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John Cleese

@JohnCleese5.1M followers

Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer

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Oct 17
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Posts 99 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Dec 27, '22Can anyone ( including BBC employees ) tell me why the BBC has not shown Monty Python for a couple of decades ?25.1×19.6M95k6.9k389
2Sep 4, '25I see that it took five London policemen to arrest a comedian Meanwhile, people in Chelsea have learned not to waste their time reporting burglaries Is this an intelligent use of r25.1×19.6M79k9.6k1.2k
3Dec 21, '22No complaints about this scene for 45 years But they will start any time next week16.2×12.6M57k6.2k2.5k
4Jun 12, '20Hard to tell if I recorded this 30 years or 10 minutes ago...11.7×0174k63k8.2k
5Feb 20, '23I must apologise I had no idea that the idea of writing a new sitcom with my daughter would cause so much anger and distress I truly meant no harm. Naively I thought it might be fu8.2×6.4M33k1.2k260
6Sep 9, '24Good bye, Twitter And thanks for dinner, Elon7.2×5.6M40k2.3k1.1k
7Oct 11, '25This is insanity6.9×5.4M107k19k2.8k
8Sep 2, '24I see the MAGA people are keen to discuss where Kamala Harris was born I'd be curious to know what part of Germany the Trumps come from, and why they thought it necessary to change6.3×4.9M76k9.7k1.1k
9Jan 22, '20Just heard about Terry J It feels strange that a man of so many talents and such endless enthusiasm, should have faded so gently away... Of his many achievements, for me the greate5.5×0118k17k265
10Jan 12, '21With the benefit of hindsight, would you say that the Nuremberg Trials were divisive ?5.3×0112k19k583
11Nov 15, '20View post on X5.3×0109k19k600
12Jan 14, '23I think the history of slavery throughout the world, should be taught - all five millenia of it And there should be a special focus on where it still exists5.0×3.9M31k3.6k204
13Dec 11, '19Can this be right ? If a Democrat is President, lying about a blow-job is grounds for impeachment If a Republican is President, betraying his country's defence policy again Russia.4.6×091k17k279
14Sep 8, '19Nice moment at the theatre in Innsbruck last night... Just before I went on, I asked a stage manager " Will this audience know me better from Monty Python or Fawlty Towers ? " He r4.5×0108k8.6k173
15Aug 18, '23I read that 71% of Republicans believe that Trump did nothing wrong Years ago, whenever I entered the USA, I had to sign a declaration that I was not intending to overthrow the Ame4.3×3.3M49k6.2k245
16Jun 5, '15Piers Morgan writes that I didn't recognise him in a restaurant in New York.I did.I just didn't want to speak to someone I truly detest4.3×055k34k4
17Sep 2, '24I think you'll find that half of America never 'got' Monty Python4.2×3.3M52k3.1k513
18Feb 28, '23This is true. not just of the USA, but of the UK and Australia too3.7×2.9M34k5.4k113
19Jul 8, '18Yes I've heard this word. I think sociopaths use it in an attempt to discredit the notion of empathy3.7×073k16k199
20Oct 28, '25Truly awful people3.5×2.8M98k9k1.7k
21Jan 25, '25There is what was called a Twitterspat between Hugh Grant and Piers Morgan It clearly illustrates the difference between a well-educated mind and a lazy, sloppy tabloid one NB: The3.3×2.6M40k4.4k538
22Dec 21, '22Every new piece of information about Donald Trump confirms that he behaves exactly like a mafia boss Why does this make him such a hero for Evangelicals ? Are they missing the poin3.2×2.5M38k4.5k110
23Dec 14, '20I think it's an encouraging sign that the next First lady will be a Ph.D with two masters degrees, rather than a model It says a lot about their husbands, too3.1×070k4.8k145
24Mar 1, '23She is the perfect example of someone who is not intelligent enough to realise that she's not very intelligent Hence her enormous self-confidence Sadly, her supporters are even les3.0×2.4M22k2.7k112
25Sep 3, '24Trump gave a speech at Potterville, Michigan on Thursday A transcript of part of it is on MSNBC It shows beyond doubt that he has lost his mind Please go to MSNBC and read it3.0×2.3M23k3.1k627
