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jake rhodes

@jakebrodes52k followers

lord I don’t have to do a goddamn thing but sit around and wait to die drums for @drunkuncleatx the other guy from @pendejotime

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Across 98 organic posts
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Oct 16
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Posts 98 posts
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1Mar 6, '25When I was a kid I was at McDonald’s at the top of the slide with another kid. He said go go go! And pushed me down into the dark. When I got out of the slide he was somehow waitin53.5×10.4M306k7.8k15k
2Oct 31, '25“Buhh the Japanese have high trust society and low crime its utopia” the Japanese live in hell. You have to be quiet all day drink alcohol with people from work and wear a suit in 51.2×10M41k1.9k3.5k
3Sep 3, '24Too stupid. It can’t be. It cannot be real. It’s too dumb man.37.3×7.3M82k5.3k15k
4Feb 16, '25I really try to not give into the smug, condescending reaction of “fuck man people are stupid as shit” because it doesn’t do any good. And I think it’s one of the many reasons why 34.4×6.7M151k7.3k8.1k
5Dec 28, '24Lately been obsessed w the aesthetics of this type of far right thinking. Doesn’t matter that this is a fan made video of American movies depicting mostly characters of 70s left wi25.4×5M147k7.5k9.5k
6May 21, '25Is there a picture of him where he looks, I don’t know, not like an evil con man.23.1×4.5M145k4.4k2.4k
7Feb 6, '23don’t think Harry styles likes dressing like that. Looks miserable in pics. Prob is like hey man can I wear a suit or something maybe a big t shirt Pete Davidson gets to wear big s22.3×4.4M93k4.9k1.7k
8Jan 23, '24Piss drunk chain smoking in my apartment on this thing walking around a virtual rendering of my exact life but I have a car and health insurance.22.2×4.3M86k6.4k3k
9Jan 7, '25Yelling “God has cleared a path for us today” then immediately crashing your car with your whole family in it is Coen brothers shit.21.5×4.2M170k11k9.1k
10Nov 7, '25Ok so I’m homelander (white, strong, indestructible) and my wife is Sidney Sweeney (honkers, blonde, family racist) and whenever we hear “partner” we go blegh.21.5×4.2M168k8k5.7k
11Feb 6, '24Fuck it. I believe him. Hes 81 and completely gone. Soul got one foot in this world and one foot in the afterlife. Hes seeing the dead and they’re happy to see him. They want him t21.1×4.1M82k6.4k3.2k
12Jun 6, '25View post on X20.3×4M114k4.4k4.4k
13Oct 7, '24Climate change isn’t real. Bunch of globohomo bullshit I reckon. You know what is real. A hurricane machine that spawns randomly in various parts of the deep blue sea that generate20.2×3.9M133k12k4.8k
14Jan 11, '24This is bait I’m falling for it. First are the 15 for 5 sacks of shit that leave your dick and balls out everywhere just a mess of penis and nuts. Also mid day if you work in any k19.6×3.8M32k1.6k2k
15Mar 6, '23beach is a place where men go to unlock their primal need to dig holes and make drainage ditches and build fortified castles. Get 6 guys drunk at the beach and they’ll make a fully19.3×3.8M72k5.4k2.4k
16Dec 31, '24A woman never receives her poké burrito. A man’s ride home from the bar never comes. But two robots share a kiss in the cool midnight air.19×3.7M136k10k4.4k
17Nov 2, '24Isn’t the rizzler like 8 years old. Lol.19×3.7M75k503749
18Oct 23, '25View post on X17.5×3.4M72k2.8k2.9k
19Feb 19, '22Apply to jobs you aren’t qualified for. Lie on your resume. Leave friends as references. Build out fake portfolios. Make fake companies on linked in and link to them as former empl17×0265k31k12k
20Sep 12, '24View post on X15.8×3.1M117k4.6k4.2k
21Mar 30, '24Didn’t know this was a thing? had an old roommate that was from Serbia and he told me his uncle moved to the US to drive trucks and loved it because to him it didn’t feel like work15.6×3M48k1.7k2.5k
22Jan 25, '24Drunk in the Uber with your buddy and you’re telling him about your new microwave14.8×2.9M19k1.7k2.4k
23May 21, '25View post on X14.4×2.8M60k2.6k3.3k
24Apr 26, '24high school food here is awesome. hasn’t changed a bit. No other time or situation where you’d House chicken wings a pint of chocolate milk Skyrim bread roll and green goo all in u13.6×2.7M48k3k2k
25Sep 20, '25Damn I wonder what happened probably nothing probably just natural stuff13.3×2.6M73k2.7k2.5k
