Carpe Donktum🔹

@CarpeDonktum429k followers

Eternally Sarcastic Memesmith. Content I post was "Doctored" by me 🎥 👨‍⚕️⚕️

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Posts 92 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Nov 6, '24Trump got 3 million fewer votes than 2020. Kamala Harris got 15 million less. Where did 15 million people go??165×10.9M147k13k4.3k
2Apr 13, '23As a 3rd grade teacher, I often talk about Jesus with my students, they are so excited to hear about my faith. They point to the cross on wall and ask me about the resurrection. So72.8×4.8M31k6.2k1.3k
3Jun 28, '24This is my favorite moment from the debate.54.5×3.6M23k5.2k2.9k
4Dec 28, '22After 2 years of being suspended, I am having a hard time finding the words to express the thoughts and emotions I am feeling. This must be what John Fetterman feels like all the t48.6×3.2M55k6.9k117
5Feb 3, '23There is something written on the chinese spy ballon but I can't make it out... can you guys read it?48×3.2M25k3.8k136
6Oct 23, '24Kamala Harris grabbed my butt inappropriately, and I have been suffering in silence for the last 22 years, but I am finally ready to talk about it 12 days before the election.43.8×2.9M110k10k1.3k
7Feb 5, '23Why does sexual reassignment surgery only have 2 gender options?38.8×2.5M34k5k457
8Jul 3, '24Imagine trying to get the greatest president in the history of the country to resign 4 months before the election because of a cold and a stutter. Something here doesn't add up.31.7×2.1M19k2.4k340
9Jun 16, '23Your country has been stolen from you. Your government no longer even attempts to represent your interests at home or abroad. Your elected officials despise you, and they are syste27.4×1.8M31k11k1.7k
10Apr 4, '23BREAKING: Trump was temporarily placed in a holding cell between two other inmates being processed for petty theft. I am being told that Trump had a short conversation with one of 27×1.8M20k2.1k223
11Jul 19, '24This is unbelievable, why did you do this @jaketapper? Have you no decency?27×1.8M17k5.2k559
12Dec 29, '22Some have been asking me to repost the video that got me banned and sued. Okie Doke. *Heads up Twitter, I WON the case, you can't ban me again for reposting.23.8×1.6M43k12k900
13Aug 13, '24Jim Sciutto from CNN. This belongs in a museum.15.9×1M27k3.9k529
14Nov 19, '24Dear Democrats, Starting a nuclear war with Russia WILL NOT overturn the results of the 2024 election. Please stop trying to blow up the world to rule over the ashes. Thanks, The W14.5×953k54k9.3k391
15Aug 13, '241.1 million people listening, and there is no free concert.13.3×869k26k3.2k110
16Oct 10, '23Am I going crazy or did the Libs call us all nazi's and antisemites for the last 7 years and then go into full Hamas fanboy mode when they started murdering Israeli civilians?11.7×767k28k6.8k243
17May 31, '24If only Trump had abandoned a laptop full of videos of himself smoking meth, banging hookers, waving illegal firearms around, and emails detailing his scheme to sell his dad's infl11.3×742k38k7.5k907
18Jul 15, '24The push to "cool down the rhetoric" is the final boss level of 8 years of gaslighting. After spending nearly a decade calling us nazis, white supremacists, russian spies, extremis11.2×733k38k8.1k989
19Jul 19, '24The reason Trump’s ear bandage make Libs so angry is that it instantly reminds them that they are in fact the bad guys.10.7×704k32k4k151
20Feb 22, '23I have returned bearing gifts.10.2×672k15k3.6k209
21Nov 6, '24BREAKING: Christian leaders call an emergency meeting to discuss the possibility that the rapture has already occurred as 15 million democrat voters disappeared without a trace ove9.3×612k30k5.1k926
22Nov 7, '24Ok, so we won, but when do we start building the camps? Should I get started now, will I get an email from Trump, and then I start? I've never been a fascist before, I don't know h7.1×465k22k2.1k678
23Jul 22, '24In any other country, if the current leader disappeared for 4 days, and in the meantime, dropped out of the race via letter, and basically gave the keys to the kingdom to their lea7.1×463k26k4.9k299
24Aug 11, '24BREAKING: Kamala says she was inspired to steal Trump's "no taxes on tips" idea after she saw how easy it was for Tim to steal valor.6.8×445k21k5.1k112
25Dec 23, '23Nikki Haley would be an excellent VP pick for Trump. I would also suggest Mike Pence as Chief of Staff, Mitt Romney as Secretary of Defense, Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, 6.3×414k12k1.4k69
26Sep 19, '23I kept silent for nearly 3 years, but it is time for me to speak out. I was sexually assaulted by @ProjectLincoln and @CNN in the restroom of an Indiana truck stop. As a transwoman5.7×374k13k2.6k40
27Nov 2, '24A random squirrel in New York has more love and support behind it than Kamala Harris.5.6×370k33k3.7k139
