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alyssa mastromonaco

@AlyssaMastro44132k followers

jam maker. rescue cat mom. some days Nancy Drew, others Ramona Quimby. books, #hysteria, producer.

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Oct 16
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Posts 100 posts
#DatePost↓ OutlierViewsLikesRepostsBookmarks
1Jun 20, '20hi from 100K in St. Louis for Barack Obama 10/08 😉28.9×072k11k261
2Sep 19, '18you made barack obama produce a birth certificate 48 yrs after the fact28.5×070k15k84
3Oct 16, '17that's a fucking lie. to say president obama (or past presidents) didn't call the family members of soldiers KIA - he's a deranged animal.24.5×053k15k0
4Sep 15, '17let us know when you kill Bin Laden14.4×032k8.5k1
5Jan 19, '21safe to say #InaugurationDay is going to be .... extraordinary8.6×024k2.5k200
6Apr 8, '18File under: Things @MichelleObama knew, created programs to combat and YOUR DAD ROLLED BACK7.7×017k4.9k15
7Jun 2, '19goes without saying but @ewarren is literally the opposite of our current President in every way humanly imaginable6.3×018k2k41
8May 14, '20During my time in the White House Ronny Jackson was my colleague, my friend and my doctor. I thanked him in my book for his good care. His comments yesterday and today leave me con6.1×015k2.1k89
9Feb 8, '21the mask wearing face of man who understands being a role model is bigger than endorsement deals @PatrickMahomes6.1×019k1.1k61
10Aug 31, '17hey girl...so you're officially out of the club. you will never be let back in. you are a traitor. you have no empathy. no sisterhood.6.0×013k3.6k0
11Sep 19, '20may her memory be a revolution5.9×016k2.4k40
12Jul 7, '21if true, this is my kind of Avengers movie5.4×016k1.6k87
13Feb 24, '20why am I paying for their 2nd honeymoon omfg5.2×015k1.1k37
14Jun 27, '18speaking of civility...on the eve of Barack Obama’s inauguration Mitch McConnell said he would make it his mission to obstruct his agenda and make him a one term president. while I4.6×012k2.2k19
15Aug 20, '17We disagreed. We just weren't assholes. We were heard. And if you didn't get your way you didn't go kick rocks and tell Politico.4.4×011k2.2k0
16Dec 7, '17I gotta say - I didn’t think you COULD revise them. I really didn’t. I treated mine like a college thesis that involved marriage vows.3.4×07.5k2k0
17Oct 17, '1718th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff 👇🏼👇🏼3.3×07.5k2.1k0
18Jul 12, '18good night.3.3×09.7k84413
19Jun 2, '21happy bday @jonfavs —one of my fave pics of us bc we all look like we are solving a crime but we are really trying to see if the diner across the street is open3.1×011k11528
20Feb 20, '20later tonight @ewarren will be on Law and Order solving all the crimes.2.5×07.6k62713
21Sep 24, '18oh hell no. back the fuck away from my flotus.2.5×07.4k5882
22Aug 16, '18i don’t talk a lot about private conversations me and @POTUS44 ever had but when I started a conversation with him about talent for the first inaugural he cut me off and said “Aret2.4×06.9k8174
23Feb 21, '18“I HEAR YOU” had to be scripted. I have nothing left.2.4×05k1.5k1
24Nov 8, '20i have unfollowed donald trump. join me.2.3×06.5k2824
25Aug 9, '20she also got rid of semiautomatic guns2.3×06.9k58910
26Mar 8, '21no one staffed her?!? she had to google hymns?!? you all know this is appalling to me.2.3×07.4k26340
27Mar 11, '20my feels: don’t tell @ewarren what to do don’t tell @BernieSanders what to do don’t dance on people’s graves don’t deny the obvious do be proud of what you’ve accomplished. progres2.3×06.7k63313
28Oct 7, '20I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s very hard to stick to weight watchers and also watch cable news at night in 20202.3×07.3k2077
29Dec 10, '17damn, girl. he does get the credit. just like you will get all the credit in the world for doubling down on a racist pedo2.2×05.8k8480
30Aug 11, '20I heartily look forward to the VP debate 🍿2.1×06.7k3902
31Sep 19, '20i realize i’m basically a stoner who makes jam at this point but uh....schumer is gonna shut down the senate or we burn it down, right? this can’t be a forgone conclusion.2.1×06.3k41616
32Nov 8, '17make election night great again2.1×05.5k9280
33Jan 31, '18do u guys think it’s gonna be Melania who yells “you lie!” tonight2.1×05.8k6990