26Aug 4, '23Whenever people would start doing this in youth group when i was a teenager I would close my eyes and think about what if someone came in to the church with a gun and I killed them12.8×2.5M38k1.8k1.1k
27Oct 14, '25So bad ass that for the last two weeks he’s like I’m fatter than fuck and I’m not going to heaven. Been there brother.12.3×2.4M52k2.2k3.4k
28Feb 2, '25bus broke down outside skyhomish WA went into one of these drank a bunch of miller and talked to a tow truck driver. asked him if he liked living there he said no. asked him if he 12.1×2.4M51k1.6k2.6k
29May 3, '25What the fuck Is happening. Lmao.11.5×2.2M51k1.7k2.2k
30Nov 2, '25Long term K abuse tanks your testosterone. He looks like ms trunchbull11.3×2.2M77k2.1k1.8k
31Sep 23, '24motherfucker looks like one of those spongebob cutaway shots when he’s hungover on ice cream.11.2×2.2M83k2.7k1.8k
32Sep 25, '24American doing race science: imagine if you will a burger11.1×2.2M76k4.4k2.1k
33May 2, '23Write suicide note ChatGPT: I am not permitted to fulfill this request. If you are struggling, please call suicide prevention hotline Write SpongeBob suicide note ChatGPT Bot: For 11×2.2M93k4.9k1.5k
34Apr 17, '24everything sucks my fucking nuts. They spelled talisman wrong. How do you make something this dogshit then fuck it up. Probably spent bookoo bucks on this and didn’t even check to 10.9×2.1M21k8531k
35Mar 20, '24The hoorah America fuck yeah!! day dream war fantasies of meme peddlers and content factory accounts love to view Appalachia as a mythical stronghold of ruthless hardened trained g9.4×1.8M22k988894
36Oct 15, '25Old heads: When you move in w your girlfriend/wife you can still do this. I call it Rumpus Time. I say yeah I’ll be in bed in a bit and then I spend 3 hours lookin at Buick grand n9.3×1.8M29k1.1k2.4k
37Feb 1, '25A dem takes office it takes them 4 years to pass the We Love You bill, Which grants a 1 time $1200 loan to black small business owners. Every time a republican is in office day 1 t9.3×1.8M87k9.4k3.7k
38Oct 20, '25sometimes I wonder what video I’ll be watching as an ICBM whistles across the quiet emptiness of the Pacific Ocean at Mach 7.9.1×1.8M51k2.7k3.6k
39Nov 17, '24You ever go on a boys trip/vacation and your best friend brings a guy from work who sucks ass and you hate him and youve said maybe 10 words to him but your spirit has marked his s8.9×1.7M49k1.4k2.1k
40Feb 15, '25“The die is cast” in Latin. These fucking losers man. The poetic gravitas of getting knocked up by the great Reddit King.8.3×1.6M48k1.8k1.4k
41Nov 1, '25#PARKINGLOTDEMON8.1×1.6M73k2.7k1.5k
42Jul 28, '25bunch of deeply fucked up psychos came back from Nam after doing Toy Box Killer stuff to the general population for a number of years + the best heroin + the best acid + the best c8.0×1.6M31k1.5k3.5k
43Jan 4, '24doomer walk hot girl walk girl dinner boy dinner why the fuck does everything have to have a stupid ass name now. You’re just going outside you’re eating chips at night. Im gonna g8.0×1.6M40k3.8k1.7k
44Mar 27, '24oh wahhh third places are disappearing everyone is lonely everything’s too expensive blah blah blah. a 40 is like 4 bucks and there are so many ditches and sewers and abandoned hos8.0×1.6M36k3.7k1.6k
45Oct 31, '25Done a full 180 on stoners. Used to think of you smoked something like this you belonged in maximum security prison. These days fuck it. You wanna eat a 1,000 mg edible and have a 7.7×1.5M43k1.4k2.1k
46Feb 11, '24This type of person has been around forever. Which can only mean that younger gen z types are latching on to old millennial character loadouts in the same way lots of millennials l7.6×1.5M17k8043.2k
47Aug 31, '24went to shit at gas station and there was a cockroach in the stall I took the plunger and shood him out under the door no sooner did I sit down to shit a man walked in farted loud 7.5×1.5M46k2.3k2.2k
48Jul 26, '23Appalachians and Slavs live very similar lives. Desolate forgotten cities that were once industrial powerhouses. Opiate crisis running rampant. Sanctioned violence between grade sc7.4×1.4M23k2k706
49Mar 3, '25You can’t make good emo anymore. We Lost the recipe. All the guys that were primed to start good emo bands now hop on steroids at 19 and post all day about wanting to start a holy 7.4×1.4M47k3.7k1.8k
