| 1 | Jul 5, '24 | When life gets you down and you feel unloved and worthless, just remember you’ll be dead one day. Have a great weekend. | 37.2× | 86.7M | 156k | 24k | 8k |
| 2 | Jan 22, '25 | Sad News. 'Anti', who played 'Brandy' in AfterLife, has died. She was 13 and a very good girl 😢 | 7.3× | 17M | 231k | 9k | 1.3k |
| 3 | Jan 27, '23 | I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local libra | 7.1× | 16.5M | 206k | 15k | 898 |
| 4 | Oct 31, '25 | They said no. | 6.9× | 16M | 187k | 15k | 5.2k |
| 5 | Mar 12, '23 | Fuck That! 😂 | 6.7× | 15.6M | 110k | 8.1k | 1.3k |
| 6 | Feb 12, '23 | The worst thing about being famous is the lack of privacy. I can’t even walk down the street without people looking and pointing. | 6.0× | 14.1M | 172k | 8k | 431 |
| 7 | Nov 3, '25 | I suppose this is out of the question? | 6.0× | 14M | 266k | 19k | 7.4k |
| 8 | Nov 16, '17 | The fact that Trump has lifted President Obama's ban on elephant trophies being imported into the country is a devastating blow to the survival of these beautiful animals. It's sav | 6.0× | 0 | 254k | 123k | 15 |
| 9 | Sep 14, '19 | Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't | 5.4× | 0 | 328k | 66k | 1.5k |
| 10 | Dec 22, '24 | This photo was taken backstage immediately after my monologue at the 2020 Golden Globes. Not sure I realised quite what I'd done 😂 | 5.1× | 11.8M | 259k | 14k | 6.3k |
| 11 | Feb 3, '25 | They're still not listening. | 4.9× | 11.4M | 300k | 32k | 6.6k |
| 12 | Feb 24, '23 | This is me pondering whether they'll change any of the words I've used in my work after I'm dead, to spare those who are fragile and easily offended. Words like 'fat' and 'ugly'. A | 4.6× | 10.7M | 152k | 13k | 883 |
| 13 | Jan 8, '20 | 1. Simply pointing out whether someone is left or right wing isn't winning the argument. 2. If a joke is good enough, it can be enjoyed by anyone. 3. It's not all about you. 4. Jus | 4.6× | 0 | 302k | 43k | 998 |
| 14 | Jan 28, '23 | For all the people who’ve been through this 😢 | 4.2× | 9.7M | 86k | 6.2k | 1.5k |
| 15 | Jan 10, '20 | If you don’t believe in free speech for people who you disagree with, and even hate for what they stand for, then you don’t believe in free speech. | 4.0× | 0 | 252k | 44k | 804 |
| 16 | Dec 31, '18 | Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't | 3.8× | 0 | 225k | 49k | 832 |
| 17 | Oct 24, '24 | 26 years ago, I was made redundant and given a few grand. I decided that if I was careful, I could live off the money for 6 months trying to become a comedian before I had to get a | 3.7× | 8.6M | 151k | 7.1k | 6k |
| 18 | Mar 2, '23 | I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local libra | 3.7× | 8.5M | 138k | 9k | 413 |
| 19 | Jun 7, '25 | I did this cameo for a laugh when I was visiting the set. It wasn’t in the script & there was no rehearsal. We just filmed 2 idiots ad libbing. What a fun morning. | 3.7× | 8.5M | 185k | 8.4k | 20k |
| 20 | Jan 6, '20 | How the fuck can teasing huge corporations, and the richest, most privileged people in the world be considered right wing? 😂 #GoldenGlobes | 3.6× | 0 | 244k | 26k | 609 |
| 21 | Jan 6, '20 | Thanks for all your amazing comments about my Golden Globes monologue. Best reaction ever and that means a lot to me. I had a blast but thank fuck it's over, so I can get back to m | 3.5× | 0 | 259k | 18k | 215 |
| 22 | Mar 25, '23 | I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer & my mum did everything to make ends meet. I went to the local comprehensive at the end of my road. Life was tough, I guess. An | 3.3× | 7.6M | 108k | 2.9k | 224 |
