| 1 | Nov 6, '24 | The masks are fully off now | 1002× | 38.9M | 252k | 20k | 8.7k |
| 2 | Sep 10, '24 | I’m willing to bet 10s of dollars that the mom of that baby was born in a year that starts with a 2 | 487× | 18.9M | 247k | 7.5k | 6.2k |
| 3 | Jun 13, '24 | I saw a TikTok where someone realized the filter for the air purifier they’d been using for months had the plastic on it the whole time I thought “who could be this dumb?” but deci | 88.6× | 3.4M | 90k | 2.1k | 2.3k |
| 4 | Dec 23, '23 | My airing of my grievances: A Festivus thread (feel free to add yours below) 1. The blinding LED headlights are top of the list again this year. I’m ready to run for Prime Minister | 78.6× | 3.1M | 31k | 1.5k | 1.3k |
| 5 | Nov 6, '24 | Me before someone on Twitter explained that they do all the dumb states first | 64.1× | 2.5M | 99k | 5k | 4.1k |
| 6 | Apr 24, '24 | On a date a guy told me he had met a woman from an app that showed up 40lbs heavier than she appeared in photos He said this like I should be horrified for him. Like he had been ha | 56.1× | 2.2M | 42k | 1k | 991 |
| 7 | Mar 29, '24 | Hi Sharks. I’m asking for $44 billion so I can buy back Twitter and restore it to factory settings | 35× | 1.4M | 59k | 6.3k | 306 |
| 8 | Apr 10, '24 | This dude asked me out on a first date and suggested we could get together for a drink at 11pm after his hockey game but also wants me to believe he’s not a hook up guy This is why | 30.9× | 1.2M | 15k | 493 | 491 |
| 9 | Apr 17, '24 | I’ve had restaurant meals (plural!) disrupted by children literally playing hide and go seek under my table while their parents pretended not to notice but you don’t think I get an | 29.9× | 1.2M | 20k | 754 | 578 |
| 10 | Apr 6, '24 | I just saw a post saying not to let pets outside during the eclipse but I’m not even sure my dog knows the sky exists so I think he’s gonna be ok | 28.1× | 1.1M | 38k | 710 | 484 |
| 11 | Sep 10, '24 | @bearded1ndr It’s a very “I’m sorry that I got caught” vibe isn’t it ? | 25.4× | 986k | 27k | 123 | 63 |
| 12 | Mar 11, '24 | The reason we are all so obsessed with finding Kate Middleton is because we grew up with Super Mario Bros and were literally trained to save the princess | 22.8× | 887k | 21k | 1.8k | 330 |
| 13 | Nov 6, '24 | For everyone saying “that’s Nick Fuentes he’s always been like this” please try to understand it’s not about HIM, it’s the 22k+ likes, the 450k followers & all the people who v | 20.1× | 780k | 28k | 1.1k | 372 |
| 14 | Apr 11, '24 | It’s National Pet Day. Show me what you got | 18.6× | 721k | 4.8k | 104 | 55 |
| 15 | Mar 16, '24 | Kate is a 42 year old white lady. Has anyone tried looking for her at Target? | 15.8× | 614k | 11k | 572 | 139 |
| 16 | Sep 11, '24 | @nightseance Say that part louder ! | 13.4× | 520k | 2.9k | 4 | 6 |
| 17 | Sep 11, '24 | @HenryFitzempre All of this | 13.3× | 517k | 3.4k | 7 | 10 |
| 18 | Sep 11, '24 | @QUEENP0P What it sounds like is me pointing out the cliche that older men with influence will specifically target young women at the expense of their wives /family. You’re the one | 12.4× | 480k | 21k | 120 | 127 |
| 19 | Jun 13, '24 | Welp | 12.3× | 476k | 15k | 91 | 93 |
| 20 | Feb 6, '24 | People who can travel for a week with only a carry-on should be studied in a lab | 11.2× | 435k | 4.2k | 318 | 75 |
| 21 | Aug 1, '24 | I just want to live in a place where the weather feels like autumn all year long and then it snows on Christmas Eve | 10.5× | 409k | 10k | 1.1k | 209 |
| 22 | Sep 11, '24 | @mcjjil I like to live life dangerously | 10.3× | 401k | 5.8k | 5 | 17 |
| 23 | Jun 7, '23 | Hey America, sorry for sending our smoke your way but since you survived a giant 4 year dumpster fire we didn’t think you’d notice | 10.3× | 399k | 12k | 1.2k | 34 |
| 24 | Sep 11, '24 | @jamesjansson And she had no idea why that was funny 😂😂 | 10.2× | 395k | 3.8k | 9 | 13 |
