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Jim Gaffigan

@JimGaffigan2.6M followers

Male Model. “Live from Old Forester: The Bourbon Set”

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20k
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Oct 16
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Posts 100 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Sep 11, '24I post this every year on 9-11. No words. #remebering91138×9.6M212k23k7.6k
2Oct 30, '23Does anyone else feel the need to call all their Jewish friends and say, “Okay, you weren’t being paranoid.”?37.8×9.6M24k2.9k545
3Sep 11, '20I’ve gotten tons of messages “I’m losing fans” by expressing my dissatisfaction with our corrupt, incompetent President. While I appreciate people encouraging me to choose fame and25.7×0333k31k542
4Aug 28, '20I dont give a fuck if anyone thinks this is virtue signaling or whatever. We need to wake up. We need to call trump the con man and thief that he is.19.8×0250k27k454
5Aug 28, '20to those of you who think Im destroying my career wake up. if trump gets elected, the economy will never come back.15×0195k16k361
6Aug 28, '20Trump literally ran Paul Ryan out of politics. Why? Paul Ryan knew Trump was poison. So does Romney. Trump is not a conservative or even a Republican. You know that. You know Barr 12.3×0151k20k346
7Jan 17, '22They should bundle all the streaming services together and call it cable.10.7×0147k11k454
8Aug 30, '20Whoever runs the Russian/Trump bots (same office right?) Please tell them they aren't working. Maybe direct bots at voters that are undecided. Also I appreciate you bigots tweeting10.7×0147k9.6k118
9Jan 7, '21I never know what to wear the day after an attempted coup.10.2×0143k8.8k216
10Aug 29, '20I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has expressed support about my tweets. I know the bots & trolls can be scary but the truth requires direct sunlight. I regret nothing.9.6×0134k5.9k109
11Jun 10, '20Expecting equal justice and being against police brutality is NOT “being political”. It’s called basic empathy. I’m sorry if my opinions on these things are “too radical” for a cou8.2×0105k13k227
12Aug 28, '20You know Trump just creates enemies. You know you can't trust him. You know he been incompetent during this crisis. You know all those people didn't need to die. Trump talks about 8.1×0104k13k186
13Sep 1, '20Can you imagine if a President bizarrely claimed a highly contagious virus would “just disappear” like 30 times over 6 months and then the virus DIDN’T just disappear? Nobody in th7.9×091k16k209
14Aug 28, '20I know you hate snobs and elites I get it but look at Ivana and that douche bag Jerod. Think they are on your side? Do you think they've ever done a real days work in their lives. 7.3×099k8.4k123
15Aug 28, '20Fuck Lou Holtz. Biden is Catholic in name only? Compared to who? How many abortions did trump pay for? How many women has he raped? How many times did pull the shit he did in Ukrai7.1×088k10k176
16Aug 28, '20Look Trumpers I get it. As a kid I was a cubs fan and I know you stick by your team no matter what but he's a traitor and a con man who doesn't care about you. Deep down you know i6.5×079k10k214
17Aug 28, '20Trump derangement syndrome is part of the con. Wake up. you know Fox News is biased and full of loons. it's how they gaslight and silence criticism. Do you think any of those congr6.3×083k8.2k151
18Aug 28, '20Heading to bed but remember - If you want to sound crazy please tell me about THE DEEP STATE. - To sound stupid please be against CANCEL CULTURE but then accuse anyone with an opin6.2×077k7.8k215
19Sep 30, '20Somehow Trump is getting 3rd place in this 2 person debate. #Debates2020 #debates5.6×072k8.6k66
20Aug 28, '20excuse me while I treat myself to confronting some asshole trolls...5.3×079k2.5k57
