Kikuyu Pipes

@DrKanyuira65k followers

I break down gadgets sometimes and I know what bangs.

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Oct 16

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Posts 101 posts

#	Date	Post	↓ Outlier	Views	Likes	Reposts	Bookmarks
1	Jan 2, '24	As the year 2024 begins, I've compiled a list of places, mostly within 60km of Nairobi, a few will go beyond. If you don't have your own car/bike; ✓Link up with a pal and offer to	43×	552k	3.2k	1.3k	5.5k
2	Apr 2, '25	Nikiona a young person (under 35) driving a Premio or Allion hua niko tempted to ask them what went haywire in their life.	35.3×	453k	5.1k	647	408
3	Jul 8, '23	This image makes me happy.	29.4×	377k	5.7k	1.2k	42
4	Nov 16, '24	It raises a red flag when you see a bank like @KCBGroup refusing to reply a general public query on a public platform where the query has been raised, then it becomes a red flag. I	29.2×	375k	2.5k	761	156
5	Jun 6, '25	Kericho Gold is just a brand. Their tea is bought from Mombasa and includes tea from Malawi, there's nothing from Kericho.	28.4×	364k	2k	481	191
6	Mar 22, '25	This is why Safari Rally Kenya will never be replicated anywhere else! Playing in the mud is fun.	25.2×	323k	2.4k	371	98
7	Nov 4, '24	Saved some fuel money from working at home, so I splurged it on a mini therapy session! Crisscrossed five counties in one afternoon: Nairobi-Thika-Gatura-Gatakaini-Njabini-Fly Over	23.2×	297k	2k	258	221
8	Aug 27, '24	If you ask Africans, there's only one king in the jungle, and it's not the lion.	22.1×	284k	4.4k	554	116
9	Aug 18, '25	Pro tip from someone who has been around imported refurbished devices long enough. Sellers love selling a boxed device, buyers giggle when they unbox. Let me spoil the bash for you	21.3×	273k	2.2k	376	491
10	Dec 28, '24	Ngafana ya Nyeri huingia hoteli kupiga story ikikunywa chai za 20 bob bila maneno mingi na ata bila security.	19×	243k	4.5k	562	68
11	Mar 27, '25	If you prefer inland over the coast like me, enda ukanuse murima. You will do Nairobi-Nanyuki-Timau-Kisima-Kerugoya-Embu-Chuka-Nairobi—all while keeping it within that budget. Thre	18.4×	236k	2.4k	424	1.7k
12	Feb 25, '24	Bibi kama huyu si mtaishi kucheka hamtawai kua serious kwa hio keja 😂😂	18.1×	232k	2.5k	676	611
13	Nov 10, '23	Lynn Ngugi's sells the woishe drug, it got the audience hooked like crack.	17.6×	225k	1.5k	350	63
14	Apr 19, '23	Me when I come back from the car wash on Sunday afternoon and find kuna mtu kwa nyumba yangu.	16.8×	215k	1.6k	475	22
15	Oct 1, '25	This waterbender boat is loud even when idling in traffic.	16.3×	209k	1.4k	123	45
16	May 28, '25	I have a kiulizio. What happens in the case of a road accident where you're on third party cover but the other driver is the one at fault?	15.5×	199k	1.3k	156	286
17	Mar 14, '23	Nah, you just had sexual intercourse without protection during the fertile days of your menstrual cycle.	15.3×	196k	1.8k	461	16
18	Feb 11, '25	Sometimes, I feel like I’d never advise anyone to go into self-employment or freelancing. You’re constantly on the move, always pitching, and the concept of breaks or leave simply	14.3×	183k	1.6k	470	291
19	Apr 30, '24	I see people in their late 20s and early 30s changing careers. How does an accountant or fetinary just wake up one day and decide they now want to be a coder, software developer, o	13.8×	177k	1.4k	268	256
20	Oct 21, '23	The Mpesa till number at Pronto Kimathi street charges you Kshs 60 for Kshs 1,180 transaction. A whole 5.08% transaction charge. This is the most expensive transaction fee I have e	13.4×	171k	1.2k	229	30
21	Aug 3, '25	This is a seasoned sports journalist hoarding tickets to a national team game in a continental tournament and it points to a very big personal ethics problem.	13.3×	170k	4.6k	1.5k	65