34Mar 31, '21every single witness feels more guilt and trauma about what happened than these police officers do.2.1×06.1k56713
35Aug 15, '18when we worked together Brennan took high risk trips often+I got wind of one that wld be a real high wire+he was flying coach commercial. I went to him to say “let me get you a pla2.1×05.5k8408
36Mar 4, '19Luke Perry is dead. We have no time for you. Please mute yourself.2.0×05.8k5255
37Sep 1, '21oh btw susan collins does Roe still feel like SETTLED LAW to you?!2.0×05.9k49610
38Apr 7, '20simple observation that Germany and New Zealand are both led by women and are crushing their curves ** New Zealand isn't just flattening its coronavirus curve. It's squashing it. -1.9×04.3k97744
39Feb 20, '20We have been nice. We have been empathetic. We’ve been told to smile. We’ve been smarter a lot of the time. Most of the time. I am high on @ewarren saying what we’ve wanted to all 1.9×05.2k6349
41Dec 14, '20People always ask what the worst day in the WH was — it was 12/14/12 and of all the painful memories from the days that followed I will never forget @BarackObama saying as we were 1.8×05.3k47220
42Jul 8, '18Everyone needs to understand this and talk about it nonstop. So many people are unaware of the swift consequences we could face1.8×03.2k1.5k13
43Nov 19, '19illegal use of an official WH account again1.8×05.4k46418
44May 13, '18uh girl, how did you get here? you a first American? my Opa came here+worked in a steel plant. omie boxed up phone orders at Bamburgers. they paid taxes+raised good humans. when I 1.8×05.2k5262
45Jul 9, '18i cannot believe Trump is going to get what is essentially a prime time address to announce SCOTUS - that nets will give him this insane audience and has yet to have to answer ANYT1.8×04.5k7782
46Feb 22, '20the first time I met @BarackObama and went to work for him I was 28 and today I am 44 and 44 is a great number so let’s make this year some change we can believe in 😂 (and hbd to 1.7×05.6k1378
47Sep 27, '18LADY YOU DID IT!!!! You did every single woman I know so proud. So many of us could never EVER have done this #ThankYouDrFord1.7×04.8k5272
48Jul 28, '20when women lead, shit gets done. quickly. #hbdJacinda1.6×05k4104
49Mar 1, '20worth noting that @SenGillibrand is out hustling her ass off to get Dems elected and flip the Senate1.6×04.9k3899
50Feb 11, '21when I was deputy chief I was routinely made aware of events planned around DC or anywhere we would travel with potus. I’m talking 75-100 person tea party protests. it’s inconceiva1.6×04.4k53142
51Feb 16, '20If pundits stopped saying a woman can’t win, a woman would win.1.6×04.2k63114
52Dec 24, '20happy birthday buddy!! @danpfeiffer1.6×05.5k3715
53Jul 31, '17kind of hard to draw a red line here, ladies .... pussy grabbing and making fun of disabled people were MAJOR flags you seem to have missed1.6×03.6k9720
54Aug 18, '20i could not love @JoeBiden and the Amtrak workers more1.6×04.9k2905
55Mar 12, '21this is the best speech Joe Biden has ever given at exactly the right time. we are so lucky. he’s got it. he knows what to do. and he’s doing it.1.6×05k2154
56Sep 13, '19When you get asked about education and you were a god damn teacher #DemDebate1.5×04.5k4628
57Jan 12, '21may this live forever bc we never let it die.1.5×04k412130
58Nov 30, '17oh also @realDonaldTrump - my POTUS @BarackObama still has 40 million more Twitter followers than you so your hate reaches half as many as his hope1.5×04.2k5120
59May 23, '19women aren’t philanthropies1.5×04.5k3635
60May 8, '21bo was the best boy 💔1.5×05.1k806
61Feb 21, '21I can’t wait to see a Broadway show again someday1.5×04.5k2104
62Jul 24, '20I don’t know what to say about this other than it’s the truth and I could not respect @aoc more for how she handles this garbage when she should never ever have to1.4×04.4k3322
63Oct 27, '20the fuck it is.1.4×04.5k2556
64Aug 26, '20fuck that guy1.4×04.5k14931
65Mar 19, '21i love weed. you know why? bc i am not perfect. i get anxiety. i get PMS. there are times when i can’t see the forest for the trees. people who use cannabis aren’t burn out stoners1.4×04.3k25930
66Dec 29, '21RIP Senator Reid, one of the absolute greatest1.4×04.3k25711
67Nov 8, '18god save RBG1.3×03.8k4393