| 25 | Jun 14, '24 | @ShannonTarran14 This is a VERY good point 🤔 | 8.6× | 336k | 6.8k | 5 | 16 |
| 26 | Jun 7, '24 | If you could find out the age you’re going to be when you die would you? I definitely want to know because I’m saving to live to 90 but if I’m outta here by 65 I’m going to make so | 8.4× | 327k | 12k | 512 | 158 |
| 27 | Feb 29, '24 | Happy working for free day to all those salaried people who celebrate | 8.2× | 317k | 6.3k | 462 | 89 |
| 28 | May 28, '23 | Two people were literally slaughtered in the street by their landlord last night and people are using this as an opportunity to talk about <checks notes> how hard it is to be | 7.2× | 279k | 4.3k | 643 | 54 |
| 29 | Nov 11, '24 | If you’re a Canadian who supports Trump you don’t get to post Lest We Forget today You forgot | 6.8× | 265k | 5.7k | 586 | 61 |
| 30 | Nov 6, '24 | @hufco60 That’s source is followed by almost 500k people and that tweet has 23k likes | 6.6× | 255k | 6.6k | 31 | 21 |
| 31 | Jul 9, '24 | Can anyone explain why two people talking to each other on the train is fine but one person talking on their phone makes me want to push them from the locomotive before it fully st | 6.4× | 249k | 14k | 281 | 192 |
| 32 | Feb 12, '23 | Hello Now say it back | 6.4× | 247k | 4.2k | 77 | 26 |
| 33 | Dec 16, '23 | Trying to date these divorced guys on dating apps is like dumpster diving hoping that one of the women in my area accidentally threw out a Chanel bag | 6.3× | 243k | 4.7k | 241 | 101 |
| 34 | Nov 20, '22 | Ladies, the menfolk are now distracted by football, hockey, and soccer. The time has come. We ride at dawn | 6.2× | 0 | 16k | 1.5k | 70 |
| 35 | Apr 24, '24 | Men show up heavier, older looking, balder, or shorter all the time They also sometimes show up married, hiding their identity, falsely representing their intentions, or willing to | 6.1× | 237k | 9.3k | 263 | 96 |
| 36 | Nov 6, '24 | @SARA2001NOOR Abstinence won’t solve rape and you’re sort of proving that in this post | 5.9× | 228k | 6k | 64 | 45 |
| 37 | Dec 23, '23 | 3. People who eat grapes in the grocery store. I don’t care that it costs the store money , it’s just wildly irritating | 5.7× | 223k | 3.6k | 27 | 5 |
| 38 | Dec 6, '23 | Dibs on this guy when the Purge starts | 5.7× | 222k | 5.2k | 262 | 50 |
| 39 | May 3, '24 | I went on a first date with a man who spent the better part of the first hour ruminating about his recent ex And yes I let him pay for my glass of wine and appetizer because a ther | 5.7× | 222k | 9.1k | 168 | 93 |
| 40 | Dec 23, '23 | 4. Slurping/sipping sounds . Coffee, soup, doesn’t matter. It’s gross and if you do it, I hate you | 5.7× | 220k | 3.9k | 74 | 12 |
| 41 | Apr 24, '24 | Ahem …. | 5.6× | 217k | 5.1k | 69 | 37 |
| 42 | Dec 23, '23 | 2. People who say “I don’t mean to interrupt…” and then proceed to continue interrupting | 5.6× | 216k | 4.6k | 36 | 6 |
| 43 | Jan 28, '23 | I just remembered that the sheets and duvet cover are in the dryer and I’d almost rather book a hotel room for the night than deal with all that | 5.4× | 209k | 4.1k | 264 | 13 |
| 44 | Apr 24, '24 | And before some of you start crying and throwing up in my mentions I’m not saying he has to be attracted to her at that size or can’t have a preference. He’s ultra lame because he | 5.3× | 206k | 6.9k | 59 | 37 |
| 45 | Dec 23, '23 | 6. Glass shower doors and the time spent trying to keep them spot free | 5.2× | 203k | 3.4k | 19 | 7 |
| 46 | Jan 5, '24 | Is there a name for the condition where you find a new product or article of clothing that you love and immediately want to buy at least 10 more in case they stop selling it and yo | 5.2× | 201k | 3.9k | 183 | 112 |
| 47 | Dec 23, '23 | 8. Having to remember 17895 passwords and then changing 1/2 of them every other week | 5.1× | 197k | 4k | 31 | 8 |
| 48 | Dec 23, '23 | 10. People who just say “hi Sam” and then wait in a Teams message. Tell me what you want so I know whether to answer you | 5.0× | 196k | 5.5k | 162 | 21 |