22	Nov 4, '25	Self employment. People outside it only see you working less hours and making more money. From inside you know you work like 18hrs a day ata ukiwa disco unameza Balozi ukifikiria m	13.3×	170k	2.8k	747	254
23	Jan 16, '23	Developers wamechizi na open plan kitchens. Who wants to see roaches zikipiga patrol huko kitchen?	13.2×	170k	1.4k	216	8
24	Nov 30, '24	I placed an order from China, expecting it to arrive by Tuesday or Wednesday after leaving last Sunday. But now? The direct flight's cargo is delayed because the shipping agents ca	12.4×	159k	1.7k	521	109
25	Jul 22, '23	Vita ya server ni ya hao wawili na watapigana masaa yao. All we want is reasonable taxes and affordable living.	12.2×	156k	1.7k	1.1k	13
26	Sep 16, '25	I’ve come to believe that solo trips are the best. No planning, no qourum, hakuna mtu wa kuomba PM permission. Sunday trip thread tips and photo dumps. The last post is very import	12×	154k	1.6k	203	257
27	Nov 12, '25	For context, apparently this house was on 11 acres of land of thereabouts. Working with a rate of Kshs 130 to the USD, that's just under Kshs 30M per acre INCLUDING THE MANSION. In	11.7×	150k	2.9k	630	191
28	Oct 18, '24	This will be the worst era ever in Kenya. We will be the poorest, hungriest and most exploited MFs in Africa/world.	11.2×	143k	5.2k	1.9k	72
29	Sep 9, '24	Things my woman will never experience under my stewardship.	10.2×	130k	3.5k	873	85
30	Jun 22, '25	I keep saying this. But somehow I believe my girl deserves hair and nails money from me because I appreciate good hair and nicely done nails......she can't be sending me spread lip	10.0×	128k	2k	350	114
31	Apr 24, '25	When I build my place I'm gonna keep geese. Very good security agents and lawn mowers and other uses.	9.4×	121k	2k	286	107
32	Jan 3, '25	I decided to close 2024 while on the road, just a short trip. First things first, I went to get my share of mchele na nyama somehwere between Karatina and Chaka but I found the gen	9.2×	117k	1.3k	189	253
33	Mar 17, '23	Which song?	8.8×	113k	1.4k	427	8
34	Mar 7, '25	This is the only way my work gets done .	8.5×	109k	1.4k	306	394
35	Aug 31, '25	Manifesting this with a babe with nice legs and a very short dress and no undies	8.4×	108k	2.2k	349	146
36	Nov 23, '24	Wewe kaa Archives tu na hio trolley yako imejaa H Pyroli ujikune matako.	8.1×	104k	3.9k	975	32
37	Nov 12, '24	NMG published a report detailing how the chlorophyll Naivasha Highway telecom has been allegedly sharing sensitive data with groups involved in abductions and killings. This data,	7.8×	100k	2.1k	1.2k	149
38	Nov 15, '24	Kenyans did a Nairobi to Cape Town trip in two Mazda CX5s. 5,000+ kms covered. Good stuff	7.5×	96k	1.3k	214	164
39	Apr 6, '25	Hii pahali inakaa kuslap ta gathia. Unavaa gumboots alafu umbrella unatembea 15km	7.3×	94k	2.2k	262	39
40	Jul 2, '23	May I never say this or even think such about someone I've chosen to be with.	7.2×	93k	1.1k	497	7
41	Oct 28, '23	Sasa angeacha mimba wapi?	7.2×	92k	1.7k	687	24
42	Jan 15, '24	Sundays are for this, unaamka na mpoa wako, mnakula home made breakfast alafu mnaweka maji baridi like 2L per person na snacks. Alafu because it's a free country, unadunga manyatha	7.0×	90k	1.3k	322	56
43	Jan 9, '24	Mara ngapi tutawaambia hivi? Imagine unaamka mapema kuharvest ngwaci nahuko Nyabera alafu ukuje kununulia wamama iPhones?	6.2×	79k	1.4k	630	33
44	Jan 31, '21	RMS buana, huyu ameamua kufungua roho.	6.1×	0	4.9k	2.3k	212
45	Jan 27, '23	Mpesa app is like a fundi, it works at its own convenience.	6.1×	78k	1.1k	234	6
46	Feb 20, '25	Alafu sasa unaweka picha yako ni kama wewe ulikamuliwa.	6.0×	76k	2.9k	1k	22
47	Jul 7, '24	View post on X	5.7×	72k	2k	458	11
48	Jun 27, '25	I'd never be truthful with a woman. If I tell my woman that I want to spank her ass and watch them cheeks jiggling , she'll make them stiff, I'm not about that.	5.6×	71k	1.7k	322	104