| 23 | Mar 13, '23 | 💔 | 3.1× | 7.1M | 73k | 7.2k | 2.2k |
| 24 | Jan 6, '20 | Never gonna happen 😂 | 2.8× | 0 | 215k | 13k | 277 |
| 25 | Dec 26, '24 | Best fans in the world ❤️ | 2.7× | 6.4M | 21k | 1.8k | 706 |
| 26 | Jul 22, '23 | I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local libra | 2.7× | 6.3M | 82k | 7.3k | 303 |
| 27 | Nov 5, '24 | Happy Election Day, America. I hope you win. Cheers! | 2.7× | 6.3M | 262k | 14k | 2.6k |
| 28 | Apr 19, '25 | If facts hurt your feelings, you need new feelings, not new facts. | 2.5× | 5.9M | 122k | 19k | 3.2k |
| 29 | Oct 7, '25 | It’s now 27 years since I was made redundant and given a few grand. I decided that if I was careful, I could live off the money for 6 months trying to become a comedian before I ha | 2.5× | 5.7M | 133k | 5.6k | 5.3k |
| 30 | Jun 9, '24 | Politics | 2.4× | 5.6M | 74k | 15k | 4.9k |
| 31 | Jun 20, '18 | Giraffes are now on the 'red list' of endangerment due to a 40% decline over the last 25 years. They could become extinct. Gone forever. And still, we allow spoilt cunts to pay mon | 2.4× | 0 | 93k | 50k | 160 |
| 32 | Jan 8, '20 | I didn't roast Hollywood for being a bunch of liberals. I myself am a liberal. Nothing wrong with that. I roasted them for wearing their liberalism like a medal. I'm such a snowfla | 2.4× | 0 | 175k | 12k | 299 |
| 33 | Oct 19, '25 | Nah, Fuck That! 😂 | 2.3× | 5.4M | 101k | 6k | 2.3k |
| 34 | Apr 17, '21 | I’d better learn my lines. | 2.2× | 0 | 170k | 7.1k | 177 |
| 35 | May 6, '20 | Because so many of you watched #AfterLife2 so quickly and made it Number 1 again, the nice people at @Netflix have suggested that I get off my fat arse and do another season. This | 2.2× | 0 | 154k | 11k | 117 |
| 36 | Jan 7, '20 | 😂 | 2.2× | 0 | 157k | 10k | 238 |
| 37 | Aug 18, '21 | Such sad news. RIP the great Sean Lock. One of the funniest, most influential comedians of a generation. A lovely man. 💔 | 2.2× | 0 | 172k | 8.1k | 142 |
| 38 | May 2, '22 | It’s busy in the garden today. ❤️ | 2.1× | 0 | 164k | 7.3k | 1.2k |
| 39 | Jan 22, '20 | It’s important to teach young children not to eat with their mouths open. That way, they won’t grow up and become a 60 year old man sitting at the next table to me in the restauran | 2.1× | 0 | 147k | 14k | 359 |
| 40 | Feb 24, '23 | Whenever you’re feeling down about life and thinking that no one cares, just remember you’ll be dead soon and none of this will matter. Have a great day ❤️ | 2.1× | 4.9M | 76k | 8.4k | 659 |
| 41 | Jan 7, '20 | I always knew that there were morons in the world that took jokes seriously, but I'm surprised that some journalists do. Surely, understanding stuff is pretty fundamental to their | 2.1× | 0 | 156k | 9.7k | 117 |
| 42 | Mar 2, '25 | Good luck to all the Oscar nominees. And remember… | 2.0× | 4.8M | 178k | 21k | 3.2k |
| 43 | Jun 11, '20 | Terrible lack of diversity in this video. | 2.0× | 0 | 125k | 15k | 1.1k |
| 44 | Mar 10, '20 | Just had to say goodbye to the sweetest little soul I’ve ever known. RIP Ollie July 9th 2003 - March 10th 2020 | 2.0× | 0 | 139k | 4.5k | 184 |
| 45 | Jun 30, '19 | It's interesting that the people who believe that throwing a milkshake in someone's face shouldn't be considered assault are often the same people who believe that 'saying things' | 1.9× | 0 | 110k | 26k | 375 |
| 46 | Mar 20, '18 | A man has been convicted in a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive". If you don't believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly off | 1.9× | 0 | 98k | 31k | 68 |
