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Daniel Howell

@danielhowell6.7M followers

my life is a joke

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Oct 16
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Posts 100 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Oct 15, '25i’m sorry to announce that due to phil finishing the cereal and leaving the empty box in the cupboard we will be breaking up12.6×11.7M199k11k3.8k
2Jun 13, '19Basically I'm Gay4.2×0254k45k2.3k
3Nov 14, '25stalked an emo boy on twitter and he asked if i "wanted to film a q&a" in his bedroom3.9×3.7M106k7k3.4k
4Jun 14, '19what a great day to be gay3.9×0256k55k1k
5Jul 1, '25can those giant twinks get tf out of the way3.4×3.2M124k8.6k3.4k
7May 28, '20dear angry whites - people of colour asking for equality isn’t taking something from you ..they literally just want the same2.8×0191k41k570
8Jun 1, '20welcome to pride month and remember that queer rights wouldn’t exist at all without protests and riots2.7×0187k41k386
9Jun 15, '19my most appropriate yet inappropriate birthday cake yet2.2×0169k20k616
10Jul 29, '16finally @AmazingPhil exposed2.2×0111k44k343
11Mar 11, '20‘social distancing’ please i’ve been training for a pandemic my entire life introverts rise up we’re finally valid2.1×0143k31k804
12Jul 12, '19old town road remix ft. the aliens from area 512.1×0155k23k305
13Jun 13, '19i always wanted to upload this next video in the month of june ..it ended up taking an entire year longer than i thought but here we are again and now it is time2.0×0160k14k482
14Jul 6, '19dead inside but full of pride2.0×0144k24k548
15Jul 14, '20being separated from the people in my life this summer has really given me perspective and time to reflect on my relationships and now i truly appreciate i don’t need any of these 2.0×0155k18k829
16Dec 24, '18*throws baby jesus at you* seasons yeetings2.0×0130k31k504
17Jun 13, '20one year since coming out to the world i can say it was the best decision i’ve ever made. finally being honest with myself and accepted for who i am was a feeling of relief and fre2.0×0160k14k436
18Jun 27, '19so i was locked out of my account for a week which was either a mistake by twitter or direct intervention from the universe to make me get a life - either way it was homophobia1.9×0155k15k334
19Jun 22DAN AND PHIL - THE HARD LAUNCH WORLD TOUR TICKETS ON SALE FRIDAY 12PM LOCAL TIME1.9×1.8M24k4.2k1.4k
20Jun 28, '19as a fresh gay i’m looking forward to pride as a party and celebration where i can be myself without fear as an angry gay i’m looking forward to pride being an actually inclusive p1.8×0138k18k394
21Aug 30, '17soo excited for all these autumn things!! 🤗☕️🍂 • dark days like my soul • cold weather like my heart • leaves falling like my self esteem1.8×0100k37k15
22Jun 18, '21the box boys are now officially homeowning homosexuals1.8×0147k8.7k1.1k
23Jun 11, '20finally i get my dream birthday of being socially distant inside and all it took was a global catastrophe1.8×0147k11k431
24Jun 6, '20the concept of sex is one of j.k. rowling’s horcruxes don’t let her fool you1.7×0138k15k510
25Aug 11, '20shove an ice cube all the way up my ass1.7×0127k11k633
26Jun 30, '19this video makes so many important points! • in this world you never stop coming out • sometimes people need time to deprogram their prejudices • we can feel guilty for having a se1.7×0126k19k680
27Jan 30, '17happy birthday to @AmazingPhil you may be on the road to death but the light and warmth you bring to our lives is as everlasting as the sun1.7×090k31k288
28Aug 18, '19sat next to a seemingly lovely old lady at a lunch today and thought we really bonded but as i left she said ‘sorry but you need to have a firmer handshake or no one will respect y1.6×0133k12k376
29Dec 26, '17my family spent four hours lovingly making a cake and left it on the kitchen table but while we were playing mario kart our dog climbed on a chair and ate HALF THE ENTIRE CAKE and 1.6×0102k20k67
30Apr 26, '21i just think lesbians are neat1.5×0120k14k528
31Sep 4, '17the thrilling true domestic life of dan and phil1.5×0102k22k210
32Dec 12, '19👀mm🥴🤤yes daddy👨‍👨‍👦democracy 👨‍⚖️🥰fill me😵with the juice💦🍹of freedom🗽🎆 i 👀 can’t wait😤⏳to wrap 🐍 my hands✊🤲around that long🦒hard🗿pencil✏️ press 🌚 and leave📝❌a 1.5×0106k14k1.1k
33Jun 12, '16#LoveIsLove shows how amazing the internet can be to spread love and support instead of hate. you are beautiful love yourself and stay safe!1.5×076k34k21
34Jul 1, '19got more scented candles than meaningful relationships and it feels right1.5×0110k14k194
35Feb 5, '21i would like to formally apologise to @wilbursoot for being accused of looking like me - no one should have to go through something that horrible and upsetting1.4×0113k6.4k1.1k
36Sep 5, '19i ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight and the delivery rider asked if i was okay i mean what do you think robert1.4×0109k11k255