26Sep 19, '23Does this baby deserve a grant from the Ministry of Silly Walks? I certainly see some excellent form! 🎩 Repost • @sverigesroligastebarn @angelinavarback #sillywalks #montypython3.0×2.3M36k2.8k323
27Jan 20, '23Sad news One of our Maine Coons died yesterday One minute Frankie was lying on his side, purring. The next minute, not purring And not breathing …Out of the blue… Something to do w2.9×2.3M50k89880
28May 12, '22In case you haven't seen it yet... Ricky Gervaise was asked what he thought of Piers Morgan inteviewing the Taleban He said " I've lost all respect for them "2.8×069k5.2k338
29Dec 1, '17So, here is the News this morning. The Leader of the Free World is now completely unhinged, but we can't do anything at all about it because he has rock solid support from racists,2.7×043k17k0
30Mar 23, '23Always look on the bright side of life. Thank you to everyone who sent me this lovely performance by the MozArt Group. #MontyPython2.7×2.1M25k4.8k1.3k
31Oct 5, '24Remembering a dear friend, the always late Graham Chapman. He ceased to be 35 years ago today.2.5×2M36k4.9k3.3k
32Apr 13, '21Not wishing to be left behind by Hank Azaria, I would like to apologise on behalf on Monty Python for all the many sketches we did making fun of white English people We're sorry fo2.5×051k7.5k214
33Feb 3, '18One should never forget the first principle of the old KGB " Always accuse your enemy of exactly what you are doing "2.4×038k15k18
34Sep 22, '18I try not to brag too much, but I have just heard wonderful news ! I made a speech recently at the Banqueting House in Westminster Since then, the organisers have received a number2.3×053k5.7k32
35Sep 17, '25He's in his own world Unfortunately we're in his2.3×1.8M62k7.8k1.5k
36Jun 14, '24I'd have guessed that the six Catholics on the Supreme Court would have wanted to make murder more difficult2.2×1.7M24k5.3k246
37Mar 22, '20I'm not advocating uncontrolled panicking. If you panic for more than a couple of hours, you will exhaust yourself and you may well not have to energy to panic later, when you real2.2×046k7.5k179
38Mar 25, '20It strikes me that it's terribly funny that the response of some Americans to a virus is to buy guns2.2×044k4.8k85
39Sep 20, '20The single most depressing thing about Trump supporters is that a lot of them are evangelicals The idea that Christ might approve of this vile, sleazy, pride-filled and rudderless 2.2×042k7.5k179
40Nov 13, '24The only US president who has never read a book is closing down the Education Department ? Yeah, that figures...2.1×1.7M46k6.4k489
41Sep 19, '2045 years later and I still haven't hung up the picture. Fawlty Towers premiered on this day in 1975. What was your favourite line?2.1×041k4.7k456
42Sep 5, '22Amazon offered my wife a book they thought she 'might be interested in' It was my autobiography2.1×054k2.2k151
43May 29, '19Some years ago I opined that London was not really an English city any more Since then, virtually all my friends from abroad have confirmed my observation So there must be some tru2.1×029k5.9k193
44Sep 22, '20Is there no honorable male Republican ?2.0×037k4.2k47
45Mar 19, '23I wonder how they got there… #montypython2.0×1.6M25k2.4k152
46Jun 12, '20The BBC's website refers to my 'fury' I think my comments were quite measured and moderate So why would the BBC refer to them as my 'fury' ? Because it will get them a few more 'cl1.9×042k5.8k94
47Jun 21, '20Happy Father's Day! How are you celebrating? I'm rewriting my will! #FathersDay1.9×047k3.7k141
48Apr 24, '20I would like to announce that President Trump has gone mad ( That's 'mad' in the English sense, as in 'King George III went mad, walked up to a tree in Richmond Park, and addressed1.9×039k6.3k99
49Oct 27, '21If the judge in the Rittenhouse case doesn't like the word 'victim', perhaps the phrase 'unarmed person shot to death' might do the trick1.9×040k5.9k87
50Jul 22, '23I think that, in general, it's not a good idea to allow people with no sense of humour to determine what may be enjoyed by people with a sense of humour1.8×1.4M27k3.2k139
