on X | 2.5× | 148k | 5.9k | 94 | 47 |
| 69 | Apr 24, '21 | Just asked a woman where to get a good lunch around here in Bridgeport, CT. She pointed to a Dunkin Donuts. I laughed and decided to explore for 20 minutes. Here I am back at Dunki | 2.4× | 0 | 12k | 258 | 29 |
| 70 | Mar 28, '22 | Can’t believe a famous celebrity smacked a comedian on TV and it wasn’t Kanye | 2.3× | 0 | 10k | 788 | 28 |
| 71 | Sep 30, '20 | I keep laughing and then stopping abruptly and remembering this is happening to us and not a TV show | 2.0× | 0 | 8.5k | 1.1k | 11 |
| 72 | Mar 24, '22 | Might go for even more if they change the name | 2.0× | 0 | 8.9k | 639 | 26 |
| 73 | Sep 1, '22 | New special streaming now on Netflix. Hope you enjoy it. | 1.9× | 0 | 7.5k | 779 | 177 |
| 74 | Mar 28, '22 | That was the biggest hit Will Smith has been involved in since the 90s | 1.9× | 0 | 8.4k | 666 | 10 |
| 75 | Mar 4, '20 | I got 0 offers on my new special so i shot it and edited it with friends. In 3 weeks, we are at 1,153,000 views and counting. Most of the industry is clueless. Word of mouth is a b | 1.8× | 0 | 7k | 751 | 183 |
| 76 | Aug 2, '25 | View post on X | 1.8× | 106k | 12k | 298 | 94 |
| 77 | Aug 23, '22 | From the last time I was in Pittsburgh. I’ll be back this Fri-Sun. I was not invited back to do morning TV. | 1.7× | 0 | 7.5k | 544 | 145 |
| 78 | Nov 25, '22 | Watching Guy Fieri eat a French Dip and he said “man, love the jus” and in this climate, it was nice to hear. | 1.7× | 0 | 8.1k | 364 | 44 |
| 79 | Nov 11, '22 | Love weddings | 1.7× | 0 | 8.3k | 203 | 49 |
| 80 | Apr 27, '22 | Elon Musk got out of an Amber Heard relationship unscathed so yeah, I think he can handle Twitter. | 1.7× | 0 | 7.5k | 488 | 16 |
| 81 | Feb 6, '21 | "I should treat myself to some pens"-one of the more depressing thoughts I've had in Walgreens | 1.6× | 0 | 7.5k | 322 | 10 |
| 82 | Sep 15, '21 | Norm was so funny that if anyone didn’t find him funny, you immediately knew they were a dipshit. | 1.5× | 0 | 6.9k | 494 | 23 |
| 83 | Mar 28, '22 | Amazing that you can reach Rock’s level as a comedian and you still play gigs with no security | 1.5× | 0 | 7k | 323 | 10 |
| 84 | May 6, '20 | Remember that campaign hugs not drugs? Now hugs are worse | 1.3× | 0 | 5.4k | 638 | 7 |
| 85 | May 11, '19 | Anyone over 30 who waits on a line to get into a bar is mentally ill | 1.3× | 0 | 5.4k | 493 | 9 |
| 86 | Dec 8, '22 | Good to have Brittney Griner back in the US. You think people in Russia are like, "finally, the Merchant of Death is home"? | 1.2× | 0 | 5.6k | 347 | 29 |
| 87 | Nov 1, '20 | An extra hour in 2020 is like getting a free appetizer from a restaurant that gave you food poisoning | 1.2× | 0 | 4.8k | 750 | 13 |
| 88 | Feb 21, '21 | People who respond sincerely to joke tweets should have a red check mark | 1.2× | 0 | 5.6k | 349 | 13 |
| 89 | Apr 25, '20 | Can’t decide if I should pick up yoga or heroin | 1.2× | 0 | 4.8k | 584 | 11 |
| 90 | Sep 25, '21 | I’m changing jacking off to one man show | 1.2× | 0 | 5.6k | 318 | 19 |
| 91 | Sep 30, '22 | “No alcohol tonight”- me before opening 6 bags of candy | 1.1× | 0 | 5.4k | 257 | 26 |
| 92 | Aug 29, '20 | This was such a cool moment. RIP Chadwick Boseman. | 1.1× | 0 | 4.3k | 724 | 38 |
| 93 | Aug 26, '20 | I'm guessing Trump will weigh in on the NBA protests in a classy way that brings us together. | 1.1× | 0 | 4.7k | 418 | 6 |
| 94 | Oct 11, '20 | If you’re complaining about Burr’s stand-up, stand-up might not be your thing. It’s like watching basketball and not getting LeBron. | 1.1× | 0 | 4.8k | 362 | 7 |
| 95 | Sep 30, '20 | I feel for Joe Biden because this is what it's like doing stand-up in Florida | 1.1× | 0 | 5k | 317 | 3 |
| 96 | Feb 4, '19 | Here’s a bit Fat Jew stole from me years ago. When I confronted him by email, he didn’t respond, but pulled the joke. When you follow IG accounts like him or fuckjerry, you’re supp | 1.1× | 0 | 4.5k | 458 | 40 |
| 97 | May 1, '20 | MacGruber is a better movie than Gone With The Wind | 1.0× | 0 | 4.1k | 433 | 7 |
| 98 | Aug 28, '20 | Love when a troll responds “stick to comedy.” If 100% of what I say has to be a joke, then you have to stick to talking auto insurance. | 1.0× | 0 | 4.7k | 275 | 6 |
| 99 | Oct 9 | A shortened version of the rat story from my Netflix special Incorrect. | 1.0× | 58k | 2.2k | 123 | 389 |
| 100 | Aug 31, '20 | I’m a liberal from Manhattan and I will never vote for Trump, but I have to say there is no more horrible comedy audience than far left extremists. I’ve never seen so many talentle | 0.9× | 0 | 4.2k | 258 | 26 |
| 101 | Sep 7, '22 | Hope I bounce back from this one | 0.9× | 0 | 4.3k | 65 | 2 |
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