| 49 | Dec 23, '23 | 9. Having to call for technical support. I’d rather give up having internet service/a cell phone/my job than make that call | 4.8× | 188k | 2.6k | 25 | 5 |
| 50 | Aug 23, '22 | @GShaneMorris Sorry you need to have a child so someone is forced to hang out with you, bro. Hope things improve for you 🙏🏻 | 4.6× | 0 | 15k | 311 | 61 |
| 51 | Apr 24, '24 | I downplay the size of my breasts in photos & on a first date. When men I’ve dated realize they’re bigger than expected I’ve never been accused of misrepresenting myself. Can a | 4.6× | 177k | 5.4k | 71 | 51 |
| 52 | Dec 23, '23 | 11. Most other drivers for pretty much everything they do at all times | 4.6× | 177k | 2.9k | 44 | 6 |
| 53 | Mar 9, '24 | I’m not saying my day was better than yours, but I got to meet and cuddle at least 25 dogs & puppies so…. | 4.5× | 176k | 7.2k | 134 | 35 |
| 54 | Dec 23, '23 | 12. Mentally feeling young and my body disagreeing with every chance it gets | 4.4× | 172k | 3.7k | 62 | 14 |
| 55 | Jan 17, '19 | Show us your dogs, not your dicks -women | 4.3× | 0 | 9.1k | 1.8k | 15 |
| 56 | Dec 23, '18 | A nose ring at 30-something doesn’t say mid-life crisis, right? RIGHT?!? | 4.2× | 0 | 12k | 183 | 11 |
| 57 | Aug 15, '19 | Which wine pairs best with “I’m about to quit this fucking job and go live in a van down by the river?” | 4.0× | 0 | 8.4k | 966 | 27 |
| 58 | Dec 21, '23 | The doctor’s office needs to get those discs that light up to tell you the doctor is ready to see you that way you can go grab a coffee, do some grocery shopping, and get a univers | 4.0× | 156k | 4.8k | 317 | 32 |
| 59 | Jan 28, '24 | What time does Taylor’s boyfriend’s game start? I want to make sure l’m available to watch the fragile men melt down in real time | 3.7× | 143k | 3.1k | 155 | 14 |
| 60 | May 8, '22 | I’ll check my yard for all the boys when I get home… | 3.4× | 0 | 10k | 155 | 54 |
| 61 | Sep 10, '24 | @MagpieEva @DBush1492 He betrayed his wife but sure let’s give him a big ol’ cookie for admitting it before he was publicly outed by someone else 🙄 | 3.4× | 132k | 3.9k | 18 | 5 |
| 62 | Apr 9, '24 | I tried but he put up quite the fight | 3.3× | 129k | 3k | 239 | 28 |
| 63 | Mar 23, '22 | If your hatred for PMJT overrides your desire to see Canadians benefit from pharmacare, dental care, affordable housing, affordable childcare, more fair taxation, and reconciliatio | 3.1× | 0 | 6.1k | 961 | 42 |
| 64 | Mar 4, '19 | Dear men of Twitter, Just because a woman says she wants to have sex, it does not mean she wants to have sex with you In fact, she probably doesn’t Sincerely, An example of a woman | 2.9× | 0 | 6.4k | 910 | 26 |
| 65 | May 5, '24 | Oh, hello | 2.9× | 111k | 2.8k | 24 | 60 |
| 66 | Apr 17, '24 | And just so we are super duper clear, I don’t expect young kids to know how to behave in public. I expect you to be teaching them | 2.7× | 107k | 6.2k | 132 | 11 |
| 67 | Jun 4, '22 | It’s officially freckles season | 2.7× | 0 | 8.1k | 93 | 29 |
| 68 | Sep 18, '19 | Things you can joke about on Twitter without offending someone: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. | 2.3× | 0 | 4.9k | 951 | 10 |
| 69 | Jan 14, '19 | A definitive guide to how women read emojis from men (part one): 😘: I want to fuck you 😏: I want to fuck you 😉: I want to fuck you 😍: I want to fuck you 🔥: I want to fuck you | 2.3× | 0 | 4.9k | 781 | 31 |
| 70 | Jul 13, '24 | Guys I know something big happened but can we please take a moment to pour one out for our homie Richard Simmons | 2.3× | 88k | 4k | 262 | 10 |
| 71 | Nov 13, '20 | Last time we had a Friday the 13th in 2020 they declared a global pandemic so anyway good luck tomorrow, you guys | 2.1× | 0 | 4.7k | 841 | 22 |
| 72 | Nov 14, '22 | Ladies, if you’re looking for romance, now is the time of year to move to a small town in order to save your grandfather’s business from the guy who also happens to secretly be the | 1.9× | 0 | 4.8k | 420 | 35 |