28Jul 27, '23NOBODY actually believes that Trump is an evil mastermind, so why is he being indicted over and over and over again? Because he is an on-going threat to the establishment, and he e5.3×350k15k4.4k53
29Sep 10, '25Keep Charlie's name out of your fucking mouth. You and everyone else in your satanic party have spent the last 8 years doing your very best to incite acts of violence just like thi5.2×343k28k3.8k226
30Dec 19, '24I was really happy when Trump won the election, but now I am feeling some buyers remorse. I mean, his cabinet appointments are fire, but it doesn't even look like he is serious abo5.0×330k17k1.6k229
31Jan 7, '23Kevin McCarthy is fighting 1000% harder for the speaker position than he ever did for any of us.4.9×325k17k2.6k11
32Oct 26, '24Does Trump sometimes meander and go off topic when he is talking? Absolutely. But, any reasonable and honest person that watched his interview with Joe Rogan would HAVE to admit th4.6×301k25k3.6k134
33Nov 14, '24BREAKING: Evidence shows that Matt Gaetz, Trump's pick for Attorney General, took showers with his 12 year old daughter. Oh wait, that was Joe Biden.3.8×252k25k4.3k175
34Nov 6, '24It is going to be SO NICE to not have to hear "but she won the popular vote" for the next 4 years.3.8×246k14k98386
35Jul 19, '24Trump has been talking for an hour, seamlessly transitioning between riffing on politics, telling stories, cracking jokes, and his prepared speech. Less than a week after being sho3.6×236k22k3.1k136
36Aug 13, '24Jim, I want to congratulate you on the most savage self-own ever tweeted.3.0×197k13k1.4k59
37Sep 10, '25Charlie never hurt a fly, and somebody murdered him over words that upset them. This is what happens when you convince the dumbest people on the planet that speech you don't like i2.9×189k13k2.6k270
38Jul 14, '24In case you just woke up from a long nap, the only existential threat we face in this country, is the Democrat Party.2.9×187k15k2.8k54
39Nov 15, '19It's not like President Trump left Ambassador Yovanovitch to die in Benghazi and then blamed it on a YouTube video.2.6×023k7.6k43
40Jun 21, '20Thank you for demonstrating why we cannot allow voting by mail!2.6×022k7.5k103
41Dec 12, '19Whoever this is, regardless of their party affiliation, should lose their press pass and be banned from the capitol building. @mattgaetz @RepAndyBiggsAZ @Jim_Jordan @DevinNunes2.3×015k6.9k79
42Oct 15, '19Yesterday @ABC said that the following was a "mistake" - Using footage from a Kentucky Gun Range - Digitally stabilizing the video - Applying an exposure filter to make it darker -2.3×018k7.2k159
43Nov 6, '18THIS IS ELECTION TAMPERING. I was sent this video by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, I have blurred the reflections to obscure their identity. The attendant told this pers2.2×09.1k9.2k45
44Nov 20, '18Jim Acosta being reintroduced back into the Press Briefing Room. He was cautious at first, but he seems to be adjusting just fine.2.2×015k6.5k93
45Sep 7, '19ANYONE who attacks a teacher like this should finish their education from a jail cell.2.2×014k4.8k150
46Nov 4, '19BREAKING: @dennisrodman has a message for you. DO NOT miss this very IMPORTANT announcement!2.1×017k6.3k132
47Apr 3, '19Noooooooo Joe, NOT DURING THE APOLOGY!2.0×015k5.5k116
48Jun 17, '20Reposting this for the "just let him go crowd" and the "it wasn't a dangerous situation" crowd. Sheep, the lot of you. You couldn't pay me enough money to do what Police do.2.0×014k6.1k570
49Dec 3, '19An Idiots Guide to Response on Political Twitter A thread.1.8×011k4.6k568
50Nov 6, '24The first official act of @realDonaldTrump as the 47th President of the United States should be to award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to @ScottPresler He single-handedly deliv1.8×119k14k2.7k71
51Feb 6, '19The State of the Democratic Party: Hurting #SOTU1.8×011k5.5k200
52Apr 14, '20I hired Donald Trump to fire organizations like the WHO.1.7×020k2.8k7
53Nov 13, '19My favorite moment from the #ImpeachmentHearings today.1.7×012k4.9k176
54Nov 19, '19Last one... I swear. Greta reacts to #FartGate1.7×013k4.3k250
55Jun 19, '20CNN just did a 20 minute segment on my meme, condemning it for "exploiting children" This was broadcast from the same studio in which CNN panelists and hosts called the Covington K1.7×015k4.6k49
56Dec 9, '19Proud to count this American Patriot among my friends. Love you Owen!1.6×015k4k129
57Nov 6, '19Remember when the entire media had a panic attack over Trumps comments on the Access Hollywood tape? While this was going on, those same people knew that Epstein was raping childre1.6×013k5.4k43
58Apr 25, '19Basing your entire campaign on a LIE... Bold strategy Creepy Joe. #Biden20201.6×011k4.9k130
59Sep 9, '19Only YOU can prevent Fake News Dumpster Fires.1.6×012k4.9k164
60Aug 24, '19I fixed Elizabeth Warrens campaign dance. You're welcome.1.5×012k4k120