| 47 | Feb 9, '20 | “I can’t wait to hear all your inspirational speeches about equality, and it’s great that the 3 hours you’re here tonight is the only time your badly paid migrant house staff will | 1.8× | 0 | 114k | 18k | 315 |
| 48 | Dec 31, '20 | When I was really poor, me & Jane used to celebrate New Year’s Eve by staying at home & just sitting on the couch, getting drunk, watching repeats of ‘Bullseye’ on a tiny T | 1.7× | 0 | 142k | 4.2k | 166 |
| 49 | Sep 5, '22 | Fuck that 😂 | 1.7× | 0 | 118k | 11k | 2.1k |
| 50 | Feb 19, '21 | I used to be constantly disappointed by the human race, but Twitter has helped me lower my expectations. | 1.7× | 0 | 121k | 12k | 320 |
| 51 | Nov 8, '22 | Guess where I am. | 1.7× | 0 | 99k | 1.7k | 245 |
| 52 | Jan 6, '20 | “Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon & there’s no sequel” | 1.7× | 0 | 122k | 9.8k | 341 |
| 53 | Jul 19, '20 | It's common now to mistake defending someone's right to say things, with agreeing with those things. If you don't support free speech for people who you disagree with, then you don | 1.7× | 0 | 102k | 19k | 415 |
| 54 | Dec 19, '24 | They should’ve listened 😂 | 1.5× | 3.6M | 104k | 11k | 1.9k |
| 55 | May 10, '19 | If you don’t believe in free speech for people who you hate, fear and disagree with, then you don’t believe in free speech. | 1.5× | 0 | 87k | 21k | 272 |
| 56 | Jun 8, '20 | Stupid cunts. | 1.5× | 0 | 107k | 10k | 87 |
| 57 | Jan 8, '24 | I fucking won! | 1.5× | 3.5M | 110k | 4.4k | 341 |
| 58 | Nov 4, '20 | I hope Kanye demands a recount. | 1.4× | 0 | 102k | 9.5k | 92 |
| 59 | Sep 13, '22 | Whenever you’re feeling down about life and thinking that no one cares, just remember you’ll be dead soon and none of this will matter. Have a great day. | 1.4× | 0 | 95k | 12k | 1k |
| 60 | Aug 15, '19 | Animal cruelty is wrong. “But, it's tradition", doesn't make it right, "It's part of my religion" doesn't make it right, "It's my culture”, doesn't make it right, and "people are m | 1.4× | 0 | 83k | 19k | 166 |
| 61 | Jan 8, '20 | 😂 | 1.4× | 0 | 101k | 8k | 108 |
| 62 | Jun 14, '25 | Just met a lovely cat in Hertford. Turned out to be a nazi. | 1.4× | 3.2M | 106k | 6.7k | 2.4k |
| 63 | Aug 31, '21 | Just went up to my mate who was sitting in his car. I pressed my face against the window pulling a stupid expression. He wound the window down. Wasn’t him. Bloke said “Are you Rick | 1.4× | 0 | 111k | 3k | 185 |
| 64 | Jun 13, '20 | I always feel sorry for the horses at these protests. I would like to suggest the use of armoured rhinos instead. | 1.4× | 0 | 102k | 6.9k | 68 |
| 65 | Feb 10, '20 | I have nothing against the most famous people in the world using their privileged, global platform to tell the world what they believe. I even agree with most of it. I just tried t | 1.3× | 0 | 91k | 8.9k | 193 |
| 66 | May 23, '19 | I voted remain. I would still like to stay in Europe. I will argue with people who disagree me, always respecting their right to do so. What I won't do is throw things at them. Tha | 1.3× | 0 | 89k | 10k | 71 |
| 67 | May 10, '22 | I’ve lost all respect for them. | 1.3× | 0 | 98k | 5.5k | 420 |
| 68 | Jan 7, '20 | Welcome to the 300,000 new followers I acquired today. I promise you won’t like everything I say, but here’s a sexy photo. | 1.3× | 0 | 99k | 3.3k | 59 |
| 69 | Jan 13, '20 | Whether you believe that animals evolved over billions of years into the unconditionally beautiful beings they are today, or that God miraculously made them that way, if you hurt t | 1.3× | 0 | 88k | 9.9k | 86 |
| 70 | Jan 11, '20 | Not liking my tweets is hate speech. | 1.2× | 0 | 94k | 4.7k | 53 |
| 71 | Nov 2, '25 | Angry from Hampstead 😂 | 1.2× | 2.8M | 91k | 12k | 5.1k |