| 73 | Jul 23, '19 | I’m “my glasses aren’t a Snapchat filter” years old | 1.8× | 0 | 5.1k | 99 | 16 |
| 74 | Nov 12, '20 | Just a friendly reminder that if you think a mask is oppression you don’t know shit about oppression | 1.6× | 0 | 3.6k | 727 | 25 |
| 75 | Mar 17, '20 | Doctors Nurses Paramedics Police officers Homecare workers Pharmacy and other medical workers Grocery store personnel Delivery people Transit workers Airline workers And anyone who | 1.6× | 0 | 3.2k | 823 | 8 |
| 76 | Nov 18, '19 | That one reply guy in every beautiful woman’s mentions | 1.5× | 0 | 3.2k | 527 | 66 |
| 77 | Sep 5, '22 | Men would rather elaborately plan for and coach an imaginary football team than go to therapy | 1.5× | 0 | 3.3k | 291 | 40 |
| 78 | Apr 29, '21 | If getting a vaccine makes me a sheep, then baa baa motherfucker | 1.4× | 0 | 3.6k | 432 | 13 |
| 79 | Nov 27, '18 | I tend to follow back women over men at about 20:1 ...The reason? Women rarely send dick pics Plus the ladies around here are cool AF Take note, fellas 💁🏼♀️ | 1.4× | 0 | 3.6k | 232 | 3 |
| 80 | Apr 28, '20 | I was with her when she passed. Just me. The way my life started, her’s went away But she was not alone, and for that I am grateful I love you, mom 🖤 | 1.3× | 0 | 3.1k | 68 | 7 |
| 81 | Mar 19, '20 | If you are still hoarding, remember that there are people who live paycheck to paycheck and simply cannot afford to stock up Stop it | 1.2× | 0 | 2.7k | 608 | 3 |
| 82 | Jan 10, '20 | Just imagine when the stoners realize that the whole month of April is 4/20 | 1.2× | 0 | 2.5k | 591 | 7 |
| 83 | Apr 14, '22 | Going for a stupid walk in the stupid sun for my stupid mental health | 1.2× | 0 | 3.4k | 37 | 19 |
| 84 | Jul 19, '20 | Call me a cougar...I dare you | 1.2× | 0 | 2.8k | 61 | 13 |
| 85 | Jun 5, '22 | I haven’t ordered from Amazon since May 7 and they just sent a driver to my door to do a wellness check | 1.2× | 0 | 3.4k | 175 | 8 |
| 86 | Nov 18, '18 | Got asked if I’m Jen Aniston at the airport so I’ve definitely had worse days.... | 1.1× | 0 | 3k | 70 | 7 |
| 87 | Jan 30, '21 | We all agree that laundry washing day and laundry putting away day are not the same day, right? | 1.1× | 0 | 2.6k | 300 | 6 |
| 88 | Jan 24, '19 | I love me a man with a 6 pack Assuming he knows what brand of beer that I like | 1.1× | 0 | 2.6k | 415 | 2 |
| 89 | Jan 29, '19 | In the dead of winter, when it’s extremely cold, I always ask myself why I live here Then I remember the free healthcare, personal safety, access to opportunity, education, quality | 1.1× | 0 | 2.6k | 350 | 4 |
| 90 | Nov 3, '20 | The emotional support Canadians are standing by..... | 1.1× | 0 | 2.6k | 284 | 5 |
| 91 | Jul 21, '19 | Hello from the blonder side | 1.1× | 0 | 3k | 51 | 9 |
| 92 | Feb 2, '20 | I like big rum and sugar based drinks and I cannot lie | 1.1× | 0 | 3k | 53 | 19 |
| 93 | Oct 13, '19 | I said some words and stuff... | 1.1× | 0 | 2.5k | 92 | 44 |
| 94 | Jul 28, '19 | Summer, or some shit | 1.1× | 0 | 3k | 39 | 9 |
| 95 | Nov 26, '20 | Tomorrow, while America eats itself into a tryptophan and carb coma, we shall take over Twitter once and for all. We ride at dawn, Canada | 1.0× | 0 | 2.5k | 207 | 2 |
| 96 | Mar 4, '19 | Silly me...I thought my sexual prime would include a lot more actual sex | 1.0× | 0 | 2.5k | 308 | 4 |
| 97 | Apr 25, '19 | Blah blah.. inspirational shit...blah blah blah ..here’s my face again | 1.0× | 0 | 2.6k | 45 | 2 |
| 98 | Mar 10, '19 | 20-something in this bar: Hey, That shirt is so awesome Me: Thanks, what’s your favourite album? Him: Album?? | 1.0× | 0 | 2.5k | 106 | 3 |
| 99 | Oct 11, '20 | Happy Thanksgiving, ya hosers! | 1.0× | 0 | 2.8k | 34 | 9 |
| 100 | Oct 13, '19 | Plaid isn’t a pattern, it’s a way of life | 1.0× | 0 | 2.7k | 39 | 14 |
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