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1984’s George Whorewell

@EwdatsGROSS122k followers

unfortunately extremely online | senior creative, 2x cat mom, former emo kid & niche internet micro celebrity

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Across 99 organic posts
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Oct 17
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Posts 99 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Jan 31, '24View post on X20.2×9.8M163k23k1.9k
2Sep 20, '23Guess who found a le crueset dutch oven for $5 and then asked for a new handle from customer service and was sent a brand new one15.8×7.7M104k2.7k2.1k
3Sep 16, '24If you can’t Then you don’t handle me deserve me at my at my12.6×6.1M164k20k5.9k
4May 26, '24Saturday night after you turn 2710.7×5.2M60k6.1k3.4k
5Jul 6, '23If he didn’t want a bad bitch he shouldn’t have married one10.4×5M76k5.1k280
6Jul 21, '23“Describe yourself in 5 words”10.4×5M122k18k1.2k
7Sep 5, '23I’m not saying I’m on Sophie Turner’s side but I am saying Joe Jonas broke up with Taylor Swift in a 25 second phone call when she was 18 so maybe he’s not the best guy10×4.8M82k3.5k966
8Jul 24, '23Thinking about how cows don’t know I say “cows” every time I pass by them and that I’m their biggest fan9.6×4.6M121k14k1.1k
9Sep 19, '22My dad asking the important questions8.5×0589k37k6.4k
10Dec 23, '22Ladies and gentlemen, we defeated the cheeseburger7.9×3.8M72k3.2k595
11Jul 28, '23When I have to decide what’s for dinner7.7×3.7M89k11k528
12May 1, '23My 2012 Facebook prom group would never have let this happen7.2×3.5M71k3.3k473
13Oct 18, '23When my therapist laughs at my lil jokes6.8×3.3M74k8.1k1.1k
14Feb 2, '24sorry if I’m weird I had unrestricted internet access at a young age6.8×3.3M108k22k2.3k
15Jun 30, '23Azealia banks always knows what to say6.5×3.1M99k8.8k539
16May 17, '19Salem Witch Banning Abortion Trials Rights 🤝 Men not knowing how things work and deciding that women are evil and must be punished5.9×0294k88k1.6k
17Feb 2, '24the european mind cannot comprehend this is how americans determine when their seasonal depression will be over5.5×2.7M79k5.8k1.1k
18May 1, '23You can’t say he’s not serving c*nt5.1×2.5M65k6.8k776
19Aug 6, '20“Women are so emotional”, sir I have never punched a hole in my dry wall5.1×0300k48k1.5k
20Mar 8, '24this is how it feels to take an edible and sit on the sofa with your cat4.8×2.3M69k6k2.9k
21Aug 25, '20My Bank Account Me 24/74.8×0235k71k1.8k
22Aug 12, '19I am a: ⚪️ guy ⚪️ girl 🔘 millennial Looking for: ⚪️ a boyfriend ⚪️ a girlfriend 🔘 a way to prevent global warming because if I see one more nature documentary with a dying polar 4.4×0229k61k755
23Nov 28, '22Spotify: wrapped3.9×0212k45k2.6k
24Apr 7, '20“Wasting” my money on take out because I’m lazy? I think you mean “stimulating the local economy” and a “hometown hero”3.8×0229k36k872
25Jun 19, '19[during sex] Me: hurt me Him: your metabolism isn’t what it was in high school and it shows Me: wait Him: you never lived up to your potential because you rely on talent instead of3.8×0214k36k4k
26Sep 14, '19cultural impact: █ █ █ █ ＿ Gwen Stefani the American teaching me to educational system spell Bananas3.5×0198k38k648
27Aug 17, '18Me during sex: hurt me Him: you’ve gained a lot of weight since high school and your personality doesn’t make up for it Me: wait- Him: your tweets aren’t funny and you’re so creati3.4×0196k37k1.5k
28Feb 23, '20Drunk me made cold brew and left it in the fridge, laid out my clothes for today and did her 6 step skincare routine???? Still texted my ex tho but nobody’s perfect xoxo3.4×0238k14k1.2k
29Jul 30, '20How I’m trying to be3.3×0200k29k2.3k
