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Jeremy Clarkson

@JeremyClarkson7.5M followers

I am a still small voice of calm and reason.

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Oct 16
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Posts 96 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Dec 19, '22Oh dear. I’ve rather put my foot in it. In a column I wrote about Meghan, I made a clumsy reference to a scene in Game of Thrones and this has gone down badly with a great many peo30.9×32.3M95k2.6k819
2May 27, '24Here’s an idea. Instead of national service, which is obviously idiotic, how about kids working on farms.16.4×17.2M91k4.9k1.3k
3Sep 10, '25For the first time in my life, I’m genuinely frightened about being a newspaper columnist.16.3×17.1M160k5.2k3.7k
4Sep 5, '25We paid for Angela Rayner’s education. We paid her wages when she worked for the local council. We paid her wages when she became an MP. We even paid the settlement that enabled he10.4×10.9M98k12k2k
5Aug 17, '23It’s not the end of the world if your A level results aren’t what you’d hoped for. I got a C and 2 Us and here I am today with my own brewery.8.7×9.1M99k6.8k741
6Aug 14, '25If your A level results are disappointing, don’t worry. I got a C and two Us and here I am today, installing lights for a helicopter landing pad in my garden.8.3×8.7M138k7.7k3k
7Oct 30, '24Farmers. I know that you have been shafted today. But please don’t despair. Just look after yourselves for five short years and this shower will be gone.8.2×8.6M83k9.4k949
8Feb 11, '23Do please watch Clarkson’s Farm 2 this weekend on Amazon. People seem to be loving it. And the soundtrack is amazing.8.0×8.3M122k4.8k223
9Aug 8, '25It looks like this year’s harvest will be catastrophic. That should be a worry for anyone who eats food. If a disaster on this scale had befallen any other industry, there would be7.1×7.4M72k5.7k1.7k
10Mar 1, '23So many kind messages about today’s reports. But relax. Lisa and I have not split up and I have not been sacked as host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.6.9×7.2M66k1.4k145
11Jul 24, '17Dab on it wagwan x 💯6.3×0169k80k622
12Feb 19, '23It’s really busy at the farm shop today and I’m sorry we can’t provide proper car parking. Until we can, the local police, who are very great and much on our side btw, do ask that 6.2×6.5M56k1k128
13Oct 8, '23No Lewis. That was your fault.5.3×5.5M51k2.5k245
14Aug 22, '24It’s sad about the end of the Grand Tour of course but at least the tent lives on5.2×5.4M82k2.6k915
15Jul 31, '25Bad news from Diddly Squat. We’ve gone down with TB. Everyone here is absolutely devastated.5.2×5.4M49k1.4k844
16Aug 15, '24Don’t worry if your A level results aren’t what you were hoping for. I got a C and two Us, and here I am, 46 years later, with my own pub. It opens next weekend if you fancy droppi5.1×5.4M104k5.8k1.3k
17Jan 3, '21Dear the newspapers. I didn’t “battle” Covid. I lay on my bed reading a book till it went away5.0×0220k21k583
18Sep 9, '22Twitter is a handy and constant reminder that socialists are disgusting people.4.9×0187k26k2.1k
19Oct 3, '23My profound thanks to the people and government of Zimbabwe for helping to make a very special Grand Tour special, very special. We absolutely adored everything about your country.4.7×4.9M65k2.5k336
20Sep 28, '23I’m so sad to hear that Michael Gambon has died. He was hugely amusing, and such a tremendous guest, we even named a corner after him.4.7×4.9M97k4.2k357
21Aug 16, '18Don’t worry if your A level grades aren’t any good. I got a C and 2 Us. And I’m sitting here deciding which of my Range Rovers to use today4.4×0153k38k285
22Jun 16, '24I will vote for any party which stops the police from running over cows.4.3×4.5M94k6k472
23Dec 5, '23I have travelled a great deal over the years and have always said London is the best city in the world. But Kahn is seriously fucking it up.4.2×4.4M48k4.5k321
24Jul 13, '25People of America. So you know. Half time at a football match is for a pie. Not singing.4.1×4.3M90k5.2k826
25Sep 9, '22One of the things I’ve noticed in these last few hours is that so very many people on Twitter are truly awful human beings.4.1×0179k10k657
26May 16, '23You need a doctor once a year maybe and a fireman once in a lifetime, if you’re unlucky. But you need a farmer three times a day. Wise words from Kaleb Cooper.4.0×4.2M74k5.2k371