51Jun 12, '20I'm very confused about toppling statues... The Greeks, whose civilisation has long been admired in the West, believed that in the Ancient World, a cultured society was only possib1.8×031k6.1k290
52Sep 7, '20I sense some people feel that all cultures are morally equal Call me old-fashioned,, but I believe that a 'culture' that allows female genital mutilation is inferior to those that 1.8×039k5.1k184
53Sep 3, '24You used to have a slogan 'No taxation without representation' I've been paying tax here since 1964, and I'm not allowed to vote So this is how I represent myself1.8×1.4M27k2.1k174
54Oct 19, '25It's extraordinary to realise that we cannot trust a single word that this man says1.8×1.4M46k5.5k965
55Jun 14, '24There's no need to be this frightened of tourists1.7×1.3M32k7.7k374
56Nov 9, '19Boris Johnson's refusal to publish the report on Russian infiltration is beyond disgraceful If he suppresses it, it is clearly because it reflects badly on his party, and will affe1.7×028k9.7k33
57Aug 19, '24“Life of Brian” premiered 45 years and 1 day ago. Here we are filming it in Tunisia.1.7×1.3M24k2.3k748
58Jun 2, '24I thought my American Twits would like to see this headline in a high-circulation British newspaper1.6×1.3M33k7.5k287
59Sep 13, '22Interesting that the British Empire abolished slavery 32 years before the United States did1.6×031k3.3k282
60Jul 30, '24Anyone surprised that Elon Musk is throwing his weight behind the Weirdo party ?1.6×1.3M27k3.1k132
61Sep 9, '22I met the Queen once, and managed to resist a strong impulse to say 'I’ve seen you on the stamps’ I feel sad, especially when I think how lonely it must have been for her without P1.6×042k1.9k152
62May 30, '19I think it's legitimate to prefer one culture to another For example, I prefer cultures that do not tolerate female genital mutilation. Will this will be considered racist by all t1.6×029k6.3k125
63Jun 8, '20Had a minor operation on Friday A surgeon cut a small cancerous bit out of my leg Very minor. At my age this sort of thing happens about once a week He did a beautiful job, sewed i1.6×041k1.6k49
64Dec 25, '17Dear Twits I wish you all a Happy Christ's Birthday Anniversary, regardless of your culture, class, religious orientation, sexual preference, or race, provided only that you don't 1.5×030k6.8k0
65May 11, '201 of 2) 51 years ago today we met and formed @montypython If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my original plan to graduate and become a chartered ac1.5×035k3.6k159
66Feb 9, '22I'm beginning to think that in parts of America bad manners are increasingly being viewed as a sign of authenticity1.5×035k2.9k173
67Oct 29, '21When I used to visit the USA in the 60s and 70s, I has to sign a statement that I was not intending to overthrow the American Government by force I never realised that this only ap1.5×032k5.2k122
68Nov 10, '21I was looking forward to talking to students at the Cambridge Union this Friday, but I hear that someone there has been blacklisted for doing an impersonation of Hitler I regret th1.4×031k3.5k162
69Oct 25, '25Why on earth is this not being reported properly in the West ?1.4×1.1M29k7.7k903
70Jun 12, '20Similarly, the Romans enslaved the British for 400 years. So are we due reparations from the Italians ? And Sir Isaac Newton was a shareholder in the South Sea Company, which inclu1.4×026k5.3k266
71Oct 11, '25.1.4×1.1M29k8k224
72Apr 21, '20Sadly, those of you who need to hear this the most are too stupid to realize I'm talking directly to you. #johncleese #stupid #people1.3×022k5.8k676
73Nov 19, '24I read that many of the people who voted for Trump have explained that their decision was a 'no-brainer' I admit I had been wondering....1.3×1M26k3k263
74Nov 14, '17I see Fox News is doing its best to defend Moore,by discrediting women who are coming forward with allegations of disgusting sexual behaviour. I was expecting the Fox people to do 1.3×025k6.2k0
75Apr 15, '20I've been puzzling over this... Imagine there's a huge meteor hurtling through space towards planet Earth...whom will Trump blame ?1.3×023k2.9k34