21Aug 28, '20Remember everything Trump accuses the Democrats of he's guilt of. Dont let the socialist name calling distract you from the fact he is a fascist who has no belief in law.5.3×066k6.9k119
22Sep 30, '20An interesting theory of why Trump doesn’t denounce white supremacy is he a racist pig and nobody with any sense of decency should support or vote for him. #Debate2020 ##debates I’5.1×062k9.6k78
23Dec 19, '19Help me here. I'm being sincere. This is STILL your guy? Forget the news source. Forget that this part of a pattern. Forget the lies & the bluster. Forget the impeachment stuff5.1×059k9.8k215
24Aug 28, '20Trump budding up with dictators is RADICAL. Trump having interfering with the justice department is RADICAL. Trump pandering to the police and army (I gave 3 raises) is RADICAL.5.1×068k6.4k113
25Jan 21, '17I can’t believe every woman I know is marching in the streets and CNN is showing Trump pretending to believe in God. #WomensMarch4.8×046k15k0
26Aug 28, '20Please dont buy that socialist crap either. Obviously Obama wasn't a socialist. This is all lies to scare you and you know it. Biden is not radical. Are you serious?4.2×057k4.9k70
27Jan 8, '21Can you wear white to the second impeachment?4.2×058k3.5k64
28Oct 8, '20I hate when celebrities encourage people to vote. It’s WAY more annoying than… The mishandling of a pandemic Disrespecting our Military Widespread Corruption Putting kids in cages 3.9×049k6.2k121
29Aug 28, '20What bravery from the cowards who are against equal justice. Wake up. Don't you know history will make you the fool.3.9×055k3.6k51
30Oct 19, '24Still processing Thursday night at the Al Smith Memorial Dinner. Such a fun bizarre night. I’m so glad I could share it with family and friends. Thanks for all the nice comments. B3.9×985k25k845337
31Aug 28, '20RIP Truth3.6×052k3.1k49
32Sep 17, '20Is anyone going to tell us when we are supposed to switch from shorts to sweatpants or do we just decide on our own?3.4×046k2.8k55
33Jul 11, '20Can tomorrow be November?3.3×044k4k36
34Nov 22, '20I'm old enough to remember the very first Georgia recount.3.2×047k2k39
35Jul 18, '17Everyone is overreacting to the Trump & Putin private meeting. Relax. It might have been Trump's performance review.3.2×033k8.9k0
36Jan 27, '21Nothing says “democracy” like protecting a narcissistic tyrant because if you don’t, his supporters will break in your house and beat you & your family to death.3.1×037k6.2k126
37Aug 31, '20I wrote about what I learned from my Thursday Night Twitter rant on RNC/Trump. It’s too long for here so I put it on my Facebook.3.0×035k3.5k605
38Sep 29, '24Such an incredible ride. SNL week 12.9×740k18k866278
39Jan 7, '21I hate when a show introduces a new villain at the end of the final season. This Josh Hawley has blood on his hands and everyone should know. He is a liar, an opportunist and used 2.9×036k4.2k141
40Sep 10, '20Don’t believe the lies!!!! The mishandling of the coronavirus is OBVIOUSLY BOB WOODWARD’s fault!!!2.8×039k2.4k34
41Aug 31, '20This2.8×034k4.9k258
42Aug 28, '20You know he lies. Constantly. Yet you dont care? What because he insults people that make you and me feel dumb?2.7×040k2.3k43
43Aug 28, '20can we stop with this HOLLYWOOD shit. I'm not from Hollywood and Hollywood is just a town. Please say coastal elites (which Trump, Jared and Ivana are) Maybe people on the east and2.7×039k2.5k63
44Aug 28, '20By the way you can't be against Cancel Culture and tell people to stay out of politics. You know that time you did a job and didn't get paid? That's trump and you know it.2.6×038k2.3k37
45Oct 8, '20How about at future debates if a participant doesn’t answer a question the moderator could press a button that makes them fall into a pool of water. #Debates20202.6×035k2.2k19
46Aug 25, '21I’ve only been told I look like this cat by 4 people. Come on Twitter2.6×035k2k373