37Sep 9, '17eat the booty like1.3×086k19k60
38Jul 11, '19am i a joke to you?1.3×0105k9.8k277
39Jan 8, '18watch out world i’m a slippers guy now1.3×090k15k153
40Jun 11, '19thank you sincerely to everyone forcing me to confront my mortality on this day celebrating another orbit of our sun that i have remained alive for1.3×0106k8.1k275
41Jul 19, '19commit to the aesthetic even if you are dying in the middle of a desert1.3×0104k9.7k257
42Nov 23, '17i am thankful for memes giving me simple distraction from the endless torment of moment to moment existence1.3×080k23k16
43Nov 15, '17how do you say 'fuck yeah' in upside-down i need to tell australia how proud i am 🏳️‍🌈1.3×089k19k39
44Aug 27, '17same1.3×080k20k37
45Jan 14, '20i tried to take a break from this app as i find it stressful but the fear of missing out made me even more stressed so i guess we’re all trapped in this hellscape together forever1.3×0103k10k297
46Aug 1, '17there is no better version of yourself than when you're around a friend's parents and become the physical embodiment of politeness and grace1.3×085k20k23
47Aug 8, '19i literally peaked age five ∙ cute, poised, sassy ∙ infectious happiness ∙ big imagination and an open heart1.3×0108k8.2k1k
48Jun 11, '17i don't feel 26 but when you consider i have a 16 year old's body and the crushed soul of someone aged 36 it kinda makes sense1.3×084k17k20
49Jan 28, '20i don’t actually have a personality i’m just a sentient ball of playdoh that becomes whatever form is necessary to make someone like me1.3×092k15k623
50Mar 8, '21apparently this is controversial but you don’t get to decide whether someone is really having suicidal thoughts from issues they are suffering with silently just because you don’t 1.3×098k14k383
51May 18, '20i’m using this valuable time in isolation to reflect internally and grow as a person just kidding i’m trapped in thought loops about cringe things i did aged eleven and there’s no 1.3×097k13k294
52Dec 16, '20😳 haha it’s so sexy how you’re prioritising your mental health today 🤭1.3×0101k9.7k353
53Apr 19, '17an immigration officer laughed at my passport photo and asked if it was my 'tragic emo phase' ok let me into the country don't shame my past1.3×082k19k15
54Sep 25, '20among us? if pretending to do tasks while everyone else does the work and hiding in vents to avoid social interaction makes me an ‘imposter’ then pass me the knife i’m sus1.3×098k12k486
55Oct 1, '20sorry october but your regular spooky can’t compete with the waking nightmare that has been this year so far1.3×096k14k204
56Nov 8, '17i was comfortable with 140 characters y'know it was familiar like a hug that kept me safe and warm and i could always fill it up but now with 280 i feel scared and exposed like i'v1.2×085k18k2
57Nov 14, '19old man watching me duck to get off a bus in tokyo laughed and said ‘you are too tall for this you are like a big carrot’ guess i’m a roast carrot now1.2×0102k8.8k397
58Dec 31, '19to all my people stressed by new years as the passing of time forces you to think about your life and the future and now it’s the end of a decade which is literally a whole crisis:1.2×092k13k304
59Oct 5, '19fact: the most tiring and stressful human activity is trying to keep up a witty back and forth in the dm’s with someone you want to impress1.2×097k11k398
60Mar 26, '18HE FUXKUNG DID IT WHAT A LAD1.2×086k13k388
61Nov 7, '20PHEW LMAO1.2×0101k8.3k100
62Nov 18, '22quickly post things you’d never admit this will all be gone tomorrow i’m gay1.2×0105k4.4k610
63Oct 16, '19today marks ten years since the single most important and culturally impactful piece of art in human history happy birthday ‘hello internet’ i will never be allowed to forget you1.2×087k12k339
64May 23, '17manchester used to be my home so i'm devastated to hear what happened. thank you to the brave and tireless emergency services responding.1.2×081k18k11
65Aug 23, '19the widespread influence of ‘baby shark’ is harmful to the young generation due to it’s propagation of heteronormative family structure in this essay i will-1.2×090k11k263
66Aug 4, '21i hate men but i want them to touch me1.2×086k11k1.4k
67May 3, '20my mum decided to ‘try grooming the dog’ today and i don’t think he will ever trust a human again1.2×098k6.3k328
68Jan 30, '20shoutout to birthday boy @amazingphil who insidiously split his friends across five different social events for the next two weeks so he can have a separate cake each time ..may yo1.2×099k7.8k276
69May 8, '18men that turn up to the met gala wearing plain suits are really letting all humanity down if i got an invite i’d hit that theme hard and ride in on an armoured unicorn then throw o1.2×085k14k109
70Sep 11, '20gender conceal party - no explosions and raise a human unblemished by damaging societal pressures1.1×092k9.4k228
71Nov 6, '18me, a non-american reading all these posts today who can’t vote but due to the usa’s global cultural and political influence will be affected by these elections: ya’ll better fucki1.1×081k15k93