76Apr 12, '20I wish you all a happy and healthy Easter, but I urge you beware the Easter Bunny. It's not just a harmless little wee bunny now is it? #easter #johncleese #killerbunny #montypytho1.2×025k4.7k94
77Oct 15, '25Well done Ozzies !1.2×975k38k5k428
78Jul 3, '23I keep reading that film studios are contemplating replacing writers and actors by using Artificial Intelligence to mimic their talents Surely it would be easier and more efficient1.2×956k22k3.2k87
79Oct 19, '25Russia is our enemy and Trump is on their side1.2×945k33k6.4k276
80Aug 18, '22I see that Trump is feeling persecuted I think he may mean prosecuted People who have committed lots of crimes and are being prosecuted for them often feel persecuted It a nasty fe1.2×025k3.1k59
81Sep 17, '20Well look at that! Still influencing the younger generations and species. @FAWLTYTOWERS_ @montypython #sillywalk1.2×025k3.8k204
82Dec 28, '18Congratulation to dear Michael Pallin on his Knighthood !!! Sir Mickey ! He'll have to go 'Ni' for the rest of his life now And to his good lady wife Lady Helen, who has stood by h1.2×027k2.8k16
83Jun 22, '20I'm told by my friends in the UK that the BBC is definitely running out of content Some years ago I was involved in a programme called Monty Python's Flying Circus, which the BBC h1.2×026k2.5k31
84Apr 3, '20You are all so old! 45 years ago today we brought you a fairly exciting, low budget adventure. What was your favorite moment? #johncleese #montypython #holygrail1.1×022k2.6k117
85Sep 29, '25Is it fair to say that if the Epstein files completely exonerated Trump, they would have been released a long time ago ?1.1×891k43k5.4k267
86Dec 21, '18So...we have an ignorant, ego-obsessed, impetuous, vengeful child in charge of the "Free World" and nobody can do anything about it, because 40% of Americans think he's a hero Happ1.1×021k4.5k19
87Nov 28, '21I must report a microaggression Since I first visited the United States in 1964, most Americans pronounce my name as though it rhymes with 'fleece' The correct pronunciation is to 1.1×024k1.6k100
88Oct 31, '20Saddened by the news of the passing of Sir Sean Connery. A wonderful man who I had the pleasure of working with in Time Bandits. We crossed paths many times over the years. Such im1.0×026k2.2k46
89Aug 6, '24I see the MAGA weirdos are already attacking Tim Walz for suggesting that convicted felons should be allowed to vote Surely that's pretty much the same as allowing them to run for 1.0×812k37k7.6k254
90Oct 10, '20Clinically obese, clinically sick, and clinically insane1.0×023k2.5k29
91Mar 24, '20I heard from Eric this morning He points out that this is not a good time to die, as noone would come to your funeral So Jonesy was cleverer than we thought1.0×025k2.1k42
92Jan 26, '22So Fox News is on Russia's side in the conflict with Ukraine Not surprising really ; Rupert Murdoch isn't a big fan of democracy1.0×020k3.6k71
93Apr 16, '24I am puzzled Some days ago I saw a part of a very recent Trump speech, when he rambled on about Cary Grant in a swimsuit Then I saw him wittering on about Gettysburg, without utter1.0×782k29k5.5k146
94Aug 4, '24I confidently forecast that Trump and his followers will get weirder and weirder the more that they panic And panic they should, because what's happening is not the end of the worl1.0×770k28k4.8k196
95Feb 9, '19MSNBC just gave a precise explanation of Trump's thinking: 'He views The Rule of Law as presidential harassment' To comprehend this, remember Trump's life is built on the premise t1.0×019k4.3k41
96Mar 11, '20Seeing Weinstein's sentence today reminds me of the story of the judge who sentences an old man to 20 years in jail The old man says " I shall die before I get out " The judge says1.0×021k3.3k74
97Jul 17, '22“A Fish Called Wanda” premiered 34 years ago…have you seen it y-y-yet? 🐠 #80s #comedy1.0×022k1.1k43
98Oct 24, '25This brought tears to my eyes0.9×741k28k4.4k525
99Jun 8, '20Happy Monday to all the internet trolls! This old man still has his swing and is ready to give you a damn good thrashing! #MondayMotivation #SpreadLove #nothate0.9×022k1.4k33

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