| 1 | Jan 2, '24 | Dear Aasshole: for the record, I’ve not met, flown with, visited, or had any contact whatsoever with Epstein, nor will you find my name on any “list” other than the clearly-phony n | 78.4× | 111.9M | 184k | 16k | 7.3k |
| 2 | Mar 6, '18 | Thanks, lowest rated President in HISTORY. | 14.9× | 0 | 507k | 135k | 262 |
| 3 | Feb 27, '17 | Hey @realDonaldTrump u up? | 14.5× | 0 | 402k | 174k | 17 |
| 4 | Oct 29, '19 | We mashed up @BarackObama’s Bin Laden speech with @RealDonaldTrump’s al-Baghdadi speech, and the results are amazing | 12.6× | 0 | 315k | 125k | 14k |
| 5 | Feb 27, '17 | @realDonaldTrump #Merylsayshi | 10.1× | 0 | 261k | 132k | 5 |
| 6 | Jan 26, '20 | So far 2020, you suck. | 10.0× | 0 | 340k | 89k | 668 |
| 7 | Nov 4, '20 | This is like being awake during your own surgery. | 8.8× | 0 | 363k | 46k | 739 |
| 8 | Nov 16, '17 | Tonight on #Kimmel Colin Farrell #SacredDeer, @PattonOswalt #Annihilation, music from Bishop Briggs @ThatGirlBishop #Dream & we make young girls cry with the most popular band | 7.6× | 0 | 241k | 80k | 12 |
| 9 | Sep 20, '17 | If you too are disappointed in Sen @BillCassidy #GrahamCassidy let them know it - call (202) 224-3121 | 4.5× | 0 | 104k | 59k | 4 |
| 10 | Mar 16, '20 | At the end of all this, let’s try to remember that the geniuses who told us not to worry about coronavirus are the same geniuses telling us not to worry about #climatechange | 4.3× | 0 | 160k | 33k | 395 |
| 11 | Jul 21, '17 | Billy is 3 months old & doing great. Thx for the love & support. Please remind your Congresspeople that every kid deserves the care he got | 3.7× | 0 | 150k | 20k | 1 |
| 12 | Apr 21, '23 | Did we make you mad, stretchypants? | 3.2× | 4.6M | 40k | 3.3k | 134 |
| 13 | Oct 3, '17 | There is more we can do, and we need to do it. Love to my hometown. #VegasStrong | 3.2× | 0 | 86k | 34k | 13 |
| 14 | Jan 26, '20 | He was great,charismatic & among the hardest-working athletes ever,but what impressed me most was how deeply-involved Kobe was with his 4 daughters. Pray for them, Vanessa, his | 3.1× | 0 | 141k | 12k | 218 |
| 15 | Nov 17, '20 | Trump is like a kid slowly realizing nobody’s coming to his birthday party. | 2.9× | 0 | 120k | 7.7k | 138 |
| 16 | Nov 16, '17 | We surprised #BTS super Moms and made their daughters super jealous... #BTSxJimmyKimmel #BTSArmy @BTS_twt | 2.8× | 0 | 71k | 38k | 7 |
| 17 | Nov 30, '17 | OK Roy, but I'm leaving my daughters at home! P.S. - wear that cute little leather vest | 2.8× | 0 | 106k | 19k | 1 |
| 18 | Nov 17, '20 | If Donald Trump gets any more embarrassing we’re gonna have to start calling him Don Jr. | 2.8× | 0 | 128k | 7.5k | 111 |
| 19 | Sep 22, '17 | Thank you @SenJohnMcCain for being a hero again and again and now AGAIN | 2.8× | 0 | 97k | 21k | 0 |
| 20 | Jan 21, '21 | Today we showed the world that there is no MyPillow large enough to smother our democracy. | 2.7× | 0 | 123k | 9.2k | 158 |
| 21 | Nov 30, '17 | @MooreSenate Sounds great Roy - let me know when you get some Christian values and I’ll be there! | 2.7× | 0 | 98k | 19k | 1 |
| 22 | Jun 11, '19 | thank you Jon Stewart, for making sure "never forget" isn't just a nice-sounding slogan | 2.7× | 0 | 106k | 16k | 630 |
| 23 | Nov 13, '20 | One reason Trump’s advisors are so worried he might not be able to win, is because he lost. | 2.6× | 0 | 121k | 7.9k | 141 |
| 24 | May 6, '20 | This is what it feels like when the "President" of the United States attacks you personally | 2.6× | 0 | 91k | 19k | 1.1k |
| 25 | Mar 16, '18 | hilarious. | 2.6× | 0 | 78k | 27k | 1k |
| 26 | May 5, '20 | I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than Donald Trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask factory while the song “Live and Let Die” blares in the background. | 2.6× | 0 | 87k | 20k | 771 |