72Dec 13, '19if you're a young person that has gotten involved in politics for the first time - do not be disheartened. it’s not your fault the boomers are trying to doom us, our generation sta1.1×088k12k243
73May 9, '21can we just agree a single global date for mother’s day so we don’t shit with fear when we open this app several times a year1.1×0101k5.3k236
74Feb 19, '18watching the students in florida standing up and fighting for change despite what they've been through and all the politician/media bs is legitimately giving me hope for the future1.1×083k14k9
75Jun 23, '17ahh youtube branded water freshly harvested from the tears of your favourite creators1.1×081k13k10
76Sep 8, '19i agreed to spend two weeks with my family at a remote country house in france so i expect to either get killed by an axe murderer or we all go insane and murder each other wish me1.1×095k5.6k139
77Jun 14, '19special shoutout to my video’s artist @SWatercolour who expressed every moment of this story with perfect emotion - happy, sad and inappropriately funny. it was truly elevated than1.1×096k6.8k97
78Dec 25, '19merry christmas if you need me i’ll be peacefully disassociating to avoid talking to my family1.1×088k9.6k205
79Sep 24, '19greta will keep absorbing the salty tears of all the climate science deniers and grow exponentially until she is large and powerful enough to simply carry humanity to a new solar s1.1×085k12k174
80Aug 10, '18airport security just asked where my guardian is because apparently i look lost and under sixteen what do i do with this1.1×083k9.3k128
81Sep 27, '20🥺 do u think the trees are sad there aren’t as many people outside this year crunching on the autumn leaves they dropped for us 🥺1.1×089k7.8k253
82Jul 30, '19someone in a game just rode up to me on a dragon and said ‘are u danisnotonfire’ and my virtual escape from reality crumbled around me i am truly safe nowhere1.1×092k6.4k205
83Aug 28, '19i tried to meditate and fell asleep then had a nightmare how did i fuck up sitting with my eyes closed1.1×090k7.8k183
84May 14, '22even as an active homo i still can’t tell if people are gay or european1.1×092k6.4k702
85Sep 16, '19so many years being forced to learn foreign languages in school when really all you need to communicate in any country on earth are passable charades skills and literally no shame1.1×088k8.5k256
86Jun 17, '19about to attempt to change a lightbulb above my staircase so if this is my last tweet i regret everything1.1×090k5.5k81
87Apr 12, '21as life returns to normal post-pandemic can we please not pressure and guilt introverts or people with social anxiety to socialise if they say they just want to chill thanks1.1×083k10k351
88Apr 30, '19after watching that sonic the hedgehog trailer i would like to formally announce that i am no longer a furry1.1×083k8.2k196
89Nov 4, '20the fact so many people still voted for trump shows how badly the world needs real change - the status quo won’t cut it anymore and unless we present progressive politicians that a1.0×083k9.2k192
90Jun 18, '19someone said if i want to be fitter i should always take the stairs which i obviously don’t but now i associate all stairs with the feeling of guilt so that’s ruined for me1.0×086k6k78
91Jul 20, '20normalise awkward elbow bumps as an everyday greeting! down with the oppressive masculinity of hand shakes!1.0×088k6k149
92Apr 7, '21you ever just vibing and suddenly get anxiety about the idea of getting anxiety and ruin the vibe1.0×081k8.9k332
93Sep 3, '20people ask why i’m so calm and resilient in the face of chaos and where they can attain this superpower - but anyone can just by having a traumatic youth and normalising abuse to s1.0×081k7.7k495
94Sep 26, '18tried to call my grandma to wish her happy birthday and she goes “hello sorry darling i’m having my hair done can you call back in an hour” and just hangs up um1.0×083k6.6k85
95Aug 18, '19i didn’t forget the ipad1.0×082k6.1k206
96Nov 18, '22pray for the people that think if twitter dies they can just make their first tumblr account and be fine they are not psychologically prepared1.0×081k8.8k479
97Sep 7, '20nobody: a tree falling in a forest: can y’all hear me or what1.0×082k6.3k169
98Jul 25, '19if it keeps getting hotter like this world war three is just gonna be ‘people with air con’ vs ‘the sweaties’1.0×080k7.9k111
99Jan 30, '21there is a tall pale guy who has no chill being trapped in a lockdown with him has certainly been a thrill you are old af and from now it’s all downhill happy birthday to @amazingp1.0×085k5.4k267
100Jan 22, '21genuinely worried i’ve forgotten how to casually hug friends as a greeting and when i finally see someone i’ll just panic and chokeslam them1.0×082k6.7k253
101Dec 21, '20fun fact: today is the shortest day of the year and this year is the longest goddamn year of all time1.0×082k6.1k177

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