49	Apr 12, '25	These vernacular radio stations need to be stopped from pushing this gambling madness. There’s a presenter on Gukena FM who actually advised that if you’re at home broke, and don’t	5.3×	68k	1.3k	522	31
50	Apr 2, '24	Your woman atanunua socks way before your birthday ikaange ready kwa keja. Mkikosana before that anazivaa akilala as she laments how she almost made you happy but you misbehaved.	5.2×	67k	1.4k	603	69
51	May 30, '25	It's Kikuyu Pipes, not Hotel!	5.2×	66k	1.6k	335	10
52	Sep 29, '25	Poverty has no dignity. Now look at your miserable self creating a fake narrative for a few coins?	5.1×	65k	1.6k	389	13
53	Apr 4, '25	Wewe ni wale Kikuyu tycoons huishi kwa apartments zao just like any other tenant na nobody knows rent yote ni ya account yake.	4.7×	60k	1.7k	224	34
54	Apr 15, '25	If you were making USD 11,000 in a 5hr job, you'd not be on Twitter trying to convince us, you'd probably keep off social media. This is monopoly money 😂	4.6×	58k	1.3k	260	15
55	Nov 12, '25	Ongea kitu unajua. Those arms are being supplied by a specific person and they are not doing it on behalf of the country or Kenyans at large.	4.4×	56k	3k	654	17
56	Sep 21, '22	A message y'all who are willing to learn a new skill.	4.3×	0	3k	1.3k	1.2k
57	Jul 17, '22	Online business people, if you use Facebook and IG, do it on desktop using the Meta Business Manager and set to automatic schedule. That thing knows about your followers and their	4.3×	0	3.4k	1.1k	1.1k
58	Jul 31, '25	Guys, treat this as malicious posts. My woman has not complained a single day.	4.2×	54k	1.2k	320	14
59	Nov 2, '24	This is why you should get a childish woman who will get on that thing shamelessly	4.2×	54k	1.9k	456	42
60	Jun 25, '25	A sleepy town where people only focus on cabbages, carrots and milk production has demos.	4.2×	54k	1.7k	989	40
61	Apr 18, '25	You bastards are auctioning your future for a few thousand shillings? Goodness.	3.6×	47k	1.9k	705	14
62	May 20, '21	Here in Kenya, container houses are overpriced, pallet furniture is overpriced. I thought the whole point was to repurpose them and have cheaper products.	3.5×	0	3.9k	1.1k	50
63	Aug 10, '25	1.5yrs? Kwani wanaendea beams and bars one by one from China na mgongo?	3.4×	43k	1.8k	482	8
64	Jul 12, '25	Kuna msee anaishi single room ama bedsitter somewhere but he is able to take care of all his financial needs, he is financially stable. But when women talk about "financially stabl	3.2×	41k	1.3k	380	55
65	Sep 16	I'm putting up my 2002 Subaru Legacy BH5 GT-B up for sale after exactly 4 years of ownership. It's running the juicy 2,000cc Version 7 turbo engine, with 565cc blue injectors to gi	3.0×	39k	178	85	38
66	Feb 3, '19	Nope. He is a violent, entitled and spoilt kid.	3.0×	0	2.4k	1.5k	35
67	Jun 26, '25	They destroy education, health, economy etc. When you complain, they send thugs to harm you and loot the little you have that is sustaining you.	2.9×	37k	1.2k	707	14
68	Jul 17, '25	15 mins. I paid 150 bob for 4 copies.	2.5×	32k	1.4k	251	7
69	Apr 14, '21	Kericho Gold tea leaves are not entirely Kenyan, neither are they from Kericho. They are imported from Malawi.	2.4×	0	2.3k	748	73
70	Sep 16, '19	Sorry Abigael from Juja, I'd request you to spend that time with your lecturers for a brighter future. Regards.	2.2×	0	1.5k	1k	25
71	Dec 14, '22	A newspaper distributor in New Zealand has clocked 2,000,000km in his 1993 Toyota Corolla. He still runs the original engine and gearbox, covering 5,000km weekly and servicing the	2.2×	0	2.7k	506	42
72	Mar 25, '25	No, we will celebrate when our enemies and their families leave this earth, we don't sympathize with our oppressors.	2.0×	26k	1.7k	674	9
73	Apr 23, '22	There's something really off about the post and replies 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.	2.0×	0	2.1k	555	27
74	May 6, '19	Frasha.	1.9×	0	1.5k	919	2