61Jan 28, '20BREAKING: Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi announce that should the Senate fail to convict President Trump, they will immediately draft Articles of Impeachment citing "Obstruction of I1.5×014k3.2k18
62Jan 14, '20They called him a Russian Agent every day for 3 years... so did you. How about you sit this one out.1.5×014k3.4k20
63Jan 8, '20Rep @IlhanMN claims she’s “stricken with PTSD" because of the Iran situation. For the good of the country, you should resign immediately for disrespecting veterans who are ACTUALLY1.5×012k3.1k45
64Feb 10, '20I just had an epiphany. Joe Biden is quite literally the embodiment of what Democrats BELIEVE Donald Trump is... but isn't. A corrupt, bitter, creepy old man with dementia. A man w1.4×014k3.5k99
65Apr 22, '20I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but the Constitution of the the United States doesn't just disappear because of a virus. Pass it on.1.4×013k4.1k16
66May 16, '20There is a team of doctors dedicated 24/7 too keeping Nancy from falling apart.1.4×010k3.4k159
67Nov 25, '19What singular event or moment cemented your support of President Trump. Mine: When I watched a video of Trump being interviewed by Oprah in 1988 and I realized it wasn't just talk,1.4×012k2.6k48
68Jan 22, '20Name a worse husband than George Conway.1.4×09.3k9558
69Sep 11, '19I can't speak for all of you... but it wouldn't bother me one bit if #GoFuckYourselfCNN trended all day today. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE1.3×010k3.5k56
70Dec 9, '19CONFIRMED: Hillary Clinton paid a foreign spy to compile a dossier on Trump based on Russian sources. That dossier was the sole source used for the FISA warrants. The FBI used taxp1.3×011k4.3k61
71Jun 19, '20Fact check please @CNN1.3×012k3.2k62
72Apr 14, '20NEW VIDEO: Presented without comment... except this one.1.3×08.8k3.6k226
73Jan 11, '20Hate me for saying it, but the net result of "WW3" was - Trump looks strong - Iran looks weak - Pelosi looks petty - Dems look hypocritical - Obama looks naive - MSM looks hysteric1.3×012k3.1k43
74Oct 30, '19Can I get a fact check on this? Doctored or Real?1.3×012k2.5k11
75Jan 17, '20I have started a GoFundMe to send Tori on a vacation. Anyone that has to deal with this twerp definitely deserves it. I'll start with a $50 donation.1.2×011k2.7k123
76Apr 5, '19Hey @ChrisCuomo, I heard you disapprove of special effects. Let's get after it.1.2×08.6k3.6k39
77Jun 27, '19What really happened during the #DemDebate technical difficulties.1.2×09.2k3.2k105
78Mar 11, '20Public Service Announcement Don't elect people with dementia to become the President of the United States.1.2×08.8k3.8k209
79Nov 13, '19I don't care if @RepGosar did this on his own or if a staffer came up with it... EPIC.1.2×09.6k3.5k108
80Feb 5, '20In case this is my last day on twitter... I regret nothing. I love you all. MAGA2020!1.2×014k1.6k11
81Jan 30, '20Sorry about the wait on this, real life happens. Poor little Blue Adam Schiff.1.2×09.6k3.1k144
82Jul 17, '19MY STATEMENT ADDRESSING ATTEMPTS BY THE MSM AND ANTIFA TO RELEASE MY NAME. @HuffPost @BuzzFeed @CNN @MSNBC @CBS @NBC @ABC1.2×09.2k3.2k73
83Jan 27, '20Chris Wallace got owned and threw a temper tantrum. That was glorious.1.1×012k2k35
84Nov 19, '19Swalells fart has attracted more attention than his Presidential Campaign ever did. #FartGate1.1×09.8k2.3k60
85Dec 4, '19They mock him behind his back and cower before him. Children often talk tough when the teacher leaves the room, it's a coping mechanism for not being in control.1.1×09.9k2.5k37
87Nov 11, '19If members of President Trump's cabinet came to me and asked me to help them subvert his agenda, the agenda that the American people voted for... I wouldn't wait till after I left 1.0×09k2.2k8
88Jan 17, '20I love this dude. Honestly can't believe people hate this guy. Never Change @realDonaldTrump1.0×010k2.2k87
89Feb 4, '20BREAKING: Ryder Truck with 19 boxes of Iowa Democratic Ballots found at the Broward Airport. DNC scrambles to get the new found votes counted.1.0×09.8k2k20
90Jan 7, '20CNN: We are the most trusted name in news! Also CNN: WE ARE NOT FAKE NEWS Also Also CNN: We just settled a huge lawsuit against us because of our Fake News.1.0×09.4k2.7k8
91Dec 13, '19I just got blocked of FaceBook by someone I have known since I was 12. Not because I started a fight or said something mean. I simply responded to his political post in a calm, res1.0×010k1.3k10
92Dec 31, '19I haven't seen Democrats this upset since Republicans freed their slaves. #ItsOkayToBeWhite1.0×09.6k2.1k37
93Jan 28, '20Is there a more stomach turning worm than Adam Schiff? I have a seething hatred for that lying, smirking, pompous jerk that I can't explain. He genuinely makes me feel like I am in1.0×09.4k1.5k4

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