| 27 | May 2, '17 | My wife and I welcome a new baby and it is quite a story... | 2.5× | 0 | 70k | 22k | 8 |
| 28 | Jan 22, '21 | It feels good to only have to worry about a deadly pandemic now. | 2.5× | 0 | 104k | 5.7k | 211 |
| 29 | Feb 19, '21 | You know your judgment is bad when this haircut is only the third worst decision you made this month. | 2.4× | 0 | 108k | 8.8k | 237 |
| 30 | Apr 6, '22 | Officer? I would like to report a joke. | 2.4× | 0 | 101k | 8.5k | 1.1k |
| 31 | Jan 12, '21 | I’m all for healing, but before we heal we need to make sure the surgery is finished. There’s a large cancerous tumor that still needs to be removed. | 2.4× | 0 | 100k | 11k | 181 |
| 32 | May 3, '15 | @jimmykimmel: Disappointing result but what a fight - thank you for making me your Bieber @MannyPacquiao - you are a champion | 2.4× | 0 | 50k | 38k | 2 |
| 33 | May 5, '20 | Happy Cinco de Mayo Mr. President! Thanks for the shout-out - now get back to work royally fucking everything up! | 2.4× | 0 | 100k | 9.8k | 142 |
| 34 | May 10, '20 | Go make Melania brunch. | 2.3× | 0 | 104k | 7.6k | 134 |
| 35 | Mar 2, '22 | View post on X | 2.2× | 0 | 88k | 11k | 351 |
| 36 | Feb 16, '18 | Yes @RealDonaldTrump, it is time to do something about school shootings... | 2.2× | 0 | 61k | 23k | 21 |
| 37 | Jun 14, '18 | 1) Call your reps at (202) 224-3121- tell them to END the separation of families at the border (ask your Senators to pass the Keep Families Together Act and your House Rep to pass | 2.1× | 0 | 59k | 24k | 248 |
| 38 | Jan 8, '21 | Trump Administration resignations are piling up. They did not see this coming. They’re Not-sees. | 2.1× | 0 | 92k | 7.4k | 220 |
| 39 | Apr 4, '23 | When all your dads end up in jail. | 2.0× | 2.9M | 42k | 3.9k | 147 |
| 40 | Nov 4, '20 | Trump shouldn’t be allowed to win a state unless he can find it on a map. | 2.0× | 0 | 83k | 8k | 92 |
| 41 | Nov 11, '20 | The Bachelorette had a more peaceful transition of power than the Presidency | 2.0× | 0 | 89k | 7.3k | 174 |
| 42 | Feb 15, '18 | The families in Parkland are suffering for no good reason. We send love, sympathy and prayers tonight and DEMAND that our "leaders" do SOMETHING to stop this tomorrow. How many hav | 1.9× | 0 | 71k | 15k | 0 |
| 43 | Dec 14, '20 | congratulations to @realDonaldTrump on his well deserved silver medal! | 1.9× | 0 | 89k | 3.7k | 83 |
| 44 | May 31, '17 | what makes me saddest is that I know I'll never write anything funnier than #covfefe | 1.9× | 0 | 70k | 15k | 1 |
| 45 | Feb 18, '18 | I hope the FBI finds and prosecutes the complete A-hole who hacked the President's account and tweeted this. | 1.9× | 0 | 72k | 12k | 2 |
| 46 | May 8, '20 | it would appear that @vp was joking about carrying empty boxes for a staged publicity stunt. The full video reveals that he was carrying full boxes for a staged publicity stunt. My | 1.8× | 0 | 56k | 9.6k | 348 |
| 47 | Apr 1, '18 | this is extremely dangerous to our democracy | 1.8× | 0 | 55k | 17k | 370 |
| 48 | Nov 10, '21 | For the same reason you’re great and Green Bay hasn’t won the Super Bowl in ten years | 1.8× | 0 | 69k | 8.6k | 331 |
| 49 | Nov 3, '20 | Whatever you do, no matter what anyone says - do NOT get out of line. Ever. Wherever you’re currently standing, that’s your new home. | 1.7× | 0 | 75k | 8k | 50 |
| 50 | May 2, '17 | sincere thanks for the outpouring of love & support - Dr. Jane is keeping a close ear on Billy, who is very well - XO | 1.7× | 0 | 73k | 7.2k | 3 |
| 51 | Apr 29, '18 | Dear "the media" - @michelleisawolf was FUNNY. Hire a juggler next year. | 1.7× | 0 | 66k | 8.9k | 16 |