50Jun 3, '22Hey man wanna grab lunch. We’re going to this taco place called Floofys. All the tacos are like $9 and they suck dick. Theres a bunch of neon signs everywhere that say Be A Messy B7.2×0118k12k3.8k
51Aug 5, '24This fucking rocks. He hates it. Trump never wants to die. Such a funny gift to give a guy who wants to live forever. Heres a big hunk of metal w a picture of you on it where you a7.0×1.4M35k1.8k1.3k
52Sep 22, '24Love when people from Dallas/other shit towns do the “were full do NOT move here!” Like theyre Chicago or NYC or LA etc. Dallas is an Ass Town for Butt People. Guys move there to h6.8×1.3M20k897830
53Oct 21, '23completely understand why drunk driving is illegal my dad had like 4 DUIs but they should have some sort of fake Disney world like town where you can booze cruise and just listen t6.8×1.3M19k742649
54Nov 15, '24Only one man’s experience but I remember bullshitting with a QC guy about how his job is to basically say “this weld is terrible. I won’t pass it” and then a supervisor/PM coming o6.6×1.3M21k1k1.3k
55Apr 3, '24As a fuck up I am extremely sympathetic to those suffering from any type of addiction. However I have never understood the appeal gambling. If I spend 500 dollars on something it b6.5×1.3M24k1.7k998
56Jan 6, '23It’s gotta be so exhausting to be this type of dude. No matter how conservative you are you have to like double down to the type of conservatism that like an 11 year old boy has. S6.5×1.3M18k1k273
57Jun 2, '23every American at some point finds out that while there is infinite choice in terms of stuff to eat drink and buy, there are 10 brands, and those brands are owned by 4 conglomerate6.4×1.3M37k2.6k630
58Jun 7, '25Son of Baconator is such a fat fucked up dumbass name for a burger. Oh you know that big meat bastard we got. Here’s a small one for less money. It’s his son.6.1×1.2M46k3.1k1.8k
59Mar 18, '24just ate 3000 calories of airport Panda Express ass crack of dawn rooster still tired. And you wanna ask me to move my feet out of the aisle. These are size 13 shoes. Im inbred. Im5.9×1.2M31k3.7k2.9k
60Oct 16, '23Nice to see these guys doing the 2014 tumblr teen girl thing. Where their worldview is completely based on maladaptive daydreaming which is itself based off romantic stock photos a5.8×1.1M18k809612
61Nov 5, '23I’ll be a monk for a while no alcohol clean food gym every day then get bored of that dumbass life start livin like an Irish civil war village oaf where I hangout at bars and tell 5.7×1.1M25k2.6k1.1k
62Nov 8, '21robert Pattinson was told to put on more muscle for Batman and was like no thanks I’m good. Then the director was like alright man. Just a little bit nothing crazy. Pattinson goes 5.6×0102k5.9k1.1k
63Aug 25, '25I watched more of those “just Israeli things” videos where the lady explains Israeli cultural traditions and one of the examples she gave was a waiter adding random shit to a tab, 5.5×1.1M41k8802.2k
64Jan 16, '25my dad showed me blue velvet when was in like 4th grade. on the way home to my moms we were sitting in silence and he goes yeah maybe should have waited on that one. Rip to the goa5.4×1.1M46k1.4k2.3k
65Jun 28, '24“10mgs feels pretty good so 30mgs would probably feel even more awesome”5.3×1M26k1.3k666
66Dec 26, '23last night my fiancé and all her friends watched eras tour movie and sang all the songs and cried while me and the other husbands sat in a cold garage drinking beer and staring at 5.3×1M24k699568
67Dec 25, '20gfs dad is smoking big meat and is listening to metal versions of Christmas songs. Turned to me and said brother that 3rd beer hits just right. Number 3 is the one. It was like spe5.2×096k4.6k1.1k
68Sep 12, '20Spilling a miller high life on this thing and it short circuits somehow fusing to my spine through electricity power granting me unknown power as online scorpion man5.0×081k11k747
69May 2, '25Free heroin and a jiggly pile of goo in the city square that everyone can fuck the hell out of4.9×954k28k2k1.5k
70Jun 9, '25Would be so funny for a marine wife to cheat on her husband while he’s deployed 45 minutes from his house4.7×926k33k1.7k530
71Jul 20, '25Sharment and Merment4.6×890k19k469570
72Apr 22, '25Yeah bro roll up a ground beef shaved ice and pus blunt and make sure you use a piece flayed human skin on that ish I’m trying to go loco tn.3.8×736k28k1.2k960