68Jun 19, '18may our landscape be dotted with barack obama elementary schools ✌🏼1.3×04.2k2572
69Oct 31, '18of all the things that I could retweet this morning, I choose this1.3×03.6k53516
70May 17, '20til the end of time.1.3×04.4k1054
71Mar 15, '20god save the Queen.1.3×04k3472
72Jun 17, '20I am crying I am I can’t help it you can disagree with his politics but you can’t argue with his actual love for people1.3×03.8k32744
73Dec 12, '17OH HELL NO. You do not call @SenGillibrand - a woman who has spent her career fighting for for families, a mother, my sister “lightweight”. You sir, are the lightweight. And if you1.3×03.6k4880
74Nov 6, '18just in case anyone was wondering...YES ITS FUCKING NUTS THAT OFFICIAL WH STAFF ARE SPEAKING AT A CAMPAIGN RALLY while in their official capacity.1.3×03.4k5129
75Nov 6, '20after tonight there is no going back for any member of his cabinet or staff. they’re no longer complicit, they’re entirely culpable. there is no sufficient action short of triggeri1.3×03.7k31714
76Sep 28, '20this is the truest thing on twitter 🤗 Monica Lewinsky Is God’s Gift to Twitter | Vogue1.2×03.9k16056
77Dec 11, '18why is there no Nancy Pelosi merch anywhere?1.2×03.7k2296
78Mar 20, '21legalize cannabis use reform the laws expunge records work for equity and equality in the industry use taxes from sales to build better schools, feed our citizens, fix our infrastr1.2×03.5k3287
79Aug 28, '20I hear that the Office of Special Counsel says this WH South Lawn obscenity is legal. Cool. I was told by OUR counsel I shouldn’t hang the framed front page of the Poughkeepsie Jou1.2×03.6k30623
80May 17, '20my president.1.2×03.9k1672
81Feb 19, '20when i was 18, I met @BernieSanders when he came to register people to vote @uvmvermont - i was a French major but I was so overwhelmed by his message i applied for an internship a1.2×03.3k38124
82Jan 22, '19for the record, I don’t know about you - but my mom would have locked me in my room, told me to think about what I had done for a GOOD LONG TIME and come down only when I could exp1.2×03.4k2433
83Jul 4, '19All day. Every day. #44istheAllWeatherPOTUS1.2×03.4k35213
84Oct 27, '2052-48 NEVER FORGET1.2×03.4k3088
85Oct 22, '17love trumps hate.1.2×03.2k4200
86Apr 2, '192020 alert: if i say a candidate did something well, or interesting it doesn’t mean I’ve tossed everyone else into the dumpster. I prefer to note positive things (except abtTrump+p1.2×03.6k1695
87May 29, '18Hi @ABCNetwork Ive given Roseanne a chance in hopes it cld help us understand what’s going on in this world. You must remove the show. I ask ALL SPONSORS to drop the show. Racist i1.2×03.3k3681
88Feb 5, '20my president wears white1.1×03.4k2664
89Oct 27, '20tonight the @maziehirono “hell no” when voting on Amy Coney Barrett expressed the anger...the rage at this total fucking hypocrisy so many of us feel tonight. #thankyouMazie1.1×03.2k24134
90Jul 7, '19explain to me right the fuck now how the @USWNT doesn’t deserve BETTER money than the men?!?1.1×03.1k3201
91Jan 2, '19merrick garland and go fuck yourself and learn how the senate works1.1×03.1k2953
92Sep 18, '20thank you, RBG. rest in power. we all fight on ♥️💔♥️1.1×03.3k2342
93Aug 20, '20it is what it is1.0×03.3k1815
94May 5, '20here for it 🤗1.0×03.3k1544
95Nov 8, '20I love this stage. I love the flags. I love the lighting. I love the drive-in. You did good #BidenHarris2020 advance team!!!!1.0×03.4k582
96May 25, '18this woman is Keri Thompson and she’s my friend and we grew up together, graduated together and SHE IS MY QUEEN and she took down Harvey #byeharvey1.0×03.1k1912
97Jan 12, '21i will dedicate my life to making sure she never sees the inside of the West Wing ever again1.0×03.2k1106
98Jul 21, '18god can you just fuck off for the weekend?1.0×03.1k1632
99Mar 4, '19if @danpfeiffer and I were still working at the White House you can bet there would be a presidential statement on the passing of Luke Perry. #RIPLP1.0×03.2k1042
100Aug 18, '20ready for tonight?! LFG ♥️💥♥️1.0×03.2k553
101Nov 12, '22as per usual, #hysteria listeners are the best. I got so many apfelstrudel recipes this year and a lovely lady named Cornelia from Germany sent the one that is definitely closest t0.1×0409410

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