27Aug 17, '17If you didn't get the right A level results, don't worry. I got a C and 2 Us, and my chef is preparing truffles for breakfast.3.9×0127k38k34
28Aug 18, '22Don’t worry if your A level results are disappointing. I got a C and 2 Us and I’m currently holidaying on this boat.3.8×0169k12k837
29Dec 15, '23People of abroad. Do NOT come to London until we can get rid of our clown mayor.3.8×3.9M50k4.2k276
30Aug 10, '21If the teachers didn’t give you the A level results you were hoping for, don’t worry. I got a C and 2Us and I’ve ended up happy, with loads of friends and a Bentley.3.7×0158k15k588
31Aug 18, '16If your A level results are disappointing, don't worry. I got a C and two Us, and I'm currently on a superyacht in the Med.3.7×0103k47k32
32Sep 3, '25Crikey. The deputy prime minister of the UK has admitted she doesn’t understand how tax works. I wonder what else she doesn’t understand.3.5×3.7M103k9.1k1.2k
33Aug 3, '21If you really want to know what I think: get vaccinated. It’s not a government plot. Governments can’t even mend pot holes.3.4×0140k19k372
34Aug 14, '14If your A level results aren't joyous take comfort from the fact I got a C and two Us. And I have a Mercedes Benz.3.4×060k61k28
35Jun 28, '15Many many thanks for all your support and encouragement over the years. So sad and sorry it's ended like this3.3×092k39k7
36Sep 28, '24I don’t normally comment on a famous person’s death. But I met Maggie Smith a few times and my God she was funny.3.1×3.3M88k1.6k551
37Aug 15, '19A level results a bit rubbish? Don’t worry. I got a C and two Us and I’ve rented this place for the summer.3.0×0122k16k325
38May 4, '24Thank you all for sending such kind words about Clarkson’s Farm3. I know it’s tough to watch in places but that’s farming sometimes: brutal.3.0×3.2M48k936261
39Mar 14, '19I went to a small beach today....2.9×099k27k419
40May 11, '24Once again, thank you for all the kind words about the second half of series 3. I hope you enjoy 4 as much.2.9×3M52k773225
41Jul 21, '21Good news2.8×0119k11k465
42Aug 13, '20A level results not great? Don’t worry, I got a C and 2 Us and I’m currently building a large house with far reaching views of the Cotswolds2.8×0115k11k359
43Aug 22, '25Exactly a year ago, we opened the Farmer’s Dog to back British farming. Today, there are 146 people on the payroll and I’d like to thank every single one of them for making it such2.8×2.9M78k3.3k524
44Sep 4, '25I’m puzzled. Labourites tell us that Angela Rayner was only trying to look after her child which they quite rightly say is understandable. But when a farmer tries to look after his2.6×2.8M79k11k851
45Jul 31, '22As abuse is no longer allowed when we speak about F1, I’m forced to say Ferrari’s strategists are brilliant.2.6×0110k12k437
46Aug 22, '24Credit where credit is due. Our new pub opens tomorrow and this might sound odd but I’d like to thank Oxfordshire County Council for all their help. We couldn’t have done it so fas2.5×2.6M50k930309
47Sep 3, '19I’ve had a really good idea. Why don’t we all just agree this Brexit business is far too complicated and pretend it never happened?2.4×099k13k100
48Apr 6, '25That F1 race this morning gave me an idea of what it might be like to watch cricket.2.4×2.5M58k2.5k673
49Jun 18, '21I’m genuinely amazed at the response to Clarkson’s Farm. Thank you all so much for your kind words.2.4×0110k2k101
50Aug 13, '15If your A level results aren't great, be cheered by the fact that I got a C and two Us. And I'm currently sitting in a villa in St Tropez.2.3×050k38k23
51Sep 8, '22I was trying to think of something to say but Boris Johnson has said it all. Whatever you think of him, the man can write. Some beautiful words about a magnificent monarch.2.2×0106k4.7k356
52Jul 20, '21Well done @JeffBezos really well done. Can I do my farming show now?2.1×0102k5.2k78
53Feb 25, '22What pisses me off is that I know some great Russians and some great Ukrainians. And I’ve had some fucking great nights in both countries. Putin: you are such a cun2.1×0102k5.3k200
54Feb 24, '22Nikita Mazepin. You fucking retard. Go and race in Russia on your own. You’d still lose.2.1×088k8k769
55Sep 8, '22This is what he wrote. I agree with it all1.9×089k5.6k416
56Jun 7, '19Sadiq Khan. You’ve fucked London.1.9×071k12k121
57Jul 4, '21Anyone else thinking that @LandoNorris is the real deal?1.8×089k3.4k104