30May 19, '19“Your boobs are out” I have limited good boob years left my guy before gravity wears these bitches down & I have to dress like Mother Theresa, so until then pls enjoy my nipple3.1×0178k31k1.5k
31Dec 3, '19Him: who’s pussy is this Me: Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?3.0×0167k30k2.8k
32Sep 26, '20My boyfriend really booked an airbnb with BUNK BEDS for our ANNIVERSARY2.9×0210k7k1.3k
33Dec 30, '23me after reading every single a quote tweet of “what art piece do you think about constantly”2.9×1.4M66k8.4k1.6k
34Nov 16, '22“12 foot skeletons are only for Halloween”2.8×0178k17k1.8k
35Apr 4, '19TSA: Girl [with pierced nipples]: sorry I have my nipples pierced TSA: the metal detector didn’t even go off- Girl: it didn’t even hurt as much as you’d think2.7×0175k19k1k
36Jan 21, '20My coworker just told me instead of coffee she runs a mile in the morning to wake up and not to be dramatic but I think she’s a serial killer2.7×0173k18k752
37Sep 18, '19cultural impact: █ █ █ █ ＿ Lil Wayne’s verse Public Sex Ed “You better wear A latex, you don’t want that late text, that, “I think I’m late” text2.6×0149k26k1.4k
38Jan 8, '20My toxic trait is that the barista of the Starbucks I go to thinks she remembers my order and gives me the wrong thing every day but she gets so excited and happy she remembers so 2.5×0177k10k929
39Jul 14, '20View post on X2.4×0125k34k651
40Aug 31, '19In 8th grade I broke up with my boyfriend at a middle school dance & requested they play Single Ladies as a power move but he ended up dating my cousin 3 weeks later all throug2.4×0175k7.2k778
41Apr 11, '19A year ago today I broke up with my boyfriend because he said I wasn’t going anywhere in life and since then I have: -graduated college -gotten a job -moved 13 hours to Chicago -ga2.4×0167k9k892
42Dec 5, '19might mess around and | 👀 | \ / ____| |_____ / ✊__/ \_✊ Quit my job and move to the Mediterranean so I can have pasta and wine for every meal and not know who the father of my chi2.3×0140k21k862
43Sep 13, '191st base: sex 2nd base: explaining all the ways your parents fucked you up that prevent you from feeling adequate and successful 3rd base: hanging out during sunlight hours 4th bas2.3×0130k22k3k
44Jan 5, '20It’s come to my attention my 13 year old brother has started following me on twitter: Aiden if you ever screenshot my tweets about smoking weed again and send them to mom I will sh2.2×0159k9k601
45Aug 4, '22By the time you’re in your late 20’s you should have: 1. An air fryer 2. A Caffeine dependency 3. An SSRI 4. Reverted back to everything you loved aged 13-17 as a coping mechanism2.2×0128k15k3.1k
46Sep 6, '22Ok so Olivia Wilde presented herself as a feminist but made her lead work with an abuser then replaced him with her “I’m not an actor” boyfriend that she cheated on her husband wit2.1×0140k9.1k4.5k
47Oct 7, '20My Me Bank Account Treating Myself2.1×0100k33k644
48Dec 7, '19By the time you’re in your 20’s you should have: -a job you’re underpaid at -anxiety -a feeling that everyone you know secretly hates you until you develop insecurities that you’re2.1×0116k22k930
49Oct 7, '19PROS OF COFFEE: -delicious -makes life more tolerable -kills appetite so you can save money -sometimes I have heart palpitations so I could possibly die before having to repay my s2.0×0103k27k522
50Feb 24, '20Do I want iced coffee or do I want a reason to spend money and something to distract me from my perpetual state of burnout to get a daily dose of dopamine ™2.0×098k27k857
51Apr 4, '21Discussing politics with family like1.9×0114k19k1.2k
52May 8, '19The girl in my 3rd grade class that told everyone she was part horse and ate grass at recess is engaged and I have been ghosted 4 times in the last month. Much to think about1.9×0129k11k707