| 52 | Sep 16, '24 | The results of last night’s #Emmys were TOTALLY UNFAIR in the category of LATE NIt SHOW!! Sad! RIGGED!! POLSS SAY I won!!! BY a LOT! @JonStewart @StephenAtHome @SethMeyers | 1.7× | 2.4M | 54k | 3.8k | 356 |
| 53 | Feb 13, '21 | feeling dumb - again - for hoping more of them would do the right thing | 1.6× | 0 | 71k | 5.2k | 66 |
| 54 | Nov 4, '20 | a man who hasn't even lost the election, claiming the election was stolen | 1.6× | 0 | 72k | 6.2k | 119 |
| 55 | Nov 5, '20 | If your election lasts more than 48 hours, seek medical attention | 1.6× | 0 | 75k | 4.8k | 137 |
| 56 | May 30, '20 | My thoughts on George Floyd, the riots in Minneapolis and @RealDonaldTrump's violent stupidity... #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd #ICantBreathe | 1.6× | 0 | 51k | 13k | 1.3k |
| 57 | Oct 30, '22 | it has been interesting, over the years, to watch you blossom from the electric car guy into a fully-formed piece of shit @elonmusk | 1.6× | 0 | 38k | 5k | 319 |
| 58 | Jan 12, '21 | Twitter was a way for us to know where Trump was, like when they put a bell on a cow. | 1.6× | 0 | 74k | 4.2k | 125 |
| 59 | Sep 14, '20 | introducing... the world's dumbest person! (at :51) | 1.6× | 0 | 57k | 8.2k | 854 |
| 60 | May 26, '22 | To my friends in Dallas who are asking: I do not know whether our @ABCNetwork affiliate @wfaa cut away from my monologue tonight intentionally or inadvertently but I will find out. | 1.6× | 0 | 49k | 13k | 1.4k |
| 61 | Apr 8, '18 | re. @seanhannity | 1.5× | 0 | 51k | 6.1k | 59 |
| 62 | Oct 6, '17 | Dear crazies: it is fascinating that 500 innocent people get shot and your anger is directed at me. Think about that | 1.5× | 0 | 44k | 11k | 1 |
| 63 | Sep 25, '17 | Thank you @SenatorCollins for putting people ahead of party. We are all in your debt. | 1.5× | 0 | 56k | 10k | 0 |
| 64 | Jun 24, '22 | Ready for birth control and same sex relationships to go away too? THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE TAKING OVER BECAUSE WE DON'T ACT!" Clarence Thomas WROTE that justices “should reconsider al | 1.5× | 0 | 51k | 8.1k | 200 |
| 65 | Apr 8, '22 | Thank you @SeanHannity. We see what you are doing and we appreciate it. #America | 1.5× | 0 | 39k | 13k | 1.9k |
| 66 | Apr 21, '18 | A yr ago today, God gave us this tough little boy. Today, we thank the nurses & doctors at @CedarsSinai & @ChildrensLA who saved his life & those who shared thoughts &a | 1.4× | 0 | 62k | 5.8k | 13 |
| 67 | Oct 7, '20 | The ideal plexiglass barrier for tonight's debate | 1.4× | 0 | 59k | 7.1k | 177 |
| 68 | Nov 3, '20 | How it started: How it's going: | 1.4× | 0 | 59k | 6.7k | 209 |
| 69 | Sep 26, '17 | Thanks to all who stood up and spoke out from this happy guy and his less-fortunate friends #GoodbyeGrahamCassidy | 1.4× | 0 | 59k | 7k | 0 |
| 70 | Apr 29, '21 | Finally, a reboot worth watching. | 1.4× | 0 | 61k | 5k | 214 |
| 71 | Jan 26, '18 | I am pleased to announce that the very gifted @StormyDaniels will be on #Kimmel Tuesday 1/30 after the #StateOfTheUnion. I have MANY QUESTIONS! #MAGA | 1.4× | 0 | 43k | 10k | 1 |
| 72 | Jan 3, '17 | twitter idea for 2017: find real things to be mad about. | 1.4× | 0 | 43k | 10k | 2 |
| 73 | Nov 4, '20 | I guess we’re waiting to find out if this is the end of Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers: Endgame. | 1.4× | 0 | 54k | 6.7k | 239 |
| 74 | Dec 14, '17 | Search all you want, you won't ever find it | 1.3× | 0 | 45k | 11k | 1 |
| 75 | Nov 7, '20 | How is it possible that Alaska hasn’t finished counting? Couldn’t they just ask for a show of mittens? | 1.3× | 0 | 63k | 2.3k | 70 |
| 76 | Apr 7, '18 | Dear @SeanHannity thx for the trip down Man Show memory lane. The idea that YOU'd call ANYONE a “pervert” while slobbering over Trump, Ailes, O’Reilly and, YES, Roy Moore – who you | 1.3× | 0 | 45k | 7.3k | 19 |