| 72 | Aug 5, '19 | The world began to crumble when feelings started overruling facts. | 1.2× | 0 | 71k | 15k | 348 |
| 73 | Oct 8, '20 | Quick update on the cat we’re fostering: She keeps getting on my lap and staring at me. We’re keeping her. | 1.2× | 0 | 94k | 2.1k | 74 |
| 74 | Jul 23, '20 | Cheers 🥂 | 1.2× | 0 | 85k | 4.8k | 64 |
| 75 | Dec 23, '19 | Twitter is like being able to read every toilet wall in the world. | 1.1× | 0 | 74k | 12k | 212 |
| 76 | Sep 20, '19 | 😂#AfterLife2 | 1.1× | 0 | 83k | 6.8k | 107 |
| 77 | Jun 30, '20 | I want to ban leaf blowers. Just fucking rake the leaves up, you lazy, noisy Cunt. | 1.1× | 0 | 83k | 4.6k | 117 |
| 78 | Aug 30, '21 | Twitter seems to be gangs of people trying to 'out-extreme' one another. Attempting to be fair and balanced these days, and trying to see 'both sides', simply means you're hated by | 1.1× | 0 | 75k | 8.4k | 485 |
| 79 | Oct 9, '22 | Fuck that 😂 | 1.1× | 0 | 73k | 8.2k | 915 |
| 80 | Oct 26, '21 | When I was really poor, I got so fed up having only T shirts and old sweat pants to wear, that I tried to make a suit out of curtains. Now I can afford to wear anything I want. So | 1.1× | 0 | 86k | 3.7k | 187 |
| 81 | Jul 7, '22 | Is there any greater honour than your hometown naming a garbage truck after you? 😂 | 1.1× | 0 | 90k | 2.1k | 151 |
| 82 | Jul 1, '19 | After studying science, philosophy, theology and socio economic history for many years, I have concluded that the big problem is that so many people are fucking stupid. | 1.1× | 0 | 70k | 11k | 176 |
| 83 | Nov 5, '22 | Fuck fireworks. Banal noise. Annoying and pointless and terrifies animals. Cunts. | 1.1× | 0 | 73k | 7.1k | 130 |
| 84 | Jan 23, '22 | I will never get over the reaction to #AfterLife and I'll probably never better it. Maybe I should retire. Or die. Yes. That's my cunning plan. Please use this photo on the news. T | 1.1× | 0 | 85k | 2.4k | 83 |
| 85 | Oct 20, '22 | And it wouldn't even be in the top 10 weirdest news stories of the year 😂 | 1.1× | 0 | 80k | 5.3k | 150 |
| 86 | Jan 12, '20 | Best fans in the world. A huge thank you to everyone who bought tickets. Life is hard for most people & although I remember what that was like, I now have an easy, privileged e | 1.1× | 0 | 74k | 7.8k | 170 |
| 87 | Aug 3, '19 | If you don't have empathy with animals, you don't have empathy. | 1.1× | 0 | 70k | 9.5k | 406 |
| 88 | Mar 4, '20 | Weird search | 1.0× | 0 | 75k | 7.9k | 187 |
| 89 | Oct 24, '19 | Beautiful, abused bear finally defends itself. | 1.0× | 0 | 70k | 9.5k | 109 |
| 90 | Sep 22, '19 | Happy #WorldRhinoDay. Fuck poachers, and fuck the people who pay them. If you think a rhino horn is medicine you are a stupid cunt. | 1.0× | 0 | 70k | 9.4k | 36 |
| 91 | Jul 17, '21 | I wish being stupid only punished the stupid. | 1.0× | 0 | 73k | 7.5k | 235 |
| 92 | Jul 22, '19 | Best Headline Ever. | 1.0× | 0 | 70k | 7.6k | 233 |
| 93 | Feb 18, '25 | One of my all time favourite news headlines 😂 | 1.0× | 2.3M | 112k | 12k | 2.3k |
| 94 | Oct 8, '20 | Here to stay ❤️ | 1.0× | 0 | 78k | 2.2k | 153 |
| 95 | Aug 9, '24 | Everyone has the right to believe anything they want. And everyone else has the right to believe that those beliefs are fucking ridiculous. Cheers. | 1.0× | 2.3M | 85k | 14k | 1.5k |
| 96 | Dec 10, '22 | Are all the officials French? | 1.0× | 0 | 75k | 3.6k | 139 |
| 97 | Jan 7, '20 | That's nothing. I darn my own socks and you should see the state of my fucking underpants. | 1.0× | 0 | 74k | 4.5k | 93 |
| 98 | Oct 13, '20 | Our first photo together. | 0.9× | 0 | 71k | 1.2k | 38 |
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