53Nov 23, '19Drinking a 4 Loko at 16: -bad ass -rebellious -super fuckin cool Drinking a 4 Loko in 2019: -yikes -who hurt you -please get help1.8×0113k15k587
54Jul 7, '20i wasted🤡🤡🤡🤡my skinny years🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡thinking🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡I was🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡fat🤡1.8×0107k17k371
55Mar 16, '20There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco1.8×085k27k304
56Oct 31, '22The sexual tension between me and faking my death and moving to a small town in Italy where I eat pasta and raise chickens1.8×0101k17k1.6k
57Jun 6, '19A wedding without sex without an open bar foreplay 🤝 Me, absolutely not coming1.7×0102k15k1.2k
58Aug 19, '22This is the best email I have ever seen1.7×0112k8.1k2.8k
59Jun 13, '19No offense but I was raised to “take care” of my husband. Wash his clothes, clean the house, construct fake diaries insinuating he wanted to hurt me, elaborately fake my own death 1.7×097k18k618
60Aug 13, '19By the time you’re in your 20’s you should have a: -job you’re underpaid at -anti depressant prescription -Conspiracy theory you unironically believe -sense of impending existentia1.7×090k19k648
61Jun 11, '19Millennial Job Descriptions Be like: -must be fluent in excel, photoshop, copywriting, Spanish, English, Klingon, and Chinese -office keg!! -free snacks!! -must have 3-8 years expe1.7×098k16k440
62Jun 24, '21View post on X1.6×0110k9.8k381
63Feb 10, '20I May Be: - a solid 6 - kind of chubby - emotionally unstable - extremely annoying But At Least I: -never joined a pyramid scheme -left my hometown -text back really fast -never po1.6×096k15k689
64Dec 29, '19My sophomore year of college I had this guy who would ask to come over to cuddle & when I would leave for class he would make my bed & do my dishes for me and honestly i di1.6×0119k3.1k686
65Dec 8, '20Good morning1.6×086k18k729
66Feb 17, '20Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 20 minutes late with iced coffee, please respect that1.6×081k20k731
67Mar 5, '20PROS OF ICED COFFEE: - healthier than crack -d o p a m i n e -use the bathroom so much I lost 10lbs -can convince myself instead of my anxiety being a sign of mental illness it’s s1.6×083k19k647
68Sep 16, '22We all have heard about a mid life crisis but no one talks about the quarter life crisis where everyone gets either weirdly into hiking or everything they loved in 10th grade1.5×093k8.9k1.8k
69Dec 25, '19My ex of 3 years who threw away my passport and hooked up with my best friend and also cheated on me just sent me “Merry Christmas” should I take him back yes or no1.5×0105k4k480
70Apr 5, '19If a man who uses 3-in-1 shampoo ever makes a negative comment about your appearance you are legally allowed to kill him1.5×086k14k419
71Nov 11, '19GOING TO THERAPY: -expensive -time consuming -private OVERSHARING REALLY WEIRD PERSONAL STORIES WITH MY COWORKERS AS THEY ENTER MY BRAIN: -Free -power move -makes them extremely un1.4×085k14k758
72Nov 19, '19It getting dark at 4:30pm ○ く|)へ 〉 ￣￣┗ My Mental Health ┗┓ ヾ○ｼ ┗┓ ヘ/ ┗┓ノ ┗┓1.4×088k12k442
73Sep 26, '21“Are you ok” no, my boyfriend watches Thursday night football, Saturday football, Sunday football and Monday night football1.4×087k8.3k771
74Nov 25, '19I am: ⚪️ a man 🔘 a woman Seeking: 🔘 Attention 🔘 Someone to kiss my forehead 🔘 To be tucked in at night 🔘 Definitive answers on the JonBenet Ramsey case please1.4×079k14k499
75Jan 1, '20Entering 2020 with this energy1.4×071k18k553
76Feb 12, '20No One Has All 3: -a job that doesn’t under pay you -a brain that produces serotonin -a valentine1.3×076k11k389
77Oct 27, '19Waking up hungover in left over Halloween make up regretting every decision I made the last 48 hours1.3×074k12k1.2k