| 77 | Nov 12, '20 | It’s hard to believe that in just 75 years, we’ve gone from this… to this. | 1.3× | 0 | 55k | 5.1k | 214 |
| 78 | Jan 19, '21 | After four very long years it’s crazy to think that in just 18 hours Trump will be eating loaded potato skins poolside at Mar-a-Lago and Mike Pence will be off battling gays in spa | 1.2× | 0 | 54k | 3.5k | 107 |
| 79 | Nov 9, '18 | Really? 40% of us are OK with this? | 1.2× | 0 | 39k | 8.3k | 224 |
| 80 | Oct 21, '17 | Billy is 6 months old today. He's healthy, happy & we're very grateful for your prayers, wishes & support of @ChildrensLA & other hospitals | 1.2× | 0 | 55k | 2.6k | 0 |
| 81 | Nov 10, '18 | No respect is due. Thousands of AMERICANS evacuated from their homes, many burned to the ground and our "President" points his little finger in the wrong direction to settle scores | 1.2× | 0 | 46k | 7.4k | 30 |
| 82 | Feb 19, '18 | Is ANYONE going to stop whomever hacked the President’s twitter account and keeps tweeting these moronic things?? | 1.1× | 0 | 45k | 6.9k | 0 |
| 83 | Nov 7, '20 | This is a good day for the country we love. Congratulations to @JoeBiden & @KamalaHarris and thanks to the lifelong Republicans whose conscience would not permit this to go on. | 1.1× | 0 | 54k | 2.7k | 46 |
| 84 | Nov 20, '20 | I guess his father finally hugged him.... | 1.1× | 0 | 50k | 2.9k | 92 |
| 85 | Apr 7, '22 | NOTE to @RepMattGaetz - stay indoors. It's Girl Scout cookie season | 1.1× | 0 | 45k | 4.6k | 165 |
| 86 | Apr 21, '19 | Happy 2nd birthday to our little #Easter buddy Billy. We are grateful always to the nurses and doctors at @CedarsSinai & @ChildrensLA who saved his life and all of you who pray | 1.1× | 0 | 55k | 1.3k | 22 |
| 87 | Jun 3, '22 | Today we #WearOrange for the families who lost those they loved most to gun violence. The time to act is now. @Everytown | 1.1× | 0 | 38k | 4.2k | 60 |
| 88 | Mar 28, '22 | @ConanOBrien @jayduplass anytime you want to take it for a spin, it's yours | 1.1× | 0 | 54k | 839 | 75 |
| 89 | Nov 5, '20 | This race is closer than Donald and Ivanka at a father-daughter dance | 1.1× | 0 | 47k | 3.8k | 94 |
| 90 | Apr 20, '22 | They found the tanned ballsac Tucker Carlson was talking about. | 1.1× | 0 | 42k | 4.4k | 114 |
| 91 | Nov 7, '20 | What @RealDonaldTrump doesn’t get is that this isn’t a round of golf. You can’t just write down any score you want. | 1.1× | 0 | 49k | 2.8k | 69 |
| 92 | Oct 4, '21 | Facebook is down so asking this here: Which livestock medication should I take for a sinus infection? | 1.0× | 0 | 44k | 3.5k | 61 |
| 93 | Oct 27, '20 | Faith, I like your style | 1.0× | 0 | 43k | 4.9k | 508 |
| 94 | Dec 11, '22 | @elonmusk your pronouns are ass and hole | 1.0× | 0 | 41k | 2.7k | 161 |
| 95 | Mar 16, '20 | Will someone please tell Mike Pence that it isn't safe to kiss ass right now? | 1.0× | 0 | 44k | 3.6k | 53 |
| 96 | Nov 12, '18 | At age 7, I drew this weird portrait of Stan Lee and asked my Mom to send it to him. Thankfully she didn't because 30+ years later, I got to give it to the great one in person. Tha | 1.0× | 0 | 45k | 4k | 69 |
| 97 | Mar 19, '18 | Are you mad about something? I feel like you're mad about something. | 0.9× | 0 | 38k | 4.2k | 10 |
| 98 | Mar 28, '22 | I know the big story is the slap, but congratulations to @amyschumer @iamwandasykes & Regina Hall who were very funny - I hope that isn't overshadowed by the unpleasantness #Os | 0.9× | 0 | 41k | 1.4k | 68 |
| 99 | Feb 25, '19 | Starting to feel like I might not get asked back to host this year | 0.9× | 0 | 42k | 1.5k | 23 |
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