58Jul 4, '22Why are we letting the government do what it’s doing? I’ve properly had enough.1.8×078k6.8k187
59Dec 10, '22Fuck1.8×084k5.5k315
60Dec 12, '21Go Perez. Dangerous driving my arse1.8×078k8.5k190
61Mar 15, '21I had the Astra Zeneca vaccine yesterday and my blood is still a liquid. So it’s fine.1.7×079k4.5k172
62Jun 24, '16Right. We should have 24 hours of despair and moaning, and then we will all have to roll up our sleeves and make this shit shower work.1.7×048k21k1
63Mar 20, '15Many many thanks to all of the people who have called for my reinstatement. I'm very touched. We shall all learn next week what will happen.1.7×050k18k2
64Oct 3, '18No. Even when we do it, it looks stupid.1.6×057k13k244
65Jun 10, '17It was the biggest crash I've ever seen and the most frightening but incredibly, and thankfully, Richard seems to be mostly OK.1.5×057k11k13
66May 29, '22If safety is this important in F1, it’s probably best to not race at all.1.5×071k5k171
67Jul 24, '17#Mallorca it is #LIT lol x 🔥🔥💯💯🍆💦🙈🙉🙊1.5×046k17k20
68Oct 24, '21Fuck me. Max Verstappen. What a drive.1.5×069k5.3k202
69Mar 17, '21Terrible news about Sabine Schmitz. Such a sunny person and so full of beans.1.5×070k4k73
70Dec 24, '16Happy Christmas to everyone. Except the Tierra Del Fuego people of Argentina. You lot can sod off.1.5×047k14k36
71Jun 13, '22You can live without heat and clothing and even sex. But you cannot live without food. Please support British farming.1.5×067k4.3k122
72Jul 18, '22I’ve spent my life working in extreme heat and we survived by having a beer under a tree. Climate change is real. Drink more beer.1.4×066k4.5k140
73Aug 1, '21God almighty. Alonso is epic. This is the best driving I’ve ever seen.1.4×061k5.7k169
74Jul 1, '21Dear everyone. There has been some speculation that a second series of our farming programme has been commissioned. It hasn’t but we are hopeful.1.4×064k1.6k55
75Jul 30, '21It’s out now. And the Guardian’s TV critic doesn’t like it. Which means you will.1.4×064k3.3k161
76Sep 17, '20News channels. Can we stop asking morons on the street what they think about things?1.3×059k4.8k65
77Jul 20, '20People of America. Is everything OK? Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’ve all taken leave of your senses.1.3×057k5k87
78Sep 16, '22Delighted to say our latest adventure is out now on Amazon Prime.1.3×062k2.3k215
79Jul 21, '21I can reveal now that contrary to various silly reports, the farming show was never cancelled. Amazon were just as keen as us to get cracking. And now we are doing.1.3×064k1.8k35
80Dec 12, '21Very very dignified from @LewisHamilton1.3×060k2.9k77
81Dec 12, '21Delighted with the result but the stewards need to be banned. We’ve had enough of them.1.2×056k4.6k67
82Mar 20, '17Doctors say Richard Hammond suffered no damage to his brain in his bike crash. Because he hasn't got one.1.2×045k11k4
83Dec 12, '21That stewards’ decision is wrong.1.2×053k4.9k65
84Apr 30, '22I spent all day looking at tractors.1.2×056k1.4k66
85Mar 9, '21People of America. You sent Piers Morgan back to the U.K. Now look what we’ve sent back to you. Ha. We win.1.2×051k4.1k120
86Jan 26, '21Can the journalists in the press conferences please drop the blame game and ask a relevant question? Is the vaccine working? Start there.1.1×049k4.2k39
87May 29, '22I’m watching the cars on the road outside my house. It’s more interesting than this Monaco shit show1.1×053k3k93
88Aug 1, '21Ah. Clever. Only Hamilton on the track. That way he can’t hit anybody1.1×050k4.5k114
89Dec 14, '22Obviously, I don’t care who wins this just so long as they go on to absolutely batter Argentina.1.1×051k2.7k204
90Apr 20, '21My son’s at The Bridge. Proud of him.1.0×050k2.1k71
91Sep 12, '21Quick message to the chap flying in circles 500 feet above my house: fuck off.1.0×051k1.2k69
92Nov 7, '19Only May, Hammond and I could do this: end up 500 miles away from the entire crew, on the wrong island.1.0×049k2.4k80
93Jan 7, '21Can I just say how fucking reassuring it is to see the British Army is now involved in vaccine distribution.1.0×047k2.2k50
94Aug 11, '22Fucketty fuck. Had to stop harvesting because of, and I’m not making this up, the fire risk.1.0×048k1.1k142
95Jul 28, '22Seb was a bright star in F1 but I think he’ll be even brighter when he’s out of it.1.0×049k1.6k119
96Jul 31, '21This shit weather is annoying. But imagine that you’re a farmer…..0.9×048k90930

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