78Mar 18, '19Due to P̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶R̶e̶a̶s̶o̶n̶s̶ 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐬, I will be arriving 20 minutes late with an iced coffee1.3×065k17k517
79Sep 20, '19PSA: the food pyramid has been updated for spooky season. It now looks like this: / \ / \ /pumpkin\ / Spice \ —-——- / anti \ /depressants\ —————— / Iced Coffee \ -———————1.3×074k13k328
80Mar 16, '19REPLACING MEALS WITH ICED COFFEE CONS: -expensive -always jittery -nutritionists hate you -always have coffee breath REPLACING MEALS WITH ICED COFFEE PROS: -skinny legend1.3×080k8.8k471
81Nov 21, '19This just in: if you’re not into Missionary sex while The Office plays in the background the New York Post thinks you deserve to get murdered1.2×078k9.6k407
82Sep 17, '19cultural impact: █ █ █ █ ＿ Iced coffee The entire Food pyramid1.2×069k14k207
83Sep 11, '19The same girls who bullied me in high school are the ones posting about suicide awareness on Instagram, but no one’s ready to have that Conversation yet1.2×074k10k309
84Jun 1, '19📍me | | | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | 📍healthy relationships | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| | | | 📍drinking 4 vodka cranberries and sending a “wyd” text at 11pm1.2×073k9.8k583
85Oct 14, '19This is what my food pyramid looks like / \ / \ / \ / adderall \ —-——- / shredded \ / cheese \ —————— / Iced Coffee \ -———————1.2×075k8.9k527
86Nov 20, '22The sluttiest thing a man can do is have intimate knowledge of coffee and espresso1.2×074k5.6k1.7k
87Dec 27, '18📍men | | | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | 📍a Therapist | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| | | | 📍dating a woman and projecting their emotional immaturity and trauma1.2×064k13k549
88Oct 11, '19me: :( * * . * . * . * . * . * . . * overpriced iced coffee *. * . * * . *. * . . * . * . me: :)1.2×065k13k174
89Mar 8, '19A bridesmaid [to a waiter]: what a beautiful wedding A waiter [about to reveal that the grooms bride is a whore]: yes but what a shame1.1×065k13k371
90Dec 20, '19I am a: ⚪️ guy ⚪️ girl 🔘 millennial Looking for: 🔘Christmas spirit 🔘 a sense of purpose 🔘 the jonbenet ramsey killer 🔘 dopamine1.1×069k11k282
91Sep 26, '18“YoU’Re nOt gOiNg tO gEt a jOb WiTh tHoSe tAtToOs” First of all, bold of you to assume I’m employable without my tattoos1.1×065k13k209
92Dec 12, '19📍me | | | _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ | 📍healthy living | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| | | | 📍replacing my meals with coffee, refusing to talk about my feelings, publicly tweeting my mental brea1.0×059k11k399
93Jul 5, '192 years ago today my boyfriend was embarrassed that I beat everyone in beer pong and ate 13 Taco Bell quesoritos at his coworker’s party. Today I am happy to announce I can still s1.0×074k3.6k267
94Jul 5, '19saw myself in a bathing suit today and hot girl summer is CANCELLED, hot personality summer is now ON1.0×061k9k208
95Oct 3, '22My 2 coping mechanisms1.0×063k7.6k538
96Jul 20, '19“Your boobs are hanging out”. First of all, you’re welcome.1.0×060k9.3k267
97Nov 29, '19CONS OF BEING IN YOUR HOMETOWN FOR HOLIDAYS: -you see everyone from high school -there are three (3) good restaurants -parents ask weirdly invasive personal questions which is why 1.0×068k3.8k576
98Jun 3, '19Boys be like “she thinks she’s my girlfriend because I text her every day and sleep over 3 times a week for the last 2 months. lmao grow up”1.0×063k5.8k690
99Mar 24, '19We need a Disney Princess that drinks 3 vodka cranberries and texts her ex boyfriend0.9×058k6.1k293

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