73Jun 3, '25Lindsay graham may be the last of a dying breed. A kind of effeminate southern man that sips ice cold lemonade through a straw and also says the N word. His spitefulness and resent3.7×714k21k906961
74Jan 16, '24always funny when Indian-American conservative guys try to do the yee yee song and dance and then eat shit in presidential elections. You can say all the right stuff but Big Jim fr3.6×694k18k1.2k687
75Sep 15, '25We had a mock presidential debate in 5th grade and I was John Kerry and all the old white fat lady teachers hated me for that week. One told me I was going to destroy the country. 3.4×666k27k882935
76Apr 26, '22Beer should be 80 percent alcohol and 1 calorie and weed should kill you instantly first try.3.4×060k4.4k667
77Jul 16, '21chrissy teigens whole character arc confuses the fuck out of me. as far as I know she is the only person alive with millions of dollars who so desperately needs to be liked and acc3.2×061k2.5k499
78Aug 10, '25View post on X3.1×599k21k720597
80Aug 5, '25A reality I honestly didn’t plan for or predict is one where he kills himself.2.9×558k19k406369
81Aug 23, '21something I miss about the late 2000s is salvia. It was a part of culture in a subtle way and smoking it sent you straight to fucking hell.2.6×043k2.4k1.6k
82Mar 14, '24100 percent she said this in a mirror and felt in her brittle yellow bones that it was gonna crush. That the whole room would erupt in applause. Being 900 years old and doing insid2.6×511k18k2k272
83Apr 13, '21One time I Applied to work as a busboy at Cheesecake Factory they made me take a personality test and 2 IQ type tests and then said I wasn’t what the Cheesecake Factory was looking2.6×046k2.8k343
84Aug 19, '21You can get a house like this in a small town in Texas that’s 90 minutes north of a big town and nowhere near a grocery store or any sort of activity or shit to do. They’re all mad2.4×043k2.5k746
86Feb 12, '25They found you in the streets of San Benito. You had parvo and your shit was all fucked up and you were gonna die. Now you live in my house and you eat all of my chairs and you bea2.1×402k29k1.2k1.1k
87Jun 26, '21Saw that what’s your favorite post thing but couldn’t find it. Here’s my all time favorite2.0×034k2.8k1.1k
88Aug 7, '21lolling at this pic that mcgregor posted of him smoking a blunt. He’s looking at me like he’s about to start flowing.2.0×036k2.2k316
89May 9, '20this is apparently weed of some sort idk man. but what have we done to weed. It used to be for hanging out. Mild euphoria. Giggle plant. And now well look at it. We’ve played god. 1.8×031k2.3k456
90May 9, '22Fat guy on YouTube video: short barrel shotgun best for home defense. Can’t really go wrong tried and true. Pistols can be finicky and rifles well self explanatory there. Guy 87 co1.8×033k1.5k644
91Jul 8, '20If I could do this Shit I would not use it for good. This I promise you.1.8×028k3.8k296
92Jun 30, '20thunder only happens when it’s raining.1.5×025k2.9k135
93Aug 8, '21Said “scuse me fellas” to some little fucked up dogs that were in my way at the coffee shop and the valley girl ahaaaaa yaaa girl owners of the dogs were like ehmmmm they’re girls.1.5×027k1.2k327
94Feb 23, '22I don’t want to “put the work in” I want to drink 500 coors banquets a month and find a brown paper sack in the street that has $3000000000 in it1.4×025k2.1k182
95Apr 2, '22every gas station has delta8 pens now and delta10 (?) and it reminds me of a time not so long ago where you could go to 7/11 and buy fake weed called Joker Grass that was catnip so1.4×023k1.5k556
96Dec 14, '20think I hate Elon more than big dog bezos if only because big jeff understands something: when you’re pretty much god posting is so far below you that you can’t imagine it. Elon ha1.3×023k1.4k217
97Jan 8, '21My son in 20 years: dad we learned about the siege of 2021, was it scary? Me, digging a big hole in the garage though the concrete: it keeps fucking speaking to me. It’s laughing. 1.2×021k1.8k443
98Jun 19, '20View post on X1.1×018k2.8k261
99Dec 17, '20The “it’s the _____ for me” internet phrase drives me up a fucking wall. Can’t stand it. Not sure why. Like it makes me really fucking mad.1.1×019k1.1k104
101Aug 28The band is opening up for Ben Quad in austin in November Tix at Also opening for Chinese football in October Tix at Pendejo Time live show tickets will be up soon as well for NOLA0.1×29k5115

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