75	Jul 10, '22	Social introverts hua mnadeal na hii maneno aje? I can go for days without kusalimia watu ama kuongea and I'm in paradise. Bora niko na chai, chapo na pesa kidogo kwa mfuko niko tu	1.9×	0	2k	504	47
76	Oct 18, '21	A year older, no kids, no baby mama, no kids, the fight against poverty is still ongoing. We thank Sir Jah.	1.8×	0	2.4k	349	31
77	Jun 4, '22	17 years later, Tuendelee remains the must brutal mainstream diss track in Kenyan music industry to date. Give it up for Kleptomaniax.	1.8×	0	2.3k	425	32
78	Oct 1, '25	This is crack and thuggery.	1.7×	22k	1.1k	368	9
79	Aug 30, '21	Weekends are always good times at the farm.	1.7×	0	2.5k	200	12
80	Jul 10, '21	Nimefungua fridge nikatoa beer, it was so cold, I felt like I had touched a woman's heart. Nimeirudisha tu nikapika chai.	1.6×	0	2k	444	18
81	Apr 14, '19	On a first date, Me:	1.6×	0	1.3k	816	3
82	Aug 5, '19	I'm shtanding on the shtage...	1.6×	0	1.5k	634	8
83	Jun 26, '22	Out of the 17,876 spectators, 18,112 were alcohol vendors. Mûngenetie ta ngui.	1.6×	0	1.8k	441	11
84	Dec 19, '21	Had a small presentation earlier in the day and the proposal was approved.	1.5×	0	2.3k	146	15
85	Dec 5, '18	Hii Nairobi ata kupata change ya thao you need connections.	1.5×	0	1.3k	657	2
86	Nov 29, '20	Brooooo, the dollar is at Kshs 114.2, nini ina'happen sasa?	1.4×	0	1.8k	228	13
87	Aug 5, '19	Monkey imekujia matibabu after kunyongwa sana	1.4×	0	1.2k	649	5
88	Mar 4, '22	If you have a budget of Kshs 1,000 for a monthly mobile data plan, you will get the following from the major 4G service providers: •JTL - 25GB •Airtel- 12GB •Telkom- 12GB •Safarico	1.3×	0	1.1k	410	158
89	Oct 13, '21	Chura yako muzuri mamaaaaaaaa	1.3×	0	1.5k	396	13
90	Jan 10, '22	I don't understand why NHIF penalises people on skipped payments. They have not offered you any service on credit and they would not have paid bills for the period you didn't submi	1.2×	0	1.4k	399	19
91	May 21, '21	I have bought a Safaricom SIM card today, and within 5 minutes it has received a betting SMS from 20422	1.2×	0	1.6k	292	6
92	Apr 26, '20	I have come across a Kenyan YouTuber named Ivy Melania. Just a kawaida Kenyan living in a small crib like we all do when starting life, content that many can relate with, sio kila	1.2×	0	1.3k	309	101
93	Nov 28, '21	Hii Kenya don't feel bad about your financial success levels. We all have different resources and capabilities, bora you're taking care of your bills na huibi uko sawa, kesho pia n	1.2×	0	1.4k	365	18
94	Dec 11, '21	Dear Kenyan reggae selectors, this great genre has more than the 32 songs y'all play in every mix. Stua audience kidogo, play them some new music, play some old time rarely played	1.2×	0	1.3k	325	8
95	Aug 25, '22	I've come to the conclusion that in life I don't need that much tbh. A 1 acre house compound, a Landcruiser 200 series, a Subaru Impreza WRX STI, A 3.2L MT6 Ford Ranger, a Probox,	1.2×	0	1.3k	302	27
96	Jun 2, '22	I have lived by myself since I was 21 na sijawai lala njaa ama nikakula chakula baridi juu sijui kuingia jikoni. A small union haitafanya niamshe mtu 2AM nikitoka marigiti ndio ani	1.2×	0	1.4k	294	16
97	Mar 30, '22	County governments kill more businesses than they facilitate. They would rather make 500k from 2 small businesses than make 40k from 1,000 businesses.	1.1×	0	1.1k	468	5
98	Dec 13, '21	Bachelor hazipiki, zinaishi like slaves leaving the house at 6AM for work and getting back at 8PM, they survive on office tea+chapati na kibanda for lunch. Ukienda kutembelea those	1.1×	0	1.1k	315	15
99	Oct 11, '20	How many of you people would admit that some of your exes were actually nice people?	1.0×	0	1.1k	153	16
100	May 20, '21	Can't wait the day I will be hiring and my requirement for certain roles will be "Come as you are, just be bright, open minded and teachable" Then I will teach them how I want my w	0.9×	0	1.1k	268	7
101	Jun 25, '22	Tuingie site	0.9×	0	1.2k	141	4

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