47Jan 24, '20Feel free to tell me to stick to comedy but first watch this. Thanks.2.5×031k3.3k808
49Jan 21, '21It’s like the country took the best probiotic ever.2.2×032k1.7k37
50Jan 10, '21The lottery keeps censoring me by not letting me win!2.2×032k2k34
51Feb 13, '21I can’t wait to find out which Republican Senators care more about being primaried than their country, democracy, their children, their grandchildren, the truth, decency or their o2.2×028k3.4k36
52Jul 17, '20I can't believe it's still March.2.2×029k2.8k30
53Oct 3, '20This tweet captures the chaos of this week.2.1×029k2.5k33
54Jan 15, '21It’s not easy to be a Christian in America today but luckily there are people like Franklin Graham to make it virtually impossible.2.0×025k3k118
55Aug 30, '20Thanks to everyone who came to my show tonight in Philadelphia. It felt good to get on stage. Amazingly there was no violence given it’s one of those dangerous Democratic run citie2.0×029k1.3k21
56Jan 5, '22Is it just me or does it seem like the strategy of kindly asking the people who helped Trump plan the insurrection to just admit everything they did to the @January6thCmte is not w1.9×024k2.1k42
57Jan 26, '21I heard the pandemic just got picked up for another season.1.9×025k2.1k37
58Jan 22, '21I realize the crazy conspiracy theorists make great podcast guests, but can we not have them in the US government? It kind of backfired like two weeks ago.1.8×024k1.9k55
59Sep 30, '21There should be a name for the short period of enjoyment you experience after you eat something unhealthy but right before you feel nauseous and spin into a pool of regret. Suggest1.8×022k97987
60Oct 17, '20Now I’m kind of regretting my mail in ballot! #jush1.8×023k2.3k177
61Jan 8, '21This is the point in the horror film when everyone thinks the killer is dead. He's not!! Please @SpeakerPelosi #ImpeachTrumpAgainNOW #25thPleaseASAP @jack block him. Please Republi1.8×021k3.1k65
62Nov 21, '20Thank you health care workers!1.7×025k1.5k6
63Nov 27, '21Brilliant1.7×021k2.7k577
64Nov 5, '20“Okay, but how about now?” Everyone every 2 minutes #Election20201.7×023k1.7k11
65May 24, '20RIP All You Can Eat Buffets. It wont be the same without you.1.6×022k1.7k23
66Oct 4, '20Remember when you we used to be shocked AND surprised? They used to go together. Now you’re like, “I’m shocked but not surprised.” We are becoming numb to anxiety. That can’t be go1.6×022k1.5k28
67Sep 25, '20Please watch this. Proof that many Trump supporters are decent people that are being manipulated. There are too many reasons to think Trump & his gang are monsters but this one1.6×015k3.6k552
68Nov 3, '20About to start eating my third dinner entree. Not dealing with any stress at all. #ElectionNight1.6×024k6039
69Sep 30, '20I’d show up for @JoeBiden . I care about my children and really hate corrupt unethical people like Trump. Would you? #Debates2020 #doofus1.6×021k1.8k7
70Nov 3, '20This. Is. Amazing.1.6×019k2.2k305
71Sep 15, '20Today the NCAA will vote on a motion to give all college players off on Election Day moving forward. This will be huge for student athletes. @chrisbosh wrote an article in Players’1.5×016k4k16
72Mar 30, '22I guess the only question that remains is how long of a standing ovation do you give someone who just hit someone?1.5×021k74940
73Oct 7, '20Brilliant. Congrats @JKCorden1.5×018k2.6k285
74Feb 16, '21I unfortunately don’t have time to respond to all the nice comments I receive on social media but it is nice to know some of you are praying for me. #cloneBiden #RipTomHanks #RIPsp1.5×017k1.1k121
75Apr 10, '20What do we have to do to get the damn US Federal Government to get a damn Covid-19 test mass produced immediately and easily accessible to every US citizen? Why does it seem like t1.4×016k2.5k24
76Oct 6, '20I'm patiently waiting for Trump, the GOP and right wing media to come out against traffic lights. #dontletanyonetellyoutostoporgo1.4×019k1.6k16
77Sep 14, '21Oh my God. We lost a legend. Norm was punishingly funny. A unique special point of view and completely organic. RIPNormMacDonald1.4×021k95919
78Nov 5, '20I don’t want to sound uninformed but who is Donald Trump again?1.4×020k64911
79Apr 4, '21I can’t figure out if I’m more jealous that Stanley Tucci got to spend so much time in Italy, got to eat all that amazing food or that he got to all that amazing food in Italy and 1.3×019k63523
80Jan 6, '21And then Trump supporters stormed the Capital and the Republican Party STILL did nothing... #25thAmendment1.3×017k1.7k24
81Jan 31, '21Remember that time when all the GOP leaders stood up and reprimanded that dangerous GA Congresswoman who promoted baseless QAnon theories, absurd anti-Semitic conspiracies and viol1.2×017k1.6k20
82Nov 11, '20Thank you #veterans. I am grateful for your service to this country. The irony that you often fought against tyranny and fascism is not lost on me. I also appreciate the incredible1.2×018k1k10
83Jan 9, '21Wouldn't it be great if we found out the whole Q thing was just a big marketing campaign for @Quiznos?1.2×017k7249
84Nov 5, '20I really don’t appreciate how they are dragging out the election results like the final season of a show that should’ve ended 2 seasons ago. #sarcasm #CountAllTheVotes1.2×017k56514
85Oct 22, '20"And the winner of Best Political Ad Ever goes to..." (Turn sound on!!)1.1×013k1.8k164
86Jan 7, '21Like many parents I was forced to hold what felt like a press conference with my children because Republicans lunatics stormed the capitol. Congrats to @FoxNews on finally making i1.1×016k86415
87Oct 4, '20Sound on!!! This man yelling embodies all my fears and why this elections is so important. Please vote.1.1×013k1.4k71
88Jan 15, '21Hey Google, remind me NOT to take selfies if I ever break into the Capitol and chant with a mob that I want to hang the Vice President.1.1×016k89820
89Dec 9, '20Just invented crouton breakfast cereal. I'm fine.1.1×016k38015
90Sep 19, '20Tonight while playing one on one soccer with 9 year old son he tried to change the rules half way through the game. I told him "don't pull a McConnell". My son understood what was 1.1×014k1.6k13
91Feb 13, '21Is McConnell now trying to convince the historians he has no soul?1.1×014k84521
92Dec 25, '20I don’t see why Santa has to come at night. What about dropping off the presents around noon or 1pm? Waking up and immediately opening presents is really not good for anyone.1.1×016k49620
93Oct 9, '22Umm...SO MANY things to say about this but the big take away is that @ariel_Comedy is super funny and total class.1.1×015k843169
94Jan 8, '21Greatest President ... at getting impeached. Twice! (Thank you. Thank you. I’m here all pandemic. Please try the vaccine... #ImpeachTrumpAgainNOW1.0×015k68618
95Nov 2, '20I get more texts from Biden-Harris/Blue groups than my wife.1.0×015k3016
96Sep 30, '20“He wouldn’t know the suburbs if he took a wrong turn.” Biden about Trump. #Debates2020 #debates #bestlineofnight1.0×014k1.2k12
97Nov 23, '25SURPRISE DROP: “Live from Old Forester - The Bourbon Set” is now on YouTube1.0×253k32225469
98Mar 29, '21We’re never going back to wearing neckties, right? I mean newscasters, politicians & Diane Keaton can keep doing it if they want, but the necktie thing is stupid and looks ridi1.0×014k56213
99Nov 6, '20Is there more oxygen in the room? There's more oxygen in the room. Thanks Stacey!0.9×014k4063
100Jan 1, '21Happy New Year! #HAPPYNEWYEAR0.9×014k1587
101Oct 4, '20Today my family terrorized, I mean visited an apple orchard and overpaid to pick our own apples. Following tradition we lost our two youngest sons in the corn maze for an uncomfort